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Original poster

She took my bloody co-op card

627 replies

HollowedOut · 10/03/2022 01:18

I’ve had a friend staying with me for the last few days, she due to go home tomorrow. As a thank you for letting her stay she offered to cook us a meal this evening which I gratefully accepted. She needed to go up to Co-Op to get the ingredients so I said to her to take my membership card if she hasn’t got one.

She went up and bought all the ingredients and cooked a really lovely meal. We had a bottle of wine with the meal but fancied another so I popped up to Co-Op again to buy another. I scan my member card like always and she’s spent all my points! There was about £30 on there that I have saved up for months. I like to know that I’ve always got a bit on there in case I’m short one month, it’s just a bit of reassurance.

If someone asked you to take their loyalty card to a shop when you had offered to cook them a meal would you assume that meant the person was offering to pay for the meal with their points? Or would you think they just wanted you to scan their card at checkout so you have a few more points?

Apologies if I’m rambling but it’s 1am, I’ve drunk a bottle of wine and I’m disproportionately pissed off that she’s spent my points!

OP posts:
YupNameChangeAgain · 11/03/2022 20:39

There is nothing wrong with asking people for their points if they don’t have a card
It isn’t as if they koose out in any way

evian76 · 11/03/2022 20:42

I actually genuinely think she may have thought you were offering but obviously her response should have been ‘don’t be ridiculous I’m paying, you are putting me up!’ So I think it was a mistake but she’s super rude/tight not to treat you out of her pocket x

Jewel52 · 11/03/2022 20:44

I think she could’ve misunderstood. I wouldn’t give somebody a loyalty card if they happened to be shopping where I normally shop just so I’d get the points. That comes across as a bit tight to me. She cooked, you had a lovely evening and chalk the rest up to experience

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General shopping
OutIsay · 11/03/2022 20:51

I would have assumed that it was a bit like Tesco and you got stuff for cheaper with a loyalty card and that was why you were offering me your card. I would never spend someone else's points.

Sswhinesthebest · 11/03/2022 20:54

It’s not cheeky so ask her to use the card but I do see why the misunderstanding happened when you sad to use yours.

It is a bit off to not reimburse you though.

It’s only the cost of a meal out though so is it important enough to lose a friend over? Maybe she didn’t think the value was high enough to worry about. I suppose it depends on if she knows how important that money was to you through.

HighDudgeonAtBerks · 11/03/2022 20:55

Just send her a message saying “Hope you hot home safely, it was lovely to see you! No need to feel embarrassed about spending my emergency £30! Here’re my bank details. Looking forward to catching up again sometime soon”

If she pays, then you can make a decision about the friendship, if she doesn’t, then you have your answer. No need to ask. Just assume instead Grin

Jaxxy · 11/03/2022 20:56

I thinks it’s a misunderstanding. She has taken your comment of ‘take my loyalty card’ as you saying, use my credit towards your bill.

I mean, I wouldn’t assume that, but I think she’s just misunderstood and maybe money is tight.

FrenchNameChange · 11/03/2022 21:23

You could just send her a text. 'Hey, so lovely to see youand thank you for cooking such a great dinner last night. This is a little embarrassing for me, but money is quite tight at the moment and I can't really afford the £30 you spent on my co op card last night. I had planned to spend that on next week's shopping. If you could transfer it back to me I'd really appreciate it.... or 'maybe we could go halves? Here are my bank details....'

If you really need the money, I'd ask. It was a misunderstanding and you can put it right if you want to. X

FrenchNameChange · 11/03/2022 21:24

You could add. 'When I gave you my card, I just meant to scan for the points and I'm sorry if that wasn't clear'

Jack80 · 11/03/2022 21:31

I don’t know much about Co-Op cards so I would have thought it maybe be like the Tesco Clubcard where you get money off for using it not like the Boots Advantage card so I wouldn’t know to spend points. If she knows about it that’s dishonest. I would speak to her face to face if still there or over the phone/text if not either way she owes you money.

TheArtfulBlogger · 11/03/2022 21:59

@Jaxxy

I thinks it’s a misunderstanding. She has taken your comment of ‘take my loyalty card’ as you saying, use my credit towards your bill.

I mean, I wouldn’t assume that, but I think she’s just misunderstood and maybe money is tight.

Then why didnt she say this when the OP asked her about it?

Why say "oh I thought the Co-op had made a mistake"?

Surely the normal thing to say would be "but you told me to use your card"

TheJade · 11/03/2022 22:12

I would think it was to collect points rather than spend them. Oh dear 😅

Harmonypuss · 11/03/2022 22:14

I do think the OP was being a bit of a cf themselves by expecting to gain the loyalty points as well as a free meal but as @Weatherwax13 said

£30 isn't mere pocket change for everyone.

to me, that's 2 weeks' worth of groceries.

I'd be saying that the card was offered for any available discounts and points, not for payment of the shopping bill.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 11/03/2022 22:18

It's not cheeky to collect points that would've gone unused 🤦🏽‍♀️
OP checked that the friend didn't have her own loyalty card first so she knew those points would have been unclaimed otherwise..what is everyone's issue?

