Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Do you know anyone who went missing?

423 replies

FuckThatBullshit · 20/03/2022 18:01

Inspired by another poster and it's an internet rabbit hole I regularly go down because I find missing people stories fascinating and spooky and obviously very sad. Do you know anyone who just... vanished?

OP posts:
YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 20/03/2022 22:06

My sister's friend vanished in 1977. She was 13 at the time. She rode off on her bike to go to her grandparent's house and just vanished. Neither her or her bike have ever been found.

Frillyfruli · 20/03/2022 22:06

My dad, on a trip abroad. They only realised when he didn't check out, the hotel manager went into the room and his passport, wallet and wedding ring were all in the room. Never seen since and that was almost 40 years ago.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 20/03/2022 22:07

Yes, and old school friend of mine.

Sadly his body was found three months later.

UnderCaffeinated · 20/03/2022 22:09

Yes, a friend of mine's mother went missing. Dropped her son off at school and then never returned, no one has heard from her since and its been several years now.

Heartofglass12345 · 20/03/2022 22:10

So sorry to all who have missing loved ones, it must be horrible Sad
A woman who was known to me from school went missing, her car was found on the Severn bridge and she was sadly found a few weeks later Sad

SpikeySmooth · 20/03/2022 22:13

@Meidid When I see appeals from Missing People it's difficult to understand the person at the centre's POV. Why did that person disappear? The family might be putting up a positive front (We love you/We're worried about you/ Please come home) but I don't know what's really gone on for someone to get to that point where going missing is preferable to staying.

Your post reminds me there are two sides to every story.

I'm glad you have found peace.

poodlepoop · 20/03/2022 22:13

One of my friends went backpacking abroad in the 90s and was never heard of again :( he Was declared officially dead some years later

Mumdiva99 · 20/03/2022 22:13

@Frillyfruli

My dad, on a trip abroad. They only realised when he didn't check out, the hotel manager went into the room and his passport, wallet and wedding ring were all in the room. Never seen since and that was almost 40 years ago.
So sorry for you @frillyfruli . I hope you were able to find peace with this.
Meidid · 20/03/2022 22:14

You obviously don't to answer this, but do those who love you know that you are still alive?

No they don't.

There isn't a way that I could let them know and still be safe unfortunately.

I compartmentalise my old and new lives, and they have to be just a sad story from my past now.

Its hard because it was a long time ago and when I see people online who still think of old me it hurts.

Even if I felt I would be safe now I wouldn't know where to begin with telling them.

The loss of some people I love was the price I paid for my life I suppose.

Gilead · 20/03/2022 22:16

My uncle, back in the sixties, my grandparents saw him on University Challenge a few years later so knew he was alive. I found him when his mother (my grandmother) was dying but he wasn’t interested.

VanillaSugar2022 · 20/03/2022 22:16

Claudia Lawrence. I was at school with her and my parents knew her parents. I feel dreadfully sorry for her father, especially as he’s died and will never known what happened.

One of the people I occasionally chat to when out walking my dog knows the McCanns.

Squiff70 · 20/03/2022 22:17

Every single one of these stories is utterly heartbreaking. I just can't even I imagine! Bear

Meidid · 20/03/2022 22:18

Your post reminds me there are two sides to every story.

There really are.

The people I left told so many lies to make me sound crazy and dangerous.

It wasn't like that at all, nobody knew what my home life was like so there was noone to back up my story.

I always wonder when I see other appeals for people what the actual story is.

Gilead · 20/03/2022 22:19

@Meidid I moved a long way to escape abuse. I know (and love) that feeling of freed. I NEVER share Facebook posts about missing people, simply because nobody knows if it’s an abuser hunting down someone.

Figgyboa · 20/03/2022 22:20

Yes, my dad's best friend. He was mid 20s, went to London for what was supposed to be a day trip and never returned. His bank account remained untouched, he left all his belongings behind. 40 years later and no one has ever heard from him nor has there been any sightings of him.

Original poster
FuckThatBullshit · 20/03/2022 22:20

@Meidid

You obviously don't to answer this, but do those who love you know that you are still alive?

No they don't.

There isn't a way that I could let them know and still be safe unfortunately.

