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Original poster

16 yo daughter has fake ID delivered!!!

139 replies

TryingmybestMum · 01/03/2022 12:11

A letter arrived for my daughter this morning, I know at 16 I should respect her privacy and not open it but I did (feeling conflicted) . No address on envelope and clearly a card inside and no letter. It’s a citizens card stating she is 2 years old than she is (I.e stating she is 18)! I looked on the citizen card site and this looks really passable and the qr code works!!! Im furious but not sure how to play this conversation. Also furious that she gets allowance each month (no job yet until after GCSE’s) and it looks like fake ID are relatively expensive (compared to her allowance). I want to calm down and have something of a remotely calm conversation when she gets in but would welcome other thoughts. Anyone handled this??

OP posts:
AskingforaBaskin · 01/03/2022 13:02

@axolotlfloof

But if the licence holder checks an Id and its valid, surely they have done nothing wrong?
Nope. If an under 18 is in your venue you are fucked. You can show CCTV footage of ID being checked and it's not good enough.

Under 18s can not be in a venue and can not have alcohol.

username1293948 · 01/03/2022 13:10

Why the hell are you opening her post? That being said, just bin it and don’t say anything.

Scbchl · 01/03/2022 13:12

@AskingforaBaskin its not illegal for under 18s to be in a club.

AskingforaBaskin · 01/03/2022 13:14

[quote Scbchl]@AskingforaBaskin its not illegal for under 18s to be in a club.[/quote]
You know every venues licensing restrictions?
It's sure a shit against licensing for an U18 to be in my husbands nightclub. And every nightclub in the company I work for.

Many who open in the day will then have times restrictions eg no U18s after 7pm etc.

So again unless you know don't sprout misinformation

Jk987 · 01/03/2022 13:15

You shouldn't have opened her post. She's nearly an adult now.

Not many people wait until the day they're 18 before going to the pub. More important is whether she's got a nice set of friends who look out for each other. Teenagers have got to have some rebellion and there are worse things than fake ID.

Luredbyapomegranate · 01/03/2022 13:15

Trouble is your moral ground is muddy because you opened her post.

It’s pretty normal for 16 year olds to have fake ID and to go to appalling nightclubs. Spiking is obviously a huge worry - but a) it’s not clear how widespread that problem is and b) she’s probably going to be more vulnerable to it in a couple of years when she’s out on bigger nights.

What I would go is say - really sorry I opened your post.. but now I am concerned about this. I’d like to talk about how you stay safe, and don’t develop a wild social life that will impact on your studies.

Don’t get into money. It’s a side issue and it’s up to her how she blows her allowance.

Martianworld · 01/03/2022 13:17

I'd shred the card and never say anything about it and then wait til the next one arrived and shred that one too.

girlmom21 · 01/03/2022 13:18

It’s pretty normal for 16 year olds to have fake ID and to go to appalling nightclubs.

It's really not. 15/20 years ago it was. Now it's not.

astoundedgoat · 01/03/2022 13:19

Slightly amazed at the outrage about opening her post? At 16 she is a minor, and as a parent the OP has a moral responsibility to protect her from stuff like this. She could feel it was a card and knew straight away it was suspicious, and she was right.

If her daughter was 18, then it would be unreasonable, but 16 is a child, albeit a tall one.

Clubs are dangerous enough for a mature and alert adult woman. A 16 year old is a sitting duck for anybody who wants to harm her. That's literally why ID's exist and are checked in the first place at these places.

I wouldn't say a word, @TryingmybestMum - just disappear it.

uggmum · 01/03/2022 13:19

I would be fine with this.
I was clubbing and 15 and ID was not required.

As long as she is responsible I can't see any harm in it.

I wouldn't have opened the mail though. That is a huge breach of privacy

DillonPanthersTexas · 01/03/2022 13:20

I used to work in various bars and the only ID we accepted was driving license or passport, and even then if someone looked very young we did not serve them. We used to see all sorts of half arsed mail order IDs, NUS cards from unis we had never heard of quasi-official looking European identity cards bought off some vendor on the Koh San Road. They might work with buying cider at the corner shop or Spar but most pubs see through it all.

Stomacharmeleon · 01/03/2022 13:20

I would also be keen to know how she got it.
As far as I know her age has to be verified independently (by someone in authority) or she has to prove her age another way. Youngest is 18 in June and has been looking at ID's.