OP have you spoken to her since she left?

Original poster
HollowedOut · 11/03/2022 22:22

@Harmonypuss why was I being a cf for asking her to swipe my card? I’m not taking anything extra from her and I’d put her up and fed her for 4 days. A “free” meal (which I was expected to clean up afterwards) and the effort of scanning a loyalty card isn’t really an outrageous expectation is it? Especially when she told me she wanted to cook me a meal to say thank you.

OP posts:
Harmonypuss · 11/03/2022 22:40

If someone else is paying, unless I was in the store with them and they said it was OK for me to have the loyalty points, I wouldn't dream of "expecting" them to give me this points, that to me is cfery, regardless of what I may or may not have done for them in preceding days.
If someone cooks for me, I expect to do the washing up.
But if someone "steals" my loyalty points, I tell them they owe me for them!

toxic44 · 11/03/2022 22:51

Maybe the cashier asked if she wanted to use the points. Even so, it's a bit sharp practice.

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/03/2022 22:52

As I said above, I work as a till monkey (my words) for Co-Op.

In order to use points on a manned till (we dont have self scan in our store) the person presents their card, then they say that they would like to use their credit towards their total, then we press the E-Dividend button, then we have to input the amount that they would like to redeem, THEN we press Subtotal then we cash it off.

There is absolutely no way that this was done by accident or by the friend not knowing what was being done. As a PP said, why not say "Oh, i thought you meant I could use your loyalty points" and when it was clear that she couldnt, she didnt offer to repay.

As for "its cheeky to ask for the points on someone elses spend", I lost my boots card ages ago so when I go with my sister, we pay seperately but I use her Advantage card so she gets the points, why wouldnt I? If I forget, she reminds me. The points are not paid to someone else, they are simply lost.

MrPenguinsPoppers · 11/03/2022 23:06

@PyongyangKipperbang

As I said above, I work as a till monkey (my words) for Co-Op.

In order to use points on a manned till (we dont have self scan in our store) the person presents their card, then they say that they would like to use their credit towards their total, then we press the E-Dividend button, then we have to input the amount that they would like to redeem, THEN we press Subtotal then we cash it off.

There is absolutely no way that this was done by accident or by the friend not knowing what was being done. As a PP said, why not say "Oh, i thought you meant I could use your loyalty points" and when it was clear that she couldnt, she didnt offer to repay.

As for "its cheeky to ask for the points on someone elses spend", I lost my boots card ages ago so when I go with my sister, we pay seperately but I use her Advantage card so she gets the points, why wouldnt I? If I forget, she reminds me. The points are not paid to someone else, they are simply lost.

As I said above when I worked there pre COVID we were told by supervisors to ask customers who had amassed points if they wanted to use them so if we saw reasonable credits on the card we were told to ask the question.

I agree, it’s not at all accidental and the procedure to redeem them is made clear enough. From vague memory the receipt reflected it too. We didn’t have self serve either so unsure how that worked. I didn’t stay long enough, the ram raids and machete wielding robberies really put me off retail 😂

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 11/03/2022 23:12

I can't believe people are still wanging on about it being an "innocent mistake/misunderstanding" - the OP's friend has already made it clear that it was neither of those things by her deflection that she "thought the Co-op had made a mistake" when she was only charged £7 for the £37 shop!
IF she had thought the OP meant her to use the points, that would not have come up - she would have said "but I thought that's why you gave me the card, to help with the cost?"
She didn't do that.
She pretended innocence.

She's a liar and a thief.

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/03/2022 23:14

@MrPenguinsPoppers we can't see their totals unless they are asked for, so yes I guess things have changed! It doesnt come up on the till at all what their points are, what they have to spend etc, it just asks "Does the customer have a members card?" if you go to cash off before scanning one, thats it.

PyongyangKipperbang · 11/03/2022 23:16

if they want to spend their points then they have to tell me "I think I have £30 on my card, can you use that towards my shopping please?" we literally have no idea without actively searching for it. Again though, we dont have self scan in our store so I dont know how that works.

Agapornis · 11/03/2022 23:49

Self-scan at Co-op makes it abundantly clear you're spending credit. No way that was done accidentally.

ResurrectionInfinity · 12/03/2022 07:01

I hope you get your money back.
I think CF for wanting your guest to scan your card is harsh in the circumstances. However, most people saying the points would be wasted otherwise, like rotting fruit, wouldn’t just go into someone else’s garden and collect the apples from under their tree. But even that analogy is wrong because to the rightful owner - the Coop - they aren’t going to waste: they’re legitimate profit.
I would have collected the points, but to me it’s a highly unusual request and it would have raised alarm bells about what else I might be expected to do. Now that I’ve thought about it, maybe I would refuse.

YupNameChangeAgain · 12/03/2022 07:10

Am dying to know your friends reply

Please tell us you asked her for money back
She must know she was wrong