To older mumsnetters what lessons have you learned in life ?

[LovelyYellowLabrador]

I’m
Thinking do you wish you worked harder ?
Less hard ?
Worried less ? Worried more ?
What where your wrong moves and right moves ?
What do you wish you knew when you were younger ?

Not to care about what other people think of me.

@ApolloandDaphne

Be nice.

Fuck that shit. #BeKind means that younger feminists aren't using their critical thinking skills yet.

Life is short. You never know what might be heading your way so seize every opportunity, do stuff that makes you happy and don't sweat the small stuff.

Dont be afraid to be different.
Believe in yourself.
Dont be a people pleaser.
You only get one life... and it only lasts a blink of an eyelid.. dont waste time.

So much of what's been said.

Always retain the option of earning your own money. I sauntered away from a shit career when I became a mother. I could have made something of it eventually, but I chose not to. I'm married to a good 'un but my goodness I wish I'd maintained my earning power: professionally I'm a complete failure.

Children need endless love, endless patience; they deserve it. Ditch the control freakery, it serves no one.

I'm not sure I'm old enough to qualify. 30s.
But I wish I had appreciated my school friends more, asked for forgiveness and apologised where it was due instead of being stubborn. Because I miss them and they were so valuable, I had no idea.

RedPinkRose

I've screen shot the end of your post about the new bark growing back slowly - thank you

This thread reminds me of this superb song. m.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

@Grotbag81

*RedPinkRose*

I've screen shot the end of your post about the new bark growing back slowly - thank you

😊

Have a regular savings account asap.
Pay off the mortgage more quickly if you can.
Be present with your loved ones (put away the phone)
Find a partner who loves you just the way you are.

Stop buying stuff

Quality over quantity

Keep learning throughout your life
A pension is crucial. Worrying about finances in old age is horrendous
Buy a property & pay off the mortgage before you retire
Experience as much of life and the world as you can. Don’t stay in one little corner of the planet & stagnate

Wear sunscreen

Oh blimey...
I'm not sure what I've learned works for everyone; it only works for me.

Sex is really, really important. Only be with someone if they rock your world in bed.

You don't relax to have an orgasm, you get aroused and tense.

Always treat a bedside urine bottle as if it's full.

You'll never regret installing a keysafe or a door chain.

You will probably regret wearing a bike helmet, but not as much as you'll regret not wearing one.

If you're a straight woman who's not very confident, try casual sex and sexting because you would be amazed how many men want to fuck you and how much they love your body.

Debt is unbelievably expensive.

You never feel poor in a library.

Happiness comes from within, not from someone else

And the job won't love you back.

Don't rely on other people to make you happy, be self reliant, be happy in your own company. Of course it's nice to have a partner, children, parents, siblings etc but no one is around forever and you alone are responsible for your own happiness.

Be financially astute, start a pension young.

I would advise women to look at a way to earn as much as they possibly can. I appreciate there will always be things you cannot control such as health that may prevent this but I've seen here and in real life so many women settling for a lesser job because its easy with the children only to reach mid life and be utterly shafted. I'm one of them and although I earn well now I won't make up lost pension. Its touch and go if I'll get a house.
My one friend is a TA her husband just got injured and can't work. They are screwed on her salary.
Another friend also a TA. Her husband became ill and she was the same boat. He's just passed away.

Don’t worry about what other people say, there will always be someone out to get you and you just gotta be you. I learnt that when I was about 15 and it’s been my mantra ever since. People should love you for you, don’t change for anyone.

@Angrymum22

What will be will be. No amount of forward planning prepares you for how your life pans out. I didn’t expect to lose both my parents when I was in my thirties ( they had us when they were early twenties so should have had another 30 years of life). I didn’t expect to have fertility problems. But I’m glad I did because I would never have had my wonderful son at forty. Marry for love, money will never sustain a marriage. Expect the unexpected. Enjoy the here and now. You don’t want to look back on a life of “we should have dones…” Emerge yourself in the moment rather than observing it through a phone screen while videoing it.

^^ this pretty much. Seize every moment. Recognise and appreciate joy when its happening. Love will bring pain so make sure the love is the real thing and worth it. Be sensible about money but not terrified of it. You are enough. You are entitled to be safe and loved and respected. oh and from Terry Pratchett "If you trust in yourself. . .and believe in your dreams. . .and follow your star. . . you'll still get beaten by people who spent their time working hard and learning things and weren't so lazy."

You don’t need a partner, and if you want one, choose very carefully. Set your stall out from day one

You’re not old (still trying to remember this one sometimes!)

Don't burn your bridges with your 'difficult' adult offspring, because being a grandparent is wonderful.

Life is partly about looking inward, and partly about looking outward: look inward to reflect and improve yourself/your character, learn to love and accept yourself; look outward to understand the world and enjoy the world, make good choices and live to the full. Find the balance so that you do both inward and outward.

@Dillydollydingdong yes! Choose carefully, don’t “ settle” as it will never work. Put as much effort into choosing as you can , especially if you want children.
Always have some money of your own
Find and nurture good close friends
Moisturise your neck
Don’t wear high heels everyday, you will get bunions and ruin your knees
Try and find a lifelong hobby or passion, you will always have something to find solace in.

Some of the above I’ve learnt the hard way! But my neck is pretty good for a 65 year old!

You can say no when it suits you. Don't be a doormat.

Worrying is pointless, so just don't do it.
Agree with pay off the mortgage as soon as you can. Plus don't use your money to just get a bigger/fancier house but spend it on hobbies & travel instead - on your deathbed you'll be glad you saw a bit of the world rather than obsessing about the latest wallpaper!
Enjoy the fact that getting older makes you invisible - nobodybgives a s**t about you, and that's fantastic.
Don't rely on other people to make you happy.
Even if you have partner/family/friens, make time to do things alone and enjoy your own company.
Don't have children just because society expects it, or you're related to people who are desperate to be grandparents - you have to really want kids for good reasons, and actually being childfree when you're older is a huge relief.

@Beancounter1 yes!
Cultivate “ nod and smile”