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Original poster

DH considering becoming a doctor

349 replies

pinkgingham · 11/02/2022 23:02

Posting here in case anyone has experience/advice they can share.

DH is 37 and in a fairly good career type role but it doesn't motivate him (it could uncharitably be called a bullshit job).

He wanted to study medicine at uni but instead did politics (got some dodgy career advice at school and was the first in his family to go uni).

He's wanted to retrain for many years but it didn't make sense whilst we were trying to buy a house, have kids etc.

He's now considering it properly for the first time. Unfortunately he has had to spend a lot of time in hospital recently due to serious illness in his family and it's really brought home to him that what the medical staff do is so meaningful, which is a direct contrast to his job (in his view).

We've worked out that we could afford to live on my salary for a few years if needed whilst he was studying, I appreciate that the hours are crazy and sometimes unpredictable and that it would put a lot more of the childcare burden on me. I still think it's worth it though as he has a lot of years left to work and you only get one life and it's a long time to waste in a job you think is meaningless. He would love to do it but is always more cautious than me.

Is this totally mad? Do people actually do this at 37? What do we need to consider?

OP posts:
FoamBurst · 11/02/2022 23:06

I'd say go for it. If it's what he really wants. The childcare will get easier. Especially as when he qualifies and more erratic hours the children will be older And more independent.

BitcherOfBlakiven · 11/02/2022 23:08

GEM is more competitive than normal entry medicine, so brace yourself.

BitcherOfBlakiven · 11/02/2022 23:08

@FoamBurst

I'd say go for it. If it's what he really wants. The childcare will get easier. Especially as when he qualifies and more erratic hours the children will be older And more independent.
The hours are erratic as soon as the clinical years start and it takes around a decade depending on specialty to get any better.

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Bideyinn · 11/02/2022 23:09

My bil retrained in medicine in his thirties. A huge amount of work but definitely doable

pinksquash13 · 11/02/2022 23:09

Good luck to him. Sounds amazing to follow your dream.

tubbythumpy · 11/02/2022 23:12

How old are your kids

My friend did this but dropped out due to the pressure - but he was single and no children.

I would be a bit worried I think.

Stompythedinosaur · 11/02/2022 23:15

It will be quite a few years for the training though. And much of his time with much younger students which may not be ideal for him.

Junior medic is not at all an easy role, poor working conditions, long hours with little predictability, more exams to take alongside working.

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/02/2022 23:15

No, not mad at all,
I think you’re both quite, quite remarkable.
All the best.
We all need people like you.

RussianSpy101 · 11/02/2022 23:17

I think he should go for it! Nothing worth having comes easy and it’s amazing he is able to pursue his dream. Good luck to him.

FazedNotPhased · 11/02/2022 23:19

My partner is a doctor. I'll be honest - it's shit. I can't rely on him to be home for any particular time, or to be free for any particular event. Weekends, nightshifts, long days...it's relentless. I am very proud of him but envious of anyone with a partner who has a typical working pattern (I am aware that doctors aren't the only ones etc etc). It's just hard, and it was particularly hard when he was in foundation training. He couldn't even stay awake sitting up in a chair eating his supper. I was very lonely because we'd moved away for his work, and that's where he always was.

Relatedly, you should also be aware that training posts are not necessarily tied to the area you live in - he could end up posted at the other end of the country, or at least in another county.

Sorry to be a downer. It's better now, but we're younger than your DH and DP is very nearly a consultant. Your DH won't be one of those until he's nearly sixty.

rambleonplease · 11/02/2022 23:20

People do it in their late 30's for sure. It's tough, I would say more tough once you qualify and then work as an F1 and then F2. Pay is not great then either. So that would take you to 7 years.

But at the end of the day if wanting to do medicine has been in him for this long then go for it! We need more Drs in this world.

mocktail · 11/02/2022 23:22

I would be pretty apprehensive to be honest. 5-6 years at uni and then who knows where he'd be working - it could be quite far away and unpredictable for a few years.

But potentially a very rewarding and worthwhile career.... There would be a lot of sacrifices for you, him and the kids in order to achieve it. Do you know any doctors you could chat to to get a realistic idea of what to expect?

CelticPromise · 11/02/2022 23:26

Would he consider another health profession? I would have fancied medicine, had I been single and unencumbered... Retrained late 30s in an allied health profession, no regrets.

Peregrina · 11/02/2022 23:27

Why not apply to Medical School and see how he gets on? If it's a No with that, there might be some other profession allied to medicine that he could try for instead.

