The title of your memoir is the last text you sent

[IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece]

Inspired by the ridiculousness of mine.

“There’s a pube on my bloody donut”

No idea what I'm supposed to be doing next week, but I'm here if you need me.

Como estas?

Text sent to DD1.

You staying for tea?

Pretty good title imo! Kids' friends always here, I'm cooking, always asking if they're staying for tea

"Looks good"

My texts are usually much more interesting and chatty but it was in response to a photo from a sibling who had completed a diy project!

Ok Bye .

@ShowerOfShite

Drives ok but I miss my Audi.

@ShowerOfShite This is very damn near the reply to mine (Let’s call it the sequel):

“Money deposited, love the Scirocco”

I was dropping money off to my mechanic, I bought his Audi off him last year. His reply was “it’s ok but I miss my Audi - more comfortable”

bedding!

I tried to keep her awake in the car so it would be easier at bedtime

No early night needed here, what with all the napping.

We should toilet paper nans grave

It's a private family joke and we definitely won't be doing it

Lovely 🥰 see you then x x x

The puppy just jumped up and bit my nipple. I don't like him anymore

"Do you still mind watching the kids on Tuesday? One of them might be harbouring the 'Rona. 🤷🏻‍♀️"

It hurts my brain.

“Have bought milk. No weissbier.”

Yeah. LOL

Practicing for Monday?

OK Mum.

I haz a fwiend

They do indeed say “search it up” as opposed to Google it. Social media’s influence as main souce of info innit.

I mean perhaps not a memoir, but a possible subtitle for a dissertation on tweens use of digital media.

Reading all yours makes me realise how...wordy some of mine are

Brilliant, it's snowing here 😫

“Don’t go wandering around the city centre”

To DS who is supposed to get the late bus straight after cinema but likes to “people watch” at night in the city…..

My freezer food didn't survive 🤣

Ffs

By mistake