The title of your memoir is the last text you sent

[IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece]

Inspired by the ridiculousness of mine.

“There’s a pube on my bloody donut”

“I think we should switch bank accounts” - feels apt somehow

?

Because I'd missed it off the previous text and wanted to make it clear it's a question!
Full text was "There is stuff to do nearby if we're early though...shops and cafes etc. Let's make it half hour earlier to be on the safe side! So meet at 10."

Actually the story of my life is fretting that I'm going to be late so turning up super early, so it's very apt!

“I’ve got us both drinks”

Riveting stuff there!

I know. Love you too.

Wine is always good!
Sense of humour helps too....

Chuckling at some of these. Very Alan Bennett.

Mine was "I highly doubt Ben will get infected"

Fraggle time!

Yes😍

‘Sat and Wed please’

Telling DH to remember to get lottery

“ not a fucking chance she’s getting in that thing unless she’s bringing crisco home and she’s going to grease herself into it”

That thing being the dress my BF’s mum has bought for her sisters wedding in Mid March, which immediately follows a two week trip to Disney World Florida

Get potatoes please. King Edward or Maris Piper.

the Russians erupting off the bench will warm even your frostbitten heart

Disaster for Seagulls

She loved it!

Oh shit I forgot about that!

"I probably need to be stopped from whatever it is that I'm thinking of doing."

It involves frogspawn and my bizarre eco-garden.

‘I’d be happy with a good sleep’

Panic Over

Some terrifying videos from Heathrow!

‘If you want you can come and inspect my waxing x‘

Sick and wrong lol

"Can you come in because (DS) needs toilet"

"No way! Sorry Ru Paul 🙈"

Yeah , the blue one is nice

Sorry I've only just seen your message.