The title of your memoir is the last text you sent

[IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece]

Inspired by the ridiculousness of mine.

“There’s a pube on my bloody donut”

*you

50 mins 😜

Was it an Audi wanker?

I'll say goodnight, then

It's not your fault.

"I'm outside"

That actually sounds quite creepy when taken out of context

Sorry about the swearing, I'm a bit cross

Ooh nice.

Checking for squirrels

Just about to leave via Lidl

Looking like you’re doing a runner

I'll come at half 3.

'Ok.'
Not a bad title.

Good-oh. Will see you there.

Is this your ladder?

Rose is getting another puppy!

"Cheers to this time last week"

I mean it’s good for us but how embarrassing
(Inspired by the fact Man City lost to Spurs) 😜

IPlayer. Courtroom drama. V good.

@FourTeaFallOut

"Fine"

I don't think it really draws the reader in.

:o

Mine would be "Tram is probably best"

Sounds like something that would interest 3yo DS and nobody else :o

Mine is "WHERE ARE YOU YOU ARSEHOLE" 😁😁

Unsurprisingly revolting

(Quite fitting 😁)

Just completely random bad luck

Sounds about right 😂

I love jigsaws