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Original poster

Friend telling me to not to join night out because I'm a close contact

376 replies

feelingannoyed1 · 26/02/2022 14:01

Had a night out planned with friends tonight, one I've been really looking forward to for ages as, for one reason or another, we haven't met up since summer last year. Was looking forward to getting dressed up and having a few drinks, this isn't something I get to do very often as I have young kids. For context, the other members of the group don't have kids and get out much more than me.

But of course we now have a positive Covid case in our household. I'm negative and have no symptoms, but thought it was just courtesy to let the group know. Was expecting them just to say oh that's fine, we're looking forward to seeing you, but the organiser wrote back saying what a shame, they'll all miss me and hopefully I can join another time!

I'm actually really upset. There's no reason I can't go, and we have to start living our lives again. The impact on everyone's mental health is too great, and that includes me missing out on some much needed social interaction (and yes I know there are much worse things going on in the world right now).

I spoke to one of the other girls in the group, she was happy for me to come, but didn't really want to get caught up in a bit of an argument, and either do I. I just think if the organiser isn't comfortable sitting on a table with a close contact who is negative (despite herself working quite closely with COVID positive patients!) then it should be her that should stay at home, not me!

Just need a rant, this has actually really upset me ☹️

OP posts:
Chocomelon · 26/02/2022 15:01

I'm sorry, but i wouldn't want to socialise with someone who had a household Covid case, and I don't think I'm unusual in that regard.

I agree with this

n the nicest way possible, you told people because you suspected that a few of them might not want to socialise with you due to the risk, but wanted them to miss out on the night our rather than you, even though you’re the one affected?

And this.

Chocomelon · 26/02/2022 15:02

My friends would tell me and I'd tell them but they would also ask whether we still want to meet up (at least)

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 26/02/2022 15:02

I'm sorry, but i wouldn't want to socialise with someone who had a household Covid case, and I don't think I'm unusual in that regard.

Blimey. What do you think the rest of us have been doing throughout? I’ve been teaching kids where all 5 other members of their family have covid!!!!! Wish I had the luxury of refusing to see someone who’s family have covid

2pinkginsplease · 26/02/2022 15:03

Personally I would stay home from a night out if someone in my house had tested positive. There’s always another night out.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 26/02/2022 15:08

Sorry but I wouldn't want you to come either. I don't want COVID!

Just accept it for what it is, stay home and keep testing.

harrumphs · 26/02/2022 15:08

Amongst my friends we've told each other when this has happened, and checked how each other feel about meeting up. Some have been fine with it, others have asked we cancel.
It's rubbish, OP, but I think even though we legally don't have to isolate anymore, we still need to give others the option not to be in contact with us in this situation.

Chocomelon · 26/02/2022 15:09

@OnceuponaRainbow18

I'm sorry, but i wouldn't want to socialise with someone who had a household Covid case, and I don't think I'm unusual in that regard.

Blimey. What do you think the rest of us have been doing throughout? I’ve been teaching kids where all 5 other members of their family have covid!!!!! Wish I had the luxury of refusing to see someone who’s family have covid

So what's your point?

You would prefer not to socialise with someone in OP's position or not? You say you've had to mix because of your job but you "wish" you had the luxury of not having to?

Original poster
feelingannoyed1 · 26/02/2022 15:10

We'll I'm not going so I'm not putting anyone at any potential risk.

COVID is everywhere at the minute and we are all coming into contact with positive cases and close contacts all the time. Unfortunately that's what life is like now if you like it of not. People who know they are positive are even allowed back into workplaces.

I have abided by every rule the whole time, and have also avoided going on nights out when I was a close contact even though I could have gone, but I didn't want to put anyone's Christmas's at risk because it was obviously the right thing to do.

Now the rules have lifted but I'm still stuck at home, and I can't quite get my head around why. I'm not going to be mixing with my elderly parents who have health conditions until I know our whole house is Covid free, but surely the risk of meeting with a few friends who are young and healthy is much less, especially considering they are out socialising in bars and restaurants pretty often and most likely in close contact with people who are higher risk than me.

OP posts:
Original poster
feelingannoyed1 · 26/02/2022 15:12

@2pinkginsplease

Personally I would stay home from a night out if someone in my house had tested positive. There’s always another night out.
In normal circumstances I would totally agree. However it's been 7 months since I have had a night out with friends, I guess this is why I'm more annoyed than others might be in this situation.
OP posts:
Kitkat151 · 26/02/2022 15:13

@feelingannoyed1

I told them because I just feel it's only courtesy. Everyone has their own situations and if they don't want to take the risk then that should be their decision. Although surely everyone is unknowingly coming into contact with close contacts who are negative all the time now as there is so much of it about!

Just feeling pretty crap that it's me who's affected when I really needed this night out to be honest. Organiser is out socialising loads!!

Can’t understand why you said anything?🤷‍♀️ There was bound to be someone in the group who would think you shouldn’t come.... far better to just do an LFT on the day and say nothing
BloodyForeland · 26/02/2022 15:15

@tackling

So you really meant, "I might be infectious but want to go out, so please can stay at home if that would make you uncomfortable"?

