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Original poster

She took my bloody co-op card

627 replies

HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 01:18

I’ve had a friend staying with me for the last few days, she due to go home tomorrow. As a thank you for letting her stay she offered to cook us a meal this evening which I gratefully accepted. She needed to go up to Co-Op to get the ingredients so I said to her to take my membership card if she hasn’t got one.

She went up and bought all the ingredients and cooked a really lovely meal. We had a bottle of wine with the meal but fancied another so I popped up to Co-Op again to buy another. I scan my member card like always and she’s spent all my points! There was about £30 on there that I have saved up for months. I like to know that I’ve always got a bit on there in case I’m short one month, it’s just a bit of reassurance.

If someone asked you to take their loyalty card to a shop when you had offered to cook them a meal would you assume that meant the person was offering to pay for the meal with their points? Or would you think they just wanted you to scan their card at checkout so you have a few more points?

Apologies if I’m rambling but it’s 1am, I’ve drunk a bottle of wine and I’m disproportionately pissed off that she’s spent my points!

OP posts:
Silvershroud · 10/03/2022 07:42

I've noticed a few times the person on the till says, 'you have x pounds on your card, do you want to use them'? It is the way their scheme works. Your friend may have assumed that was what you wanted to do.

Whydidimarryhim · 10/03/2022 07:48

No I think she knew what she was doing - she was going to treat you as you let her stay. CF - you do need to challenge her on this.

Wiredforsound · 10/03/2022 07:49

I think it does sound like you offered to pay. It’s what I would probably have assumed if you’d said, ‘Here, take my card’. If you’d wanted her to collect the points for you you should have said, ‘can you collect the points on my card?’ It must be really annoying, but you know your friend and probably have a good idea if this was deliberate or not.

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Lalliella · 10/03/2022 07:51

I would have assumed you’d meant collect the points but I can see how she might have misunderstood. She should’ve asked you to clarify though or said - oh no I’ll pay. Chalk it up to experience OP.

PeakyBlender · 10/03/2022 07:51

I'd think you were offering to pay, but I would have refused your card so it wouldn't have been an issue.

Butchyrestingface · 10/03/2022 07:54

Sorry but unless she’s entirely clueless she knew full well what “ would you like to spend your points” means.

I don't use loyalty cards and I must fall into the entirely clueless camp because I don't really understand what the OP wanted to happen when she asked her friend to take her membership card. Was it so that the friend paid for OP's meal AND OP got the benefit of more points being loaded onto her card? Confused

Happy to be schooled, told I'm stupid, etc, etc. And obviously I'd be mortified if I'd done something that was. seen as CF-ery. But I can easily see how this situation came about and I'd be inclined to put it down to a misunderstanding.

Podgedodge · 10/03/2022 07:55

So what did your friend say when you spoke to her about it?

Hankunamatata · 10/03/2022 07:56

I'd send a message and play dumb
'hey all my points have gone from my co op card, bit of panic my emergency food money, did the shop take them by mistake?'

Overthinking22 · 10/03/2022 07:57

Can you bring it up casually in conversation as you're saying goodbye and all the pleasantries "you're welcome, thanks for treating us to dinner" sort of thing.

Darbs76 · 10/03/2022 07:57

Do you think she misunderstood when you said take my card? Maybe she assumed you meant to use the points. Otherwise extremely cheeky

Cuck00soup · 10/03/2022 07:58

That’s a lot of money spent in the co-op.

It could be a misunderstanding. I’ve told MIL to spend my nectar points before when she’s doing me a favour, so I can see how it would happen.

EarringsandLipstick · 10/03/2022 07:59

So what did your friend say when you spoke to her about it?

This.

I know it's a MN cliche but really, this is the only logical action here, not posting here.

'Hey Friend, all my Co-op points have been used. Did you mean to use them to pay for the meal?'

Then following her response, you explain the situation about keeping the points etc

Happylittlethoughts · 10/03/2022 08:00

I think it was too unclear what you wanted her to do with the card.
Hmmm not sure you have any come back on this one. Painful but lesson learned.

inkyfingers · 10/03/2022 08:00

Why give her your card? If she was paying, you would actually get her points on your card.

gracewitt · 10/03/2022 08:01

Feeling your irritation OP and I would feel the same.

