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Original poster

16 yo daughter has fake ID delivered!!!

139 replies

TryingmybestMum · 01/03/2022 12:11

A letter arrived for my daughter this morning, I know at 16 I should respect her privacy and not open it but I did (feeling conflicted) . No address on envelope and clearly a card inside and no letter. It’s a citizens card stating she is 2 years old than she is (I.e stating she is 18)! I looked on the citizen card site and this looks really passable and the qr code works!!! Im furious but not sure how to play this conversation. Also furious that she gets allowance each month (no job yet until after GCSE’s) and it looks like fake ID are relatively expensive (compared to her allowance). I want to calm down and have something of a remotely calm conversation when she gets in but would welcome other thoughts. Anyone handled this??

OP posts:
Floraflower3 · 02/03/2022 09:28

Interesting parenting here from some of the posters who let their 16 year olds go clubbing and to bars every week with fake ID apparently Hmm . At the very old age of 26, when I was 16 fake OD’s weren’t common at all. I don’t understand why PP’s are ok with their children possibly getting drunk and being vulnerable to older men (no one is expecting 16-17 yr olds in a bar or club) and this is coming from someone who loves to go out and started drinking before 18 so not a prude or naive.

DoorLion · 02/03/2022 09:39

@ShiftingSands21

I had a fake ID as did all my friends when we were 16/17. “European Driving Permit” anyone?
Ah the good old European Drivers License - I had one when I went to the US aged 18, altered to make me 21 and able to buy booze, so easy to change a digit on the birth year , I am sure they must be printed now not written, if they even exist.
NewYearNewMinty · 02/03/2022 12:44

@Floraflower3

Interesting parenting here from some of the posters who let their 16 year olds go clubbing and to bars every week with fake ID apparently Hmm . At the very old age of 26, when I was 16 fake OD’s weren’t common at all. I don’t understand why PP’s are ok with their children possibly getting drunk and being vulnerable to older men (no one is expecting 16-17 yr olds in a bar or club) and this is coming from someone who loves to go out and started drinking before 18 so not a prude or naive.
I don't think turning a blind eye to fake ID means anyone is encouraging their kids to go out on the lash at inappropriate clubs every Friday and Saturday night.

Most likely they are just a bit more realistic...my DD is 17, looks about 22 and has plenty of 18 year olds friends who could procure booze etc for her if she asked them. As a social group they don't go clubbing as they know the younger ones won't get in and have opted not to use fake ID.

That said I know DD has considered getting one for when she goes to Reading later this year...she'll be 3 weeks off her 18th with a group of known and trusted friends so I'm absolutely not going to stress about her doing that if she chooses (fwiw I don't think she'll bother as she's quite careful how she spends her money so won't think it's worth it).

CharlotteTuesday · 02/03/2022 12:54

@Obviouspretzel how do you pair that viewpoint with , say, grooming? You suspect your 16 year old is chatting to some 40 year old online. By your own 'wisdom,' you'd turn a blind eye as you can't possibly do a spot of proactive parenting for fear of 'losing the moral high ground'

Some parents are almost afraid to parent. No idea why

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 02/03/2022 13:07

*@Obviouspretzel how do you pair that viewpoint with , say, grooming? You suspect your 16 year old is chatting to some 40 year old online. By your own 'wisdom,' you'd turn a blind eye as you can't possibly do a spot of proactive parenting for fear of 'losing the moral high ground'

Some parents are almost afraid to parent. No idea why*

Bloody hell. It's quite clear that some commenters on here are not parents to older teens. You know when I said pick your battles? This is exactly what I was talking about. Just because you turn a blind eye to a 17 yo getting a fake id and using it to go to the pub or buy booze from the shops, it doesn't automatically mean that you fail to protect them from other perils. Serious eye roll going on here.

Floraflower3 · 02/03/2022 15:07

I don't think turning a blind eye to fake ID means anyone is encouraging their kids to go out on the lash at inappropriate clubs every Friday and Saturday night.

Most likely they are just a bit more realistic...my DD is 17, looks about 22 and has plenty of 18 year olds friends who could procure booze etc for her if she asked them. As a social group they don't go clubbing as they know the younger ones won't get in and have opted not to use fake ID.

That said I know DD has considered getting one for when she goes to Reading later this year...she'll be 3 weeks off her 18th with a group of known and trusted friends so I'm absolutely not going to stress about her doing that if she chooses (fwiw I don't think she'll bother as she's quite careful how she spends her money so won't think it's worth it).

A previous poster said their 16 ur old goes to bars and clubs most weeks so I guess I’m more reacting to that.

I know friends can buy booze for you (I know because they did it for me!), it’s more the getting fake ID and using it in pubs, shops and clubs I have an issue with.

A fake ID isn’t needed for Reading speaking from bitter experience of smuggling in 20L of cider that I didn’t even drink Hmm The older ones can buy it from the nearby Tesco as it’s extortionate in the venue Grin

Floraflower3 · 02/03/2022 15:08

@NewYearNewMinty quote fail 🤦🏾‍♀️

DGRossetti · 02/03/2022 15:10

@Obviouspretzel

Of course she has lost the moral high ground. As a teenager,the lesson here for me would be, my parents can't be trusted to respect my privacy so get the next ID delivered to someone else's house.
Or any other correspondence.
Mojoj · 02/03/2022 15:27

She's 16. What are you doing opening her post? So it's a fake ID. Big deal. She's probably trying to get served in the pub. Hardly the end of the world, is it?

