Page 6 | Friend telling me to not to join night out because I'm a close contact

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 26/02/2022 16:19

I wouldn't want to see anyone socially either with Covid in the house.

Dishwashersaurous · 26/02/2022 16:19

The only thing you can do is respond to the message saying; "of course I will still be coming " (as that is what you want to do).

Then people who don't want to socialise will drop out, which might be all or the majority.

In which case you ruin everyone's night.

AngelinaFibres · 26/02/2022 16:22

@LilacPaisley

For those of you saying I shouldn't be going out to see friends, are you all going to continue to self isolate if you have a positive household case, even though there is no requirement to do so?

Of course. It's the responsible thing to do. The likelihood of contracting it and passing it on to others is very high. Why wouldn't you do the right thing?

I would continue to go to work if I had a job I couldn't do from home but I would stay away from other people at break and lunch. I would take a flask and sandwiches so I didn't need to touch anything in the staff kitchen. I would not go in shops I didn't need to or join queues I didn't absolutely have to be in. I certainly wouldn't spend an evening socialising .

nocoolnamesleft · 26/02/2022 16:24

No way I'd socialise with a household contact.

BluebellsGreenbells · 26/02/2022 16:26

How long are people prepared to live like this though?

The restrictions have been lifted, the OP is not breaking any rules as long as she is still testing negative

If people want to continue to keep away then that is up to them, its not up to the OP to hide away

Totally agree. DD was positive over Christmas and we still had to work - others had positive partners and they came and socialized - nobody batted an eyelid!

I say go, how do they know the Barman isn’t positive and has to go to work or not get paid? What about the taxi driver, will they ask? Very much doubt it’ll be long belfries most are exposed anyway.

LovedayCL · 26/02/2022 16:29

How long are people prepared to live like this though?

The restrictions have been lifted, the OP is not breaking any rules as long as she is still testing negative

If people want to continue to keep away then that is up to them, its not up to the OP to hide away

It’s always been reasonable to consider not socialising while someone in your household has flu / norovirus etc.

Llioed · 26/02/2022 16:29

I haven’t read the full thread but if a friend of mine didn’t disclose he/she was a close contact prior to meeting me, I would re-think the friendship. I have cancer and can’t be put at risk.

My genuine friends, and family, are very considerate when meeting with me, and they would tell me if they, or a close contact, tested negative, so we could reach a decision. They certainly would not expect to still attend, that’s for sure.

OP - if you were my friend and were wanting to still go, and expect me to stay home, I would say you were being selfish and inconsiderate.

Shame on all the posters saying “well in future keep quiet then you can still go” - idiots!!

OP - you now know how the organiser feels - if you go ahead and meet them, you will potentially ruin your friendship with one or more of them.

saraclara · 26/02/2022 16:29

@NewMum0305

In the nicest way possible, you told people because you suspected that a few of them might not want to socialise with you due to the risk, but wanted them to miss out on the night our rather than you, even though you’re the one affected?

That. You expected THEM to miss out if they needed to. And now that YOU'RE the one missing out, you're peeved about it. That's a bit illogical don't you think?

Luminousnose · 26/02/2022 16:29

I wouldn’t go out with a positive Covid test in the household. You may be negative now, but the chances are you won’t stay that way. I’ve had Covid (Omicron) and for me it was a (very mild) cold. However, I also have two work colleagues who weren’t so lucky and are still, nearly two months later, not fully back to normal - they didn’t catch it from me by the way. These are triple-vaccinated people in their 40s. They’re not going to die from Covid. Nor do they have long Covid, but they were both quite poorly and I wouldn’t like to be responsible for that, just because I wanted a night out.

Hiddenvoice · 26/02/2022 16:32

I’m sorry you’ve not had a night out in a while and you’re upset that it’s turned out this way but you are in a household where someone has covid. Your friends are entitled to say they don’t want to meet up with you. I wouldn’t want to meet up with a friend who had a positive case at home and would reschedule with them.

Personally if it was me I’d feel rubbish about missing a night out but accept that even though I’m currently negative I could be a carrier and pass it on to someone else.

Blondeshavemorefun · 26/02/2022 16:33

Tech you can go out, go to work etc

My dd had covid maybe 4w ago. I told work. They still wanted me. I’m self employed

I didn’t get it neither did dh

I get you told them to be polite etc but no need next time

TenoringBehind · 26/02/2022 16:34

As you say, you told them out of courtesy. You must (or should) then have had an expectation that they might not be comfortable with you coming.

I’m fairly relaxed about Covid but I wouldn’t want you to come on a night out. Sorry!

Madmog · 26/02/2022 16:35

I know you're allowed out and have to go to work, but why would you risk putting your friends at risk? Some people end up feeling really bad with it (we did) and not want to risk not being able to go to special occasions/away, also some may have elderly or vulnerable family they don't want to risk, children at school who they don't want to miss their education and so on.