Pinkbonbon · 01/03/2022 13:21

Where did she get the ID?
...asking for a friend xD

Seriously though I'd totally get a bunch with different names. 'Who do I want to be today?'

ChocolateMassacre · 01/03/2022 13:21

@Martianworld

I'd shred the card and never say anything about it and then wait til the next one arrived and shred that one too.
This. You know what the envelope looks like now. Just destroy this one and, if she orders another one, destroy that one as well. She'll get bored wasting her money.
Scbchl · 01/03/2022 13:21

There is no LAW and it is not ILLEGAL to have under 18s in a club.

Also - 251. Under section 103 of the Act, it is an offence knowingly to allow the sale of alcohol to an individual aged under 18, on relevant premises, which are defined in section 122.

The word "knowingly" being the operative word. So simmer down and stop acting like you are the only person who has worked in a pub or club before.

Suzi888 · 01/03/2022 13:22

@thingymaboob

I think the only thing you can do now is destroy it and deny all knowledge of it arriving at house. That's mainly to avoid you having to admit to opening her post, or you could say you opened it without checking name as most post for you so you automatically opened it.
She will just order another.

Don’t do this.

Ask her why she wants it and go from there.

AskingforaBaskin · 01/03/2022 13:23

@Scbchl

There is no LAW and it is not ILLEGAL to have under 18s in a club.

Also - 251. Under section 103 of the Act, it is an offence knowingly to allow the sale of alcohol to an individual aged under 18, on relevant premises, which are defined in section 122.

The word "knowingly" being the operative word. So simmer down and stop acting like you are the only person who has worked in a pub or club before.

Do you understand a premises license? It dictates things like age restrictions etc. so the license holder would be liable if the license was breached.

And it may say that but it gets down to what the license believes. If they believe the venue has been negligee they are fucked.

In our case the ID was checked. The lad used his 18month older brother. They looked like twins. The council still wanted to go after my boss with the full weight they held.

purplesky18 · 01/03/2022 13:26

I had a fake id at 15 🤦‍♀️ However back then they just look at it and let you in, these days places have got scanners and god knows what so it’s probably more risky. I don’t know what I would do in this situation to be honest but I’d probably bin it and then act like nothings come and nothings happened.

Mummysgirl12 · 01/03/2022 13:26

I am 27. When I was 16 EVERYONE used a form of fake ID. Mostly using another person's who looked similar. I used my cousin. I didn't tell my parents at the time but we laugh about it now. I have a great job as does my DH who used fake ID as young as 13.

We are responsible adults, we had fun as kids. It was just what you did. It was FINE. if you got caught, it was a slap on the wrist. I understand there a huge issues for those selling alcohol and fines etc, however, the law isn't that clear cut. If the ID was passable and if the owner did the correct checks, they would win the case.

I would speak openly to your daughter. I PROMISE you, she will still get alcohol somehow. We learned to be reasonable and careful at a young age by being allowed a drink with dinner and it wasn't this huge mysterious thing. Being open with my parents meant when I did get drunk I felt safe calling them for help. I strongly advise you show her the ID, ask the questions, don't get mad and ask what it's for.

I think she would want to go to the pub/club.

Satingreenshutters · 01/03/2022 13:27

Her and a million other teenagers doing the same. I agree with pick your battles.

Sarcobaleno · 01/03/2022 13:32

I wouldn't worry too much. I think bouncers are very wise to the fake IDs and they confiscate them. I think using someone else's ID is more successful. So chances are it will be a waste of money anyway.

rhowton · 01/03/2022 13:37

Just tell her you opened it by mistake, and give it back to her. Do you not remember being 16!

Martianworld · 01/03/2022 13:40

Why don't you put it in a fresh envelope, and write what was on the front of the other one in disguised handwriting and then get her to open it in front of you? Then get her to explain herself before making her shred it.

nearlyspringyay · 01/03/2022 13:44

If she finds out she will be livid that you opened her post.

If she wants another one she will just order it to a friends house.

Christ I am old enough to have swopped paper driving licenses with older friends (youngest in the year), everyone does it. We used to photocopy passports, use a bit of tippex and a biro, I think things are probably slightly more sophisticated now.

Don't open her post again.

Beautiful3 · 01/03/2022 13:44

Lots of 16 year old have a fake ID so that they can buy alcohol and go.to the pub.