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Original poster

She took my bloody co-op card

627 replies

HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 01:18

I’ve had a friend staying with me for the last few days, she due to go home tomorrow. As a thank you for letting her stay she offered to cook us a meal this evening which I gratefully accepted. She needed to go up to Co-Op to get the ingredients so I said to her to take my membership card if she hasn’t got one.

She went up and bought all the ingredients and cooked a really lovely meal. We had a bottle of wine with the meal but fancied another so I popped up to Co-Op again to buy another. I scan my member card like always and she’s spent all my points! There was about £30 on there that I have saved up for months. I like to know that I’ve always got a bit on there in case I’m short one month, it’s just a bit of reassurance.

If someone asked you to take their loyalty card to a shop when you had offered to cook them a meal would you assume that meant the person was offering to pay for the meal with their points? Or would you think they just wanted you to scan their card at checkout so you have a few more points?

Apologies if I’m rambling but it’s 1am, I’ve drunk a bottle of wine and I’m disproportionately pissed off that she’s spent my points!

OP posts:
FlippyFloppyFlappy · 10/03/2022 08:13

The whole thing is making me cringe. I'd probably write it off hoping she had misunderstood what I meant by "use the card" 🥴

Erictheavocado · 10/03/2022 08:13

Next time I stay with anyone I'm going to let them pay for the meal/wine/flowers I would get them as a thank you for their hospitality!

Basically OP has hosted ger friend, paid not only for the 'thank you' meal, but has also paid the fuel cost of cooking it. I find it really hard to believe that anyone with half a brain cell would think that was what op was expecting when she gave the friend her Co-op card.
OP, it would sour the friendship for me.

EveningOverRooftops · 10/03/2022 08:14

@stuntbubbles

To be so keen on points that you give your card to someone else to collect for you is not a normal thing to do, Is it? Everyone I know does this – points are free money, really, why waste that?
It absolutely is normal. My ex (still good friends with him) was between houses so no fixed address for the vouchers for years and he had my Tesco keyring card and happily swiped it for me to gain a lot of extra points that wouldn’t have otherwise been used.

Once he got a new GF obviously that stopped. But I still left my friend snag my points if I’m in Morrisons as I don’t shop there often enough to have a card and she gives me her coop points.

We also save vouchers for each other that come through the post. We had subway ones a few months ago and I don’t eat there but her teens do so I gave them to them.

It’s one of those things friends do to help each other out

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ISpyCobraKai · 10/03/2022 08:14

@TabithaTittlemouse

I wouldn’t know how to use a co-op card either so I would let her off. It’s a misunderstanding.

What on earth did she make that cost £30 though?

Steak, nice sides, dessert and wine for example could easily cost that. Beans on toast still probably cost that at CoOp less likely.
THisbackwithavengeance · 10/03/2022 08:15

I don't think the OP was being greedy for wanting her friend to use her co-op card to get points as long as the friend herself didn't have her own co-op card. The points are there to be taken and there would've been no cost or effort to the friend in doing so.

However, I once accidentally spent all our Sainsburys points when using a self service till, obviously pressed the wrong button, and it was too late to change it once done. I suppose that could be a possibility here?

If not, friend is a CF though. Do you intend to say something OP?

EveningOverRooftops · 10/03/2022 08:16

@THisbackwithavengeance

I don't think the OP was being greedy for wanting her friend to use her co-op card to get points as long as the friend herself didn't have her own co-op card. The points are there to be taken and there would've been no cost or effort to the friend in doing so.

However, I once accidentally spent all our Sainsburys points when using a self service till, obviously pressed the wrong button, and it was too late to change it once done. I suppose that could be a possibility here?

If not, friend is a CF though. Do you intend to say something OP?

No. Coop ask you if you want to spend the points. I save mine like the op too for rainy day needs.
rookiemere · 10/03/2022 08:18

Seems like a totally innocent mistake.
Just ask her but phrase it like your mistake " friend have noticed my Coop points that I keep for emergencies have all gone. This is totally my fault and super embarrassing but I must have communicated the wrong thing as I wanted to get the points from your shopping. Would it be ok for you to transfer what you spent back to me ? "

Cocomarine · 10/03/2022 08:31

There is the tiniest chance that she thought you were offering to pay. Sooooooo tiny.
In the face of ambiguity (though it barely is) think to your history with her.
Did she, for example, just eat from your cupboards for the few days, or did she arrive with something?
That she spent the entire £30 is interesting. Would the meal have cost that? It easily could, but it could also easily be less. You may be able to work out that she’s pocketed other food / alcohol bought too. Which would take away that tiny ambiguity.