AngelinaFibres · 26/02/2022 16:36

@mudgetastic

Your friend works closely with covid positive patients - perhaps that affects her view as to what is sensible ?

She has seen first hand what it can do. My mother is 82. She got it and was a bit tired and achey but nothing much else and she was up and about after 2 days. She gave it to me. I am 56. I was much more poorly with it. We are all triple jabbed and quite fit with no health conditions. You have no idea how it will affect your friends if you pass it on to them.We had been concerned for the last 2 years that mum would be very ill with it. In the end she wasn't, but I suspect I would have been in trouble without the jabs. If they go out this evening and catch it from someone else it will not be your fault. If you go and they catch it from someone else they will have no idea and will always see you as the source. If one of them misses something important or becomes very ill it will always be seen as your fault.

Washermother33 · 26/02/2022 16:36

October half term I cancelled joining a group of friends when one of them found out her daughter was positive . She’d been intending to still go out , I’d been due to see my elderly father and for me it just wasn’t worth the risk . When I said I wasn’t coming quite a few of the group started discussing their future plans they were looking forward to . She then decided not to go as I think she realised she could easily ruin everyone’s plans . Technically she was in the right … but I didn’t want to risk my Dad - he’s since passed away and I’m very glad I was able to visit him and spend quality time with him … we all make our own decisions

Staffy1 · 26/02/2022 16:37

I think they assumed you told them someone in the house had covid to explain why you wouldn’t be coming. That’s what I would get from that, I wouldn’t just assume you were mentioning it for nothing, or just so I could decide whether you went or not.
Having said that, I wouldn’t be too comfortable going out with someone who had a positive case in their household.

Liveandkicking · 26/02/2022 16:37

@feelingannoyed1

Had a night out planned with friends tonight, one I've been really looking forward to for ages as, for one reason or another, we haven't met up since summer last year. Was looking forward to getting dressed up and having a few drinks, this isn't something I get to do very often as I have young kids. For context, the other members of the group don't have kids and get out much more than me.

But of course we now have a positive Covid case in our household. I'm negative and have no symptoms, but thought it was just courtesy to let the group know. Was expecting them just to say oh that's fine, we're looking forward to seeing you, but the organiser wrote back saying what a shame, they'll all miss me and hopefully I can join another time!

I'm actually really upset. There's no reason I can't go, and we have to start living our lives again. The impact on everyone's mental health is too great, and that includes me missing out on some much needed social interaction (and yes I know there are much worse things going on in the world right now).

I spoke to one of the other girls in the group, she was happy for me to come, but didn't really want to get caught up in a bit of an argument, and either do I. I just think if the organiser isn't comfortable sitting on a table with a close contact who is negative (despite herself working quite closely with COVID positive patients!) then it should be her that should stay at home, not me!

Just need a rant, this has actually really upset me ☹️

I think the reality is that soon people won’t tell other people and just carry on. Trying to police other people is going to be counter productive in social situations.

sofato5miles · 26/02/2022 16:38

Why don't you organise another night out? If ypu are lonely take some.control and get some dates in the diary to cheer yourself up

Hope90x · 26/02/2022 16:39

I'm sorry, I know it upsets a lot of people to think that things are having to move on but there's no way I would be staying at home. If new rules dictate that you don't have to isolate, your LFT is negative and you would have to go on to work as normal, I would certainly be socialising as normal.

I have COVID for the second time a few weeks ago, it spread around my entire extended family but all had positive LFT and some form of symptom as a "give-away"

Enjoy yourself OP.

bluebird3 · 26/02/2022 16:40

I'm sorry but I agree with the organiser.

Part of us getting back to living our lives is taking personal responsibility for not passing on a potential infection to others. Rather than us needing the government to tel us the sensible thing to do.

I would not want to socialise with someone who has a positive infection in their home.

It's disappointing that you were looking forward to it and now can't go- why don't you organise another night out in a couple weeks once you will be in the clear?

PinkSyCo · 26/02/2022 16:40

If your friends go out regularly, surely it’s better to just make arrangements to meet up another time? 🤷🏻‍♀️

RampantIvy · 26/02/2022 16:40

For those of you saying I shouldn't be going out to see friends, are you all going to continue to self isolate if you have a positive household case

Yes I would. Regardless of the current guidelines I would use my common sense and not want to put other people at risk.

JustDanceAddict · 26/02/2022 16:40

Dh had covid a few weeks ago & I kept a couple of arrangements- told my friends and just did lft beforehand. I didn’t get covid from him!

You have to respect what your friends say, unfortunately. I’d be ok as long as an lft was taken right before the meet up.

JustDanceAddict · 26/02/2022 16:41

And I also went into work etc - was taking daily lfts

AngelinaFibres · 26/02/2022 16:41

[quote feelingannoyed1]@MsHampton but would you be happy to meet up with a friend who didn't have flu but someone in their household did? [/quote]
No