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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

To older mumsnetters what lessons have you learned in life ?

173 replies

LovelyYellowLabrador · 09/03/2022 21:26

I’m
Thinking do you wish you worked harder ?
Less hard ?
Worried less ? Worried more ?
What where your wrong moves and right moves ?
What do you wish you knew when you were younger ?

OP posts:
Maverick66 · 12/03/2022 22:58

You are never as fat as you think you are.
Worrying is a waste of energy.
Everything works out in the end.
When going through stress repeat the mantra 'This too shall pass'

TheFnozwhowasmirage · 12/03/2022 23:08

It's taken me far too long to realise that it doesn't matter if people don't like me.

MondeoFan · 12/03/2022 23:15

Think about your pension. Pension is very important.

Howmanysleepsnow · 12/03/2022 23:48

Don’t measure success by achievements, measure by the lives you’ve touched.

Do something nice for yourself every day.

Notice the little things.

goingback · 12/03/2022 23:52

don't be a people pleaser, a facilitator or enabler in relationships- turns out i was not really a friend/lover/partner, just the PA/driver/landlady/etc.

life passes quickly so do what makes you happy

money isn't everything but is important.

material shit is just that- shit, the logo on your clothes means nothing

newfriend05 · 12/03/2022 23:57

The big things you have very little control over ..
People do not change ..patterns of behaviour do not lie
You're responsible for your own happiness and the choices you make

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 13/03/2022 00:07

Comfy shoes. Life is too short for sore feet.

Start thinking about your pension as soon as.

Save what you can.

Have the best bed you can afford.

You don’t have to drink to enjoy yourself.

And if there is a dish a loved one makes that is a favourite - get the recipe. There are so many of my nan’s that I’ve never been able to recreate.

caringcarer · 13/03/2022 00:44

Appreciate the time you spend with your parents. You won't have them in your life forever.

Be nice to your siblings. Once your parents are gone, they are the only ones who have shared experiences of your childhood and remember what you were like as a child. What your early dreams were.

Marry for love and if you fall out of love then move on, you really won't fall back in love with same person.

Spend time having fun with your children. Make sure you are in their happy childhood memories once they grow up.

Understand some things are just way beyond your control and don't lose sleep over them. Focus on stuff you can control and improve.

Sort a pension on first day of work. Keep paying into it even if money is tight.

Value your health and try to fit sensible eating and excercise into your week.

Reach out to others emotionally, family, friends, colleagues. We all need others to thrive. No one wants to end up old and alone.

Learn to budget and live within your means. Don't run up debts.

Don't spend endless additional hours at work. When you are old no one looks back and wishes they had spent more time at work.

Work at your marriage, don't take your spouse for granted.

goldengrove · 13/03/2022 01:20

What a great thread, so much distilled wisdom here.

'Si la jeunesse savait, si la vieillesse pouvait'.

Could this thread go in Classics?

Destinyforthetaking22 · 13/03/2022 08:36

Educate yourself. Read and take an interest in the world and how it’s really run.
Lay off social media and live in the real world.
Always be able to be financially self sufficient. Never rely on anyone else for this.
Travel the world again and again.
Have people in your life who make you laugh and don’t zap your energy.
Nothing matters more than the your health and that of your loved ones.

MargotMoo · 14/03/2022 10:30

Living in line with your values is the key to happiness - you will feel out of kilter if you don’t. It took me too long to realise this.

And definitely get a dog.

goldengrove · 14/03/2022 10:42

Or a 🐱!

StartupRepair · 14/03/2022 10:44

Drink less alcohol. It will make you feel happier and healthier and you will remember important conversations the next day.

StartupRepair · 14/03/2022 10:49

Don't wait around for a man who sees you as a friend.

AwayInMyMind · 14/03/2022 11:17

Maintain your career, even after having children.
Make time to nurture your friendships.
Learn what abuse is and don't put up with it.
Have a emergency/running away fund.
Silence is an answer.
You matter.

ancientgran · 14/03/2022 11:20

Will it matter in 2/5/10/20 years? If it won't don't worry, not worth it.

UpcycledToenail · 14/03/2022 11:33

What a lovely thread. Here are mine

  1. Some Christians can be dreadful people and do terrible things. Despite that, Christianity really works and God is good.
  2. Never take good health, mental health, or mobility for granted.
  3. Don't let people take advantage of you at work or in relationships.
  4. Being disabled can make it impossible to be as independent as you'd like, but do try not to depend financially too much on others.
  5. Start trying for a family ASAP. You don't know how long it might take or what challenges might arise.
Hen2018 · 14/03/2022 11:33

No one is bothered what you’re wearing or what you look like. They’re much more interested in themselves.

Don’t be nice.

Sleep with as many people as possible before your joints ache!

WouldBeGood · 14/03/2022 11:34

Set boundaries, keep fit, have lots of sex

Hen2018 · 14/03/2022 11:36

God doesn’t exist.

Overpay your mortgage. Even £20 a month saves you thousands overall.

WouldBeGood · 14/03/2022 11:38

@Hen2018 🤣 cross post

Bollindger · 14/03/2022 11:41

You were not fat.
Wait till you get older and you won't be able to wear the clothing you liked .
Regretting doing something is better than doing nothing

LovelyYellowLabrador · 20/03/2022 19:19

Wow hasn’t taken me ages to get though this as I’ve read a little bit everyone before bed and it’s been so calm, what wonderful advice
I’ve even share this thread with friends it’s so good
Thankyou for all the pearls of wisdom

OP posts:
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