I compartmentalise my old and new lives, and they have to be just a sad story from my past now.

Its hard because it was a long time ago and when I see people online who still think of old me it hurts.

Even if I felt I would be safe now I wouldn't know where to begin with telling them.

The loss of some people I love was the price I paid for my life I suppose.

I'm not judging because I don't know what you've been through, but isn't there any way you could let them know you're safe? A one off letter with your handwriting perhaps? Posted from a far away location so they don't know where you are? X
OP posts:
BlackbirdSingingDeadofNight · 20/03/2022 22:22

A relative of OH did this. She had four children and just disappeared never to be heard of again. Very very sad for her children .
Someone else I knew jumped off a boat going to the Hebrides . He left a suicide note for the family.

Nightdancer · 20/03/2022 22:24

@Meidid I'm so sorry for being so intrusive, I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry that this happened to you and I hope you have an amazing life.

leavingtime · 20/03/2022 22:26

A friend of one of my relatives disappeared leaving his car by the side of the road with everything in it. He was also the boss of the relative, leaving him without a job. It was a mess. No note left, nothing.

The chap who went missing had been married for about 13 years and they were a popular couple who did a lot in the church. I had seen him on a couple of occasions and he was heavily bearded, hardly spoke but his wife was vibrant.

About 6 months later some postcards were sent from Europe to his parents saying he was ok and not to worry. The marriage was dissolved after he'd been gone for 7 years I think it was. He never came back as far as I know and that was 35 years ago.

Meidid · 20/03/2022 22:27

[quote Gilead]**@Meidid* I moved a long way to escape abuse. I know (and love) that feeling of freed. I NEVER* share Facebook posts about missing people, simply because nobody knows if it’s an abuser hunting down someone.[/quote]
When I left social media wasn't really a massive thing (it was in the days of Bebo)

I'm not on social media at all, but I have seen a few posts over the years asking for information about me from my abusers.

It scares me to think some well meaning person could share something and I could be found. I really think FB should stop that for missing people and adoptees.

I'm so glad you're now safe too Flowers

Pluvia · 20/03/2022 22:27

Member of the extended family. Only child of older parents. They died when he was in his 30s and he inherited their home and a significant amount of money. He'd always been a loner, someone who did a lot of wilderness camping and long distance trekking. He sold everything up and went to Australia, where we have other family, more than 20 years ago.

He was working in Brisbane and the family are based in Melbourne and Adelaide, so they didn't see much of each other and within a few years they'd lost track of him. About ten years ago I was executing the will for an elderly relative who had left him £10k. As executor I tried to track him down, contacting his last-known employer and even the police, but there was no record of him. I was out there visiting in 2017-2018 and managed to find a couple of people who'd known him. She said he'd gone to the US with the plan to walk a couple of the famous long-distance wilderness walks and she hadn't heard anything since.

It's difficult to know what to do. I was talking about him with a couple of cousins recently. They want to know what happened but no one really knows where to start.

trevthecat · 20/03/2022 22:28

A friend of mine has been missing for just over 6 years. He was on a night out with friends, went off on his own and was never seen again. It's so sad, wish a body would be found so the family can have answers

Fluffytheevil1 · 20/03/2022 22:32

Yes, They were missing for 2 months. Just vanished with no trace at all, they were last seen in a local beauty spot. Family were out daily looking for this person, appealing for info, but nothing. They’d fallen, but weren’t found straight away. Its been a long time but it’s still so sad.

TheMooch · 20/03/2022 22:33

Yes
My cousin went missing. Pretended he was going to work as normal to his wife and baby. He was found 3 weeks later dead, suicide.

I worked with someone whose father went on a business trip and never came home. Years later my colleague's mother was still trying to get him declared as dead to sort out her financial situation, she couldn't sell the house, close their business accounts etc.. it was in limbo for years. My colleague said if their dad happened to be alive and reappeared that they'd get the full story then never have anything to do with them again because their childhood and their mother had been destroyed.

delilabell · 20/03/2022 22:33

My friend and her son disappeared. I found them on s.m the other end of the country weeks later. The next time she disappeared it was because the police had to move her due to her own safety as she was involved in a prosecution. She recently got back intouch with me over 12 tears later.

Swipe left for the next trending thread