Guess your friend set off to the shop expecting to pay for all the ingredients herself, and that was her intention.

And, also guess she wasn't aware that there was so much money on the card, so in accepting the cashier's offer to take money off she wouldn't necessarily know whether that would be 15p or £30.

As a PP said, you know your friend better than any of us here, and how best to respond. Glad you had a lovely meal - you may have to leave it at that.

saraclara · 10/03/2022 08:01

I don't understand why you gave her the card in the first place. You say she was going to pay for the shopping, yet it seems you felt entitled to the points? I wouldn't dream of giving my Tesco Clubcard to someone who was spending their own money at Tesco.

It seems that your greed for points that you were not entitled to has come home to roost. I can absolutely see that she would assume that you were offering to pay towards it with the points on your card. Because claiming the points for her spend would be weird.

Inastatus · 10/03/2022 08:01

That’s not on OP. I’d be pissed off too. I hope you can resolve it with your friend.

Lovemusic33 · 10/03/2022 08:04

I think she just misunderstood what you meant when you said “take my coop card” ,maybe she thought you meant she could use your points? You didn’t specifically say “take my card to collect the points”?

I would just put it down to a misunderstanding rather than her steeling from you.

Inastatus · 10/03/2022 08:06

@saraclara

I don't understand why you gave her the card in the first place. You say she was going to pay for the shopping, yet it seems you felt entitled to the points? I wouldn't dream of giving my Tesco Clubcard to someone who was spending their own money at Tesco.

It seems that your greed for points that you were not entitled to has come home to roost. I can absolutely see that she would assume that you were offering to pay towards it with the points on your card. Because claiming the points for her spend would be weird.

Oh FGS it’s not weird or greedy to do this! I’ve been with friends in supermarkets before where I’ve been through checkout first with my loyalty card then they’ve gone through after without one and the cashier has offered to put their points on my card. It’s no skin off their nose.
Butchyrestingface · 10/03/2022 08:07

@saraclara

I don't understand why you gave her the card in the first place. You say she was going to pay for the shopping, yet it seems you felt entitled to the points? I wouldn't dream of giving my Tesco Clubcard to someone who was spending their own money at Tesco.

It seems that your greed for points that you were not entitled to has come home to roost. I can absolutely see that she would assume that you were offering to pay towards it with the points on your card. Because claiming the points for her spend would be weird.

This is what I was thinking but as I don't use loyalty cards, wasn't sure I had the wrong end of the stick.

If I had offered to cook a meal as thanks for a friend for putting me up, I would not accept the loyalty card if I (erroneously) believed they wanted to pay for the ingredients. It would be MY treat.

But EQUALLY, if I had someone staying with me who offered to cook a meal as thanks, I can't imagine a scenario in which I felt entitled to say, here, take my loyalty card so that the points from YOUR spend go on MY card. It doesn't even sound from the OP like that was floated as a polite request.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 10/03/2022 08:09

at least you enjoyed the food

cantbecoping · 10/03/2022 08:09

Nope, she misunderstood, you offered her the card, she probably thought you meant "oh here use the points on this to pay". I would never hand someone my card and ask them to put points on it for me if they were spending their own money!! That was a scabby thing to do so it has bitten you in the butt.

ImInStealthMode · 10/03/2022 08:10

I'd genuinely think she misunderstood your intention rather than wilfully stole. I've had it happen with a round of drinks in a bar with my loyalty card, exact same thing.

I wrote it off as wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been a CF trying to swipe the points from someone else's round.

Unless you were explicit in 'please swipe my card when you pay so I get the loyalty points' I don't think you can get worked up about it, annoying as it is.

TabithaTittlemouse · 10/03/2022 08:11

I wouldn’t know how to use a co-op card either so I would let her off. It’s a misunderstanding.

What on earth did she make that cost £30 though?

BalloonSlayer · 10/03/2022 08:12

The people in our co - op say "you've got xx points on your card, would you like a free shop today?"

If they said that to her she may have thought that it was a prize thing, like M and S do?