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Original poster

Unplanned pregnancy, I am so scared to tell my partner

353 replies

emmaa1990 · 21/02/2022 10:13

Hello,

I am on a pill which I have been taking, I was on 3 lots of antibiotics- could this be how I have fallen pregnant?
Anyway I am late for my period, so yesterday I did a test off my own back, and to my shock it was positive. I am so so scared as this is totally unplanned- I still haven’t told my boyfriend of two years, I am so scared of how he will react. What if he says absolutely not, or is angry at me?

Please can someone give me advice or calm me down! Thank you

OP posts:
Kirst26 · 22/02/2022 13:17

Good luck!

SheldonesqueTheBstard · 22/02/2022 13:18

I’ve left it there lol.

He will be thinking I am now. So when he calls me il say I am going to buy a test

Lol?

I’m sorry OP, it does read like game playing and lying. You should have just told him because you are both responsible for this pregnancy.

You say you have a happy relationship but you wouldn’t be frightened to tell him if it was happy.

You need to talk. And by talk, I mean start communicating properly. No evasion. No fudging the truth. No lying.

This could be the start of something wonderful.

sofakingcool · 22/02/2022 13:20

Good luck @emmaa1990 , you can do this x

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

1st trimester Families General pregnancy
Original poster
emmaa1990 · 22/02/2022 13:20

@SheldonesqueTheBstard I am just scared as it’s such a huge thing, what if he isn’t ready? I’m worried he will reject me- but I know it’s my over thinking.

I have sent a message anyway saying I am doing a test so il tell him this afternoon so he will know and we can deal with it x

OP posts:
User48751490 · 22/02/2022 13:22

Unless he accidentally fell on you, he really is partly responsible for your pregnancy if you are in a relationship. Hopefully you can sit together and discuss this. Good luck whatever you decide.

Original poster
emmaa1990 · 22/02/2022 13:25

@User48751490 this is really so true, I don’t know why I am putting all the blame on myself - I actually was taking my pill every day, not always at same times so maybe that why!
But at end of day this has happened, and we are just going to have to deal with it.

OP posts:
Original poster
emmaa1990 · 22/02/2022 13:25

@Kirst26@sofakingcool thank you ♥️

OP posts:
Okeydoky · 22/02/2022 13:28

It might not be the antibiotic at all. The pill isn't 100% reliable even when taken perfectly. The efficacy varies between brands, but even if it's 99% effective that means that in one year from 100 women taking it perfectly one will get pregnant.

roarfeckingroarr · 22/02/2022 13:29

I really don't think this is a conversation for text!! Talk to him in person later. You're in this together.

RalphLaurenG · 22/02/2022 13:31

Good luck OP. Your relationship sounds like a good one and hopefully after a couple of days the shock will have calmed down a bit and you can both explore how you're feeling with a bit more clarity.

Original poster
emmaa1990 · 22/02/2022 13:32

@Okeydoky had to be the one person didn’t I 🤦🏻‍♀️ Anyway this could be a lovely thing that’s happened. I hope anyway x
@roarfeckingroarr yes I would rather do it to his face, I may just talk to him later and say look I’ve done a test and this was the result and hand it over to him x

OP posts:
Original poster
emmaa1990 · 22/02/2022 13:33

@RalphLaurenG thank you, it is but I am just over thinking that’s all, I hope everything works out anyway x

OP posts:
ispyy · 22/02/2022 13:38

Hope all goes well! Last month I found out I was unexpectedly over 20 weeks pregnant, I was really anxious about telling DH. I think it's really normal to feel like that when the pregnancy is unexpected because you're in shock yourself!

CallMeDaddy58 · 22/02/2022 13:38

@Ursusmajor

There’s no rule that you must do this face to face. If you’d rather give him time to get over his initial disbelief you can text him. - tell him you were worried cause your period hasn’t started so you did a test and it’s positive. I’d send him a pic of the test during his lunch break at work.
Eh no. Don’t do this.

Don’t text someone that you are unexpectedly pregnant during their lunch break at work. Fucking hell.

Juno22 · 22/02/2022 13:43

Please don't send him a picture of a positive test while he's at work. That's an awful thing to do when it's an unplanned pregnancy. You need to tell him face to face.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 22/02/2022 13:46

Hi OP,

The same thing happened to me. Was with DP 2is years when I fell pregnant on the pill.
I had some symptoms, took a test, panicked when it was positive so went to the drs and told him that night when he came home from work. It was a complicated setup at the time, we didn't live together at the time but were in the process of moving in so we had stuff all over the place. That night he happened to be coming back to my parents house and I didn't want to tell him in my family home just in case he had a bad reaction. I don't think anyone knows how they'll feel with a surprise pregnancy until they experience it so I had no idea if he's be the same as me (upset and still sort of happy!) or if he's be cross and anxious or over the moon....

He had the best reaction, he told me he loved me first and foremost, and he would support me no matter what. When I told him I wanted to keep it he hugged and kissed me and 6, nearly 7 years later we are married with a lovely home and a fab kid

I understand how you are feeling. You can be scared to rock the boat by delivering such huge, life changing news, without being scared of your partner. Once it's out there you can't take it back either.

You'll be fine. Regardless of what happens, you'll be fine. Whether it ends up being you, him and baby, you and baby, you and him, or just you, you'll be fine.

Sausagedogsarethebest · 22/02/2022 13:58

Good luck OP, hope he takes it well and has a good reaction.

Calmdown14 · 22/02/2022 14:02

I would say remember how you feel now when you tell him.
Maybe say 'i have this to tell you and then I'm going for a walk to let you process it before we talk.

His first reaction may not be good. Yours isn't either from what you describe, the first instinct is panic. This isn't a reflection of what type of parent either of you will be if that's what you choose.

I think it's easy to forget that as a woman we get a bit of notice and it's still a shock. You have thought 'im late', bought a kit and used the kit so your brain knew it might be coming and it was still a shock.

I'm trying to say don't let those first few moments dictate anything. Expecting a poor reaction is probably best but equally give it a bit of time before using this as the true mark of how he feels. He won't know how he feels when those words come out.

Give yourselves time

Electriq · 22/02/2022 14:22

You could have taken the pill every day like clockwork at the same time down to the same second, it is not 100% accurate.

Being pregnant brings up a lot of emotions, especially when you are not planning it.

Take your time, and I hope all goes ok, Best of luck

MrsPsmalls · 22/02/2022 14:39

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

sofakingcool · 22/02/2022 14:41

@MrsPsmalls

You sound incredibly immature and dramatic op. In no way do you sound ready to be a parent and god alone knows how you parent a six year old.
Lovely
Mama1980 · 22/02/2022 14:42

Just keep breathing op you're in shock. Tell him, get to out in the open and then take it from there.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 22/02/2022 14:48

@MrsPsmalls

You sound incredibly immature and dramatic op. In no way do you sound ready to be a parent and god alone knows how you parent a six year old.
Because she's nervous about telling her newish partner that she is unexpectedly pregnant? Yeah, nowt scary about that! That's why there are so few single mother's out there, unexpected pregnancies NEVER change the relationship for the worse.
irishfarmer · 22/02/2022 15:21

I think panic is an understandable feeling. Did he text back when you said you were doing a test?

jazzhands44 · 22/02/2022 15:57

@MrsPsmalls you sound incredibly nasty and vindictive and in no way kind enough to parent anyone.