Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Do you know anyone who went missing?

423 replies

FuckThatBullshit · 20/03/2022 18:01

Inspired by another poster and it's an internet rabbit hole I regularly go down because I find missing people stories fascinating and spooky and obviously very sad. Do you know anyone who just... vanished?

OP posts:
beenaroundtheblox · 20/03/2022 20:59

@CIaireFraser that's so awful for you.

Patienceisntvirtuous · 20/03/2022 21:03

@CIaireFraser

Yes, my brother.

He was living in London and his life was very chaotic. He was desperate for a new start, so we arranged for him to come and stay with me in while he looked for a job in my city. I'd been to the council and he was going to look at a flat that was coming up in a few weeks.

I sent him a train ticket and he texted me from the station on the day he was due to leave London to say he was on his way. I went to meet him from the train, but he didn't get off it.

That text from the station was the last I heard from him. That was almost 20 years ago. Nobody has heard from him or seen him since.

I'll never stop missing him or wondering what happened to him.

How awful for you Flowers :(
BurgerKingAddict · 20/03/2022 21:04

@noirchatsdeux
I think I remember reading that story in the news.

HisHX · 20/03/2022 21:09

@CIaireFraser

Yes, my brother.

He was living in London and his life was very chaotic. He was desperate for a new start, so we arranged for him to come and stay with me in while he looked for a job in my city. I'd been to the council and he was going to look at a flat that was coming up in a few weeks.

I sent him a train ticket and he texted me from the station on the day he was due to leave London to say he was on his way. I went to meet him from the train, but he didn't get off it.

That text from the station was the last I heard from him. That was almost 20 years ago. Nobody has heard from him or seen him since.

I'll never stop missing him or wondering what happened to him.

I am so sorry. I hope you get answers one day.
HisHX · 20/03/2022 21:13

A friend. Missing for several weeks, eventually found dead due to suicide. Just so awful, the whole thing. I can’t imagine the agony of friends and families who live on in painful suspense for years, or forever.
A topic I’m also morbidly fascinated by, I go down many a rabbit hole and listen to “The Missing” podcast - always hopeful I’ll be able to help one day.
Sending prayers to anyone on this thread that needs them.. 💐

HavfrueDenizKisi · 20/03/2022 21:16

I know of two.

One, a husband who went missing on an evening out and left behind his wife and two quite young kids. Took about 7 years until his remains was found in undergrowth and it was decided he'd been drunk and taken an odd route home and stopped for a rest on quite a cold night.

Second a school friend of mine who was from a Caribbean island and came to school in the UK. Some years after we left school she had had a child and was living in America. She went back to her parents for a visit with her child and left said child with her parents, supposedly for a few weeks. Never came back again. Parents and child never saw or heard from her again. Must be 20 or more years ago this happened. She pops in my mind every now and then. Very sad.

HavfrueDenizKisi · 20/03/2022 21:18

And one more. A friend of a friend this one but I had met this person many times. Anyway he became heavily involved in drug taking and spiralled somewhat after having been a very 'normal' person. Went missing one day. His body was found about 6 months later in a field. Drug overdose.

thenewduchessoflapland · 20/03/2022 21:19

Yes;a former work colleague;she was a lovely young woman but seemingly had her own secret demons;she left all her personal possessions at a relatives house near a beauty spot that she loved.

The police spent a few days looking for her in said beauty spot and was very sadly found passed away.

Randommother · 20/03/2022 21:24

Yes, a very close friend of mine went missing in the 90’s, his body was found a few months later - suicide. The period while he was missing was awful. The big issue ran an article on him while he was missing and we’re really supportive.

Maremaremare · 20/03/2022 21:26

You may like The Lady Vanishes podcast

BalloonSlayer · 20/03/2022 21:30

@bunnypenny there was a case like that in the UK a few years ago.

Couple flagged down a minicab, the woman got in and the driver drove off while the man was walking round to the other passenger door. He raised the alarm of course. In the meantime, the woman, realising what the driver doubtless had planned for her, opened the door and jumped out of the car. She died from her injuries. Absolutely awful.

Clarabe1 · 20/03/2022 21:32

Yes - quite recently as well. A really lovely chatty guy. Found his car but no sign of him. I feel so bad for his family. I hope they at least they find the body so they can get some closure.

Meidid · 20/03/2022 21:33

I'm 'missing'.