Think about her behaviour over time, and be honest with yourself. I expect you’ll start to remember things like halves on a meal out when you’ve had much less. I can’t imagine she hasn’t got some form.

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 10/03/2022 08:34

It seems to me that you were quite happy for her to accrue points on your card on her groceries spend? Such a trifling number of points would have been earned that it was really OTT to even consider giving it to her in the first place. Yes, I do believe she thought you were giving her the points card to pay for the food (particularly when she discovered enough money on it to pay for what she was buying!). So just a mistake rather than a 'goady' fraud on her part!

Gonnagetgoing · 10/03/2022 08:34

Check with her first

greenlynx · 10/03/2022 08:34

I would assume that I’m taking your card in case of special offers/promotions like in Tesco. However there is a slight chance that she misunderstood.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 10/03/2022 08:34

Cf

TillyTopper · 10/03/2022 08:34

May be she misunderstood and though you were saying that she could spent the points when you said "take my card". But honestly I'd have only added points not spent them - that's very cheeky imo.

MaudieandMe · 10/03/2022 08:35

Surely you’re not going to let this go?
You need to ask for the money back and ask her why she spent your saved points.

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 10/03/2022 08:36

I'm not really sure you can ask for the money back either. You clearly didn't communicate effectively when you handed over the points card. Notch it up to experience and move on. In the scheme of things is £30 worth losing a friendship over? And she did make you all a nice meal!

shrunkenhead · 10/03/2022 08:37

A PP said "you'd have to be living a v sheltered life to not understand how loyalty cards work" but they are all different. Tesco sends out vouchers, no idea what Sains does as don't shop there etc etc.
I've lived a v sheltered life and don't always understand how life works (think rural community and not always au fait with current trends) in the real world. I can see how this could happen, friend could've felt a bit stressed at the till with questions about a card/shop she wasn't familiar with and just said yes/ok not realising what she had done. Said friend might be equally embarrassed at her faux pas if she's realised. OR she may have thought her gift to you was the preparing and cooking of said meal rather than the paying as you had said "here take my card".... crossed wires, I think.

Cocomarine · 10/03/2022 08:37

@NewModelArmyMayhem18

It seems to me that you were quite happy for her to accrue points on your card on her groceries spend? Such a trifling number of points would have been earned that it was really OTT to even consider giving it to her in the first place. Yes, I do believe she thought you were giving her the points card to pay for the food (particularly when she discovered enough money on it to pay for what she was buying!). So just a mistake rather than a 'goady' fraud on her part!
Well lucky for you that you don’t need the “trifling” amount 🙄 OP had £30 built up from these “trifling” amounts.
HollowTalk · 10/03/2022 08:42

I think you should just say, you know when I said take my co-op card, I didn't mean use my points. I've spent £30 of my money on there. And then just say nothing and eyeball her!

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 10/03/2022 08:45

We are not rich by any means but a few points lost in a small(ish) groceries shop really doesn't make much of a difference. I spent £122 on an online shop a week or so ago. I got 121 points which equates to about 60p. So probably 15p would have been 'lost' as points on the spend.

I do know 'every little counts' but it clearly wasn't worth considering, given the outcome (15p down vs £30 down - hmmm).

ilovesushi · 10/03/2022 08:45

That is so bloody rude!!!!!!!!

NewModelArmyMayhem18 · 10/03/2022 08:46

There is so much snarkiness that is unnecessary on MN.

katepilar · 10/03/2022 08:52

Does she understand how that card works?

I think she misunderstood what you ment by take my coop card.

I also think it weird to tell someone to take the card to collect points for their shopping without explicitedly telling them so.

drawingpad · 10/03/2022 08:53

Someone would have to be living a VERY sheltered life to not understand rewards points!

My life has not been sheltered but I don't understand these things, I just don't use them. It's information I don't need so I avoid. I could easily have done that happened here so I would say it definitely could be a simple misunderstanding.

MMMarmite · 10/03/2022 08:56

Maybe she misunderstood - you said "take my card", she thought that meant "I want to pay for it, use this card".

Either that or she's a horrible thief, but seems unlikely given that presumably she was a good friend previously.

Alwayswonderedwhy · 10/03/2022 08:59

Sounds like she misinterpreted what you meant but for the sake of £30 I'd let it go unless you're desperate for the money.

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