Yes, if peace talks were on the table, having watched Putin for 15 years I would dismiss them.
Get Russia back to the border then tell him the terms - and warn your allies. Who have been warned, but dismissed it. The countries bordering Russia knew and warned the complacent West. We didn't listen, and we sold out to the oligarchs.
Yes, if my adult sons went to war I would respect their decision, as any parent should respect the free will of their children. Anything else is controlling another adult's free will and it would be my problem were they killed. I don't have the right to dictate their choice and I would respect that they have something they truly felt was worth taking extreme risk for.
If I was younger I would go myself. Because when the shit really hits the fan you have to decide what you will stand for, and what you will risk dying for.
If you haven't had to face that then you need to consider what it is like to live where you have to guard your words, what it is like to walk down the street and not meet others' eyes, and you have to consider that when the Berlin Wall was in danger of falling, that massive crowds of people were willing to be shot in their stand for freedom-of-speech.
They got betrayed by the West badly but there is a fundamental need in people to be able to speak freely.
I have compassion but not all that much patience for people who shout for peace because they are scared. Life isn't safe. If you thought it was, you've been cushioned and if you're lucky you'll reach the end of it safely, but it really is not what is 'normal'. Look at history.