The story from those who reported me missing, and the actual story are very different.

I now live my life freely, hundreds of miles away, I can wear what I like, go out when I like, it's amazing.

I sometimes Google the old me and some people I cared about look for me still, that's hard, but my abusers also look for me too (even in the paper with sad faces once).

Its been hard, but overall it was the right thing.

MumGoneMild · 20/03/2022 21:34

My mum In 2003, i was 17
I had left home but my sister who was 18 just came hime one day and all my mums stuff had gone. Never heard from her again
Shr was forever moving us to out run debts and job scams and to hide from the wives ofthe men she was hooking up with so it wasnt out if character

She was a alcoholic and abusive and really am ambivalent at best about her but my sister is desperate for closure
Weirdly a old school friend told me she saw her in Southampton about 10 years ago snd she was certain it was her from the name on her uniform (rare foreign name) but nothing since

XmeansX · 20/03/2022 21:34

My mother got drunk one Sunday lunch and went to get more wine… next thing she knew she was on a train to the coast. Was 6 weeks of hell before she got in contact

Gonnagetgoing · 20/03/2022 21:35

I don’t know someone personally but a man locally to us went missing and never been found.

Also DB’s best friend from his early 20s appears to have gone missing but we think he’s gone to live with his parents in Ireland.

monarchoftheglen · 20/03/2022 21:36

My Uncle, back in 2001 (so missing for 21 years now). He was 32. Not a thing heard since.

Whitefire · 20/03/2022 21:39

A relative had had previous contact with the 'Milk carton kids' - David Spencer and Patrick Warren. They were most likely killed very early on but appalling failures by the police means that the families still have no answers.

And John Darwin, his poor Dad (now deceased).

IBloodyLoveMichaelJackson · 20/03/2022 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 20/03/2022 21:51

A female relative in the late 50s/early 60s. She had a husband and children. She just vanished. My dad once thought he saw her in Edinburgh and others reported she was living rough in London. Apparently her kids, when grown, knew where she was, but never said to the rest if the family. Putting two and two together, it sounded like her husband was controlling and abusive.
My son did. He was having mh and drug problems and just dropped off the face of the earth. We reached out to his friends, he just didn’t want to be found. Eventually (just as the police were starting to take it seriously) he came back. Never spoke of it.

amusedbush · 20/03/2022 21:52

About 18 months ago I was shocked to see a news article about a missing person - a guy I was really good friends with at school about 15 years ago. He moved away for uni and then I moved away a few years later so we lost touch, aside from the odd facebook "like".

I googled his name every day for a week and my heart sank when I saw that his body had been found. Just awful Sad

I'm so sorry to read all of these stories of loved ones who vanished and their family has no answers years later. That is heartbreaking and I can imagine that not knowing is the worst part. Even bad news (god forbid) would be preferable to no news Sad

Cocomarine · 20/03/2022 21:55

@FuckThatBullshit

Inspired by another poster and it's an internet rabbit hole I regularly go down because I find missing people stories fascinating and spooky and obviously very sad. Do you know anyone who just... vanished?
Fascinating and spooky? Really? Though you’ve thrown in “obviously” sad. I’m sure their families are glad of your entertainment.
userxx · 20/03/2022 21:55

@XmeansX

My mother got drunk one Sunday lunch and went to get more wine… next thing she knew she was on a train to the coast. Was 6 weeks of hell before she got in contact

Wow. That's brutal.

Longdistance · 20/03/2022 21:59

Yes, a family friend went missing. He disappeared for a few years and was later found by the Samaritans. He was back and then disappeared again when his df was ill and dying from cancer. He properly disappeared for about 15 years and was found in London, working as a janitor for a block of flats. This guy was quite high up within HMRC.

Nightdancer · 20/03/2022 22:00

*Meidid

I'm 'missing'.

The story from those who reported me missing, and the actual story are very different.

I now live my life freely, hundreds of miles away, I can wear what I like, go out when I like, it's amazing.

I sometimes Google the old me and some people I cared about look for me still, that's hard, but my abusers also look for me too (even in the paper with sad faces once).

Its been hard, but overall it was the right thing.*

Wow, this is breathtaking. I'm sorry but I don't have another word - my heart skipped. Very poignant to hear it from the 'missing person's' perspective.

You obviously don't to answer this, but do those who love you know that you are still alive?

I'm so glad you are well and that you are free now.