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Original poster

16 yo daughter has fake ID delivered!!!

139 replies

TryingmybestMum · 01/03/2022 12:11

A letter arrived for my daughter this morning, I know at 16 I should respect her privacy and not open it but I did (feeling conflicted) . No address on envelope and clearly a card inside and no letter. It’s a citizens card stating she is 2 years old than she is (I.e stating she is 18)! I looked on the citizen card site and this looks really passable and the qr code works!!! Im furious but not sure how to play this conversation. Also furious that she gets allowance each month (no job yet until after GCSE’s) and it looks like fake ID are relatively expensive (compared to her allowance). I want to calm down and have something of a remotely calm conversation when she gets in but would welcome other thoughts. Anyone handled this??

OP posts:

NewYearNewMinty · 01/03/2022 12:14

Why did you open her post? Were you suspicious that she was up to something or just being nosey?

Tbh you're going to be on a losing wicket from the outset as you have massively invaded her privacy and she will understandably make it about that rather than why she wants a fake ID.

Ursusmajor · 01/03/2022 12:15

What about just hiding it or destroying it and not saying anything? That whatever her plan is that involves fake ID won’t happen.

poodlepoop · 01/03/2022 12:15

Everyone had fake ID when I was 16, not that it was checked (!) not something I could get worked up about. I don't think you should be opening her post though, massive invasion of privacy.

JuliTooley · 01/03/2022 12:16

I understand your worry but I’m afraid you lost the moral high ground the moment you opened her mail without her permission.

GirlInACountrySong · 01/03/2022 12:17

citizens card? whats that?

where i work its not accepted as valid I.D so she wouldn't get served with it unless its got the "pass" hologram

GirlInACountrySong · 01/03/2022 12:18

sod her privacy she is intending to break the law

collieresponder88 · 01/03/2022 12:19

Most teens have fake Id these days I wouldn't worry about it too much tbh !

BigSandyBalls2015 · 01/03/2022 12:19

Apologise for opening bee post, admit it was a mistake and you shouldn’t have.

Then have a conversation about what she wants it for. It could be anything from buying a bottle of booze for a party, getting into pubs or clubs, buying vapes.

It’s very common, loads of 16/17 year olds have fake ID as everywhere is so strict now. But you need to know what she’s doing with it.

With ours a few years ago we didn’t mind a couple of local pubs but she had to promise to avoid a certain one as it was/is full of predatory druggie aresholes.

SNUG2022 · 01/03/2022 12:20

I wouldn't have been able to to out drinking without fake ID at 16 .

Maybe find out what she's planning on doing with it.

AdobeWanKenobi · 01/03/2022 12:21

I had a BF back in the day that tinkered with his driving licence when they were paper. It worked, it got him served, until he lost it and some thoughtful person handed it in to the local Police station 😂

He was summoned to the station, given a right good bollocking and had his licence destroyed so he had to fund himself a new one.

Opening her post isn't on OP, no way to build trust with a teen. You confront her and you're admitting to massively invading her privacy. If you cant reseal it to look untampered with then I think you probably have no choice but to destroy it. The company will probably send another one.

Soul11Soul · 01/03/2022 12:21

This is a hugely controlling breach of trust. Your "child" is an adult now in many respects and you have opened a letter having no idea what was inside just so you could have information that you were not entitled to. I hope you are prepared for the fall out. She will find it difficult to trust you in the future.

AskingforaBaskin · 01/03/2022 12:22

@poodlepoop

Everyone had fake ID when I was 16, not that it was checked (!) not something I could get worked up about. I don't think you should be opening her post though, massive invasion of privacy.

As someone who could lose their house their husband lose their career through fake IDs I would have to disagree.

Don't apologise and o would absolutely sit down and grill into her how risky her choices are.

Maybe take her to a local license holder and they can explain how devastating the effects are for some.
And also cut her money off.

thingymaboob · 01/03/2022 12:24

I think the only thing you can do now is destroy it and deny all knowledge of it arriving at house. That's mainly to avoid you having to admit to opening her post, or you could say you opened it without checking name as most post for you so you automatically opened it.

Akire · 01/03/2022 12:28

It’s not “just” fake idea the pub or shop could get thousands in fines for not spotting it’s a fake it’s not a victimless crime. I would deny all knowledge it expect her get new one or delivered to a mates house.

AdobeWanKenobi · 01/03/2022 12:28

Maybe take her to a local license holder and they can explain how devastating the effects are for some
And also cut her money off

How to alienate a teenager and ensure they tell you nothing, ever again 101.

AskingforaBaskin · 01/03/2022 12:29

@AdobeWanKenobi

Maybe take her to a local license holder and they can explain how devastating the effects are for some And also cut her money off

How to alienate a teenager and ensure they tell you nothing, ever again 101.

Aww will the little criminal not like being called out. Aww Bach. Funny how children do not like being disciplined.

Beamur · 01/03/2022 12:32

I think berating Mum for the loss of moral high ground here rather misses the point...
I'd say there was something suss about the post so you opened it and lo. You were right. So, would she now like to explain why she has (illegal) false ID?

girlmom21 · 01/03/2022 12:36

When she comes home present her with it and ask her what she intends to do with it.

Northernsoullover · 01/03/2022 12:36

I've genuinely opened my 16 year olds mail in error (I wasn't used to anyone but me receiving mail save for a birthday card or two) I apologised profusely for opening the NI number (so he was probably 15) no harm done.
I would tell her you opened it in error. It's a lie but so is using fake ID. You are both dishonest.
As for not being a big deal I beg to differ. Maybe she doesn't intend buying alcohol but just wants to join in with peers but if buying alcohol is her goal then yes I would be cross.
That said on mumsnet it's normal for most parents to encourage their youngsters to drink. There is a misconception that teaching them to drink responsibly will protect them from future harm. The evidence states the contrary.

GirlInACountrySong · 01/03/2022 12:37

just bin it...she's not likely to ask if its arrived!

AdobeWanKenobi · 01/03/2022 12:38

Little Criminal?

Talk about overreaction. She's ordered a fake citizen card not starting gun running.
You have some issues @AskingforaBaskin

AskingforaBaskin · 01/03/2022 12:40

@AdobeWanKenobi

Little Criminal?

Talk about overreaction. She's ordered a fake citizen card not starting gun running.
You have some issues @AskingforaBaskin

Again unless this has the potential to really ruin your life you don't understand.

And she is a criminal. That's a fact.

girlmom21 · 01/03/2022 12:40

I would tell her you opened it in error. It's a lie but so is using fake ID. You are both dishonest.

It's ok to lie to your child because she's planned on lying to someone else?

No.

Just tell her the trust. You opened it because you were suspicious and you're glad you did because what she's doing is illegal and dangerous.

ShiftingSands21 · 01/03/2022 12:41

I had a fake ID as did all my friends when we were 16/17. “European Driving Permit” anyone?

GirlInACountrySong · 01/03/2022 12:41

if we are caught selling age restricted goods to anyone underage the repercussions are huge

bearing in mind some of our till staff are age 16+ this could be severe.

no responsible adult would endorse this

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