OP, that's so incredibly unreasonable I don't know where to start.

This. It’s pretty unreasonable to assume that other people should stay at home, but not you, given that you’re the close contact.
7eleven · 26/02/2022 15:16

Why the heck should other people cancel because you’re a contact? You’re being a bit silly imo. Get a takeaway and a nice bottle of wine.

Didiusfalco · 26/02/2022 15:16

Ahh, I feel for you. This was me last weekend. Thing is by the next day I was positive so was glad I stayed in.

Chloemol · 26/02/2022 15:17

Just go back, say you will do a LFT and if that’s negative you are coming as there is no requirement to isolate

labyrinthlaziness · 26/02/2022 15:18

I probably wouldn't go if there was a positive case in my household, and I certainly wouldn't tell people and expect them to be fine with it.

I think it is understandable that people are thinking they still don't want to catch it. Covid is a nasty little bastard.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 26/02/2022 15:18

However it's been 7 months since I have had a night out with friends

It's been lot longer than that for some of us.Just stay home and safe. I hope you feel OK.

Totalwasteofpaper · 26/02/2022 15:18

@Moonbabysmum

I'm sorry, but i wouldn't want to socialise with someone who had a household Covid case, and I don't think I'm unusual in that regard.

Thank you for being honest about your situation. I know there's no legal requirement but it's obvious that a lot of Boris's decisions in the last few months have been about saving his skin with his party rather than public health. Do you think Chris Whitty would go out for the evening if he had a positive household case? He's my barometer more than Bojo.

This.

It's basic courtesy to tell them and basic courtesy not to go out and about.

Yabu.

TyrannosaurusRegina · 26/02/2022 15:21

@feelingannoyed1

We'll I'm not going so I'm not putting anyone at any potential risk.

COVID is everywhere at the minute and we are all coming into contact with positive cases and close contacts all the time. Unfortunately that's what life is like now if you like it of not. People who know they are positive are even allowed back into workplaces.

I have abided by every rule the whole time, and have also avoided going on nights out when I was a close contact even though I could have gone, but I didn't want to put anyone's Christmas's at risk because it was obviously the right thing to do.

Now the rules have lifted but I'm still stuck at home, and I can't quite get my head around why. I'm not going to be mixing with my elderly parents who have health conditions until I know our whole house is Covid free, but surely the risk of meeting with a few friends who are young and healthy is much less, especially considering they are out socialising in bars and restaurants pretty often and most likely in close contact with people who are higher risk than me.

But what if you pass it onto them and they end up inadvertently passing it on to an elderly or vulnerable person?
Kittykat93 · 26/02/2022 15:21

Why did you tell them 🤦

I'd just go. You're not doing anything wrong, you are allowed to go out and about even if positive now. You're negative though - so it makes even less sense to stay in and isolate.

Just go, if someone is uncomfortable they don't have to come do they

Pepperama · 26/02/2022 15:23

Everyone I know would cancel if they have a positive case in the house, to protect others and limit spread. Can’t believe the number of people who’d just go knowing they’re likely to be infectious. No wonder the UK is such a mess. Shows why Boris’ idea of trusting people to ‘do the right thing’/personal responsibility is such a bad idea.

Iliketeaagain · 26/02/2022 15:23

Oh Op - it's rubbish to miss the night out. If it were me, the issue would be that if any of them tested positive after the night out, they would decide it was you who passed it on. Even though if they are having a night out, they could catch from anyone in any place. You told them, but they would have no idea if anyone else at the venue has covid or is a covid contact.

If it was in someone's home, then I could see that they would be more cautious, but at a bar or restaurant, quite frankly you are at risk of catching it from anyone.

Egghead68 · 26/02/2022 15:23

It’s good you told them.

I wouldn’t want to go out with a close contact either.

Hope you don’t get sick and you get a chance to meet up with your friends before too long.

Original poster
feelingannoyed1 · 26/02/2022 15:23

For those of you saying I shouldn't be going out to see friends, are you all going to continue to self isolate if you have a positive household case, even though there is no requirement to do so? Are you going to stop going into work for fear of putting your colleagues at risk and what will your employers say about that if the rules say you should be in work?

Are you ever planning to return to some sense of normality?

My view now is that it's all about weighing up the risks. I think there's a world of difference in meeting up with a few young, healthy, fully vaccinated friends in my situation than meeting up with elderly relatives with health conditions.

But if people feel differently or maybe have a big event/trip coming up the following week and want to be more cautious, then it's only right to let them know your situation and let them make their own decisions.

OP posts:
SpiderVersed · 26/02/2022 15:24

I get that it's really frustrating but I agree with then organiser. If you have Covid in your household you don't go out socialising.

I wouldn't if there was norovirus or some other highly inferctious condition in my household either. It's just being considerate.

PrimroseTheSmooth · 26/02/2022 15:24

I think if I were your friend I’d have suggested postponing the whole thing rather than telling you not to come.