FluffyBooBoo · 02/03/2022 15:40

@GirlInACountrySong

citizens card? whats that?

where i work its not accepted as valid I.D so she wouldn't get served with it unless its got the "pass" hologram

I'm surprised at this. A citizens card is the UK's national identity card, and does have the pass hologram.

It is considered valid ID within the UK, so I'm not sure why your work doesn't accept it.

Cyberpunk2077 · 02/03/2022 15:46

Out of curiosity if someone were to serve someone with a fake ID alcohol, restricted items and believed it to be real, why would they get into trouble?

TheRealKaren · 02/03/2022 15:50

@poodlepoop

Everyone had fake ID when I was 16, not that it was checked (!) not something I could get worked up about. I don't think you should be opening her post though, massive invasion of privacy.
Um, I didn’t 🤷🏼‍♀️Admittedly because the guy in my local off-licence though I was in my 20s when I was 15, but that’s another issue
TooManyPJs · 02/03/2022 15:50

I've always opened all the post for the house. Even if you don't normally do this you could easily have opened it accidentally (I am often opening parcels and letters accidentally that were delivers to us in error). If she wants to do something illicit she needs to get much cleverer than having it delivered to her home address where her parents live.

TheRealKaren · 02/03/2022 15:56

and it’s legal at 16+ with food
It is In a pub/restaurant if the young person is accompanied by someone over the age of 18. However in reality very few places allow this and have a blanket no alcohol to minors policy. however at home the legal age limit is 5 and it doesn’t have to be with a meal either (obviously not endorsing this. I personally think that home drinking should be raised to at least 13)

SoupGiveMeSoup · 02/03/2022 16:10

I do have an older teen who is at university. Neither he nor his mates had fake ID, they did have house parties though where alcohol was consumed from 16 onward. So no, not everyone has fake ID.

Most clubs here (big city) will not accept the citizen card and will only accept a driving licence or passport. Ds has got a citizen card as a back up id in case he loses his driving licence.

I think the impact you could potentially have on someone else's life and livelihood by using fake ID is worrying. My Mum was a licensee and it was their absolute biggest fear that they could be prosecuted. They had a if in doubt refuse to serve policy.

DGRossetti · 02/03/2022 16:11

I'm surprised at this. A citizens card is the UK's national identity card, and does have the pass hologram. [] It is considered valid ID within the UK, so I'm not sure why your work doesn't accept it.

Because it's clearly a load of rubbish if a 16 year old can get one.

ExConstance · 02/03/2022 16:27

Well, I couldn't be a hypocrite. My fiends and I used to set out for an evenings drinking with no make up and pretend to be under 14 to get half price ticket on the train. Once on the train we would put our make up on and look 18 to get served in the pubs. I suppose we would have been 15/16 at the time. No ID was required in those days. We all turned out OK, one of our group is Chair of the Bench in a northern city , another sits on a local Health Board. I've been chair of a national charity. Chill, it is just what 16year olds do.

JeremyBeadlesTinyHand · 02/03/2022 16:34

My mother used to go through my post and "accidentally" open it. Due to this and other controlling, nasty behaviour I only have limited contact with her. At 16 she's not a child anymore and I think you need to take a step back.

Marmelace · 02/03/2022 16:42

I wonder if those not opposed to teens using fake id and not giving a shit about repercussions for the licence holders and their staff, would be as nonchalant if fines etc were given to the parents of the teens instead

CharlotteTuesday · 02/03/2022 17:07

@chocolatesaltyballs22 I'm currently on my 3rd teen.

Like I said, I wouldn't open their post unless my suspicions were piqued. It's not happened yet.

If my suspicions were piqued and I found fake ID, I'd like to know all about it and what it was for.

I mean, what's difficult to grasp about that? It's the very basics of parenting, trying to protect your kids. If the ID was for buying cigarettes or getting into the pub, then I'd react accordingly to that - mildly probably. If it was for being able to join Only Fans or something, I'd go spare.

You can parent effectively and still choose your battles

Soul11Soul · 02/03/2022 17:08

@ExConstance

Well, I couldn't be a hypocrite. My fiends and I used to set out for an evenings drinking with no make up and pretend to be under 14 to get half price ticket on the train. Once on the train we would put our make up on and look 18 to get served in the pubs. I suppose we would have been 15/16 at the time. No ID was required in those days. We all turned out OK, one of our group is Chair of the Bench in a northern city , another sits on a local Health Board. I've been chair of a national charity. Chill, it is just what 16year olds do.
Me too. We'd also go to the "Unders" at our favourite club.. leave..go round the corner and change our tops and put some make up on and go back to the "overs". We really just wanted to dance and kiss boys, we weren't that interested in booze (partly because we were skint).
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 02/03/2022 17:09

@CharlotteTuesday - Thanks for accusing me of not parenting effectively. When my teen had a fake ID I knew it was for getting into Spoons with her mates, or buying the odd bit of booze from Tesco. I was fine with that. She talks to me - I don't need to open her post to find out what she's up to.

CharlotteTuesday · 02/03/2022 17:15

@chocolatesaltyballs22 I wouldn't take it all that personally. I don't know you Grin

chocolatesaltyballs22 · 02/03/2022 17:35

[quote CharlotteTuesday]@chocolatesaltyballs22 I wouldn't take it all that personally. I don't know you Grin[/quote]
Fair enough!

Justkeeppedaling · 02/03/2022 17:35

Did you really never go in a pub before you reached 18 OP?