OverTheHandlebars · 11/02/2022 23:31

I think being a medical student would be the easiest bit. After you've graduated there's no guarantee that you'll get a job near where you live, and will have to apply for further training posts once if not twice. Each time there is no guarantee of being offered a job anywhere near where you're based, and competition rates having been increasing every year. It's an absolute nightmare to try and plan a life.

Being an FY1 (first year graduate) is pretty rubbish when you're in your 20s and have no responsibilities. The idea of doing it in your 40s is even worse. Sorry to sound so negative, but the life of a junior doctor is very difficult. I would suggest that he checks out the junior doctor forum on reddit if he'd like to get more of an idea about what it's really like.

GreenLunchBox · 11/02/2022 23:31

37 is too old
Nevermind the fact that Graduate medicine is ridiculously competitive

AwkwardPaws27 · 11/02/2022 23:33

We've worked out that we could afford to live on my salary for a few years if needed whilst he was studying

Graduate Entry Medicine is 4 years but entry is competitive. Can you support him for that long? Bear in mind he'll need to pay at least a proportion of the first year tuition fees too (a partial loan is available, but the NHS bursary starts in 2nd year).

Maybe consider something like Physicians Associate - shorter training period. It's not the same as being a doctor, but may fulfil what he's looking for?

Didyousaynutella · 11/02/2022 23:38

Has he thought about training as a physicians associate? It’s a relatively new profession. Sort of bridge between nurse and Dr in terms of autonomy. It pays band 7 when qualified (38-46k). They take on graduates. Not sure what sort of degree you need. Obviously not as as lucrative in the long term as a Dr but a hell of a lot less pain getting qualified.

spotcheck · 11/02/2022 23:43

got some dodgy career advice at school and was the first in his family to go uni

Jesus..... everyone likes to blame someone for the decisions they didn't make.

Theredjellybean · 11/02/2022 23:45

Lots of people do it.
There are several medical schools now that are graduate entry only, including the new med school in Chester that I think is taking its first cohort next year.
Medicine is five yrs, then FY 1 and 2 yrs.
Whatever people say on here, most FY doctors stay in the area they trained. Attached to the post graduate deanery. So if your husband went to say Manchester University, most FY posts are within the hospitals that Manchester uni is joined to.
This is because your FY1 you are still the responsibility of the uni as you only have provisional regi with the GMC.
So while you might get a job within the area rather than at the nearest hospital you cannot be sent to the other end of the country.
After FY2 it depends on what specialty he wants to pursue.
Things like being a GP involve three more yrs in hospital with some gp time.
Again you apply to a post graduate region, and can get posted round that area, but you can't get posted out of region so not to other end of UK.
Some regions are huge though, for example South West covers Gloucester to Cornwall.
Some specialties have shorter run through training, so dermatology for example, you could do it in five years.
So from starting med school to consultant would take approx 12 yrs.
FY Years are not brilliant pay, but it gets better as you progress.
It's tough but not undoable
Obviously if he has heart set on surgical career rather than more time friendly such as dermatology it will be tougher.
I'd be asking him what he wants to do after med school.. If it's make a difference, be meaningful etc tell him to go into politics and change the NHS... Working as a doctor won't give him chance to do much meaningful stuff

TheUsualChaos · 11/02/2022 23:51

God no. Not with a young family. The early years in medicine are awful. Endless unsocial hours and moving around for placements. It would be extremely hard on all of you.

Longingforatikihut · 11/02/2022 23:53

Have him look into physicians associate. It's a growing medical profession, currently bigger abroad. It's 2 years training including placements. Better hours for both training and employment. They should be prescribing by the time he qualifies. A colleague is going to graduate this year and says it's great. And I know of many in my hospital working in various fields including surgery, emergency medicine, OBS and gyne, oncology....

Namenic · 11/02/2022 23:53

Does he care about a particular speciality? Some are v competitive and you have to move around the country to progress. Do you own a house and do you have kids at school? If so - look at where the boundaries of your local deanery are - you may need to be posted to different hospitals over quite a large area. This may necessitate a long commute or moving house/school. Do some work as a healthcare assistant at weekends (average of 48hrs per week - so 1 day per weekend on top of a normal job would be normal) - it would give some idea of what hospital is like.

OverTheHandlebars · 11/02/2022 23:54

Some of that advice from Theredjellybean is not quite accurate. FY1 posts are not determined by which university you went to. You rank all regions of the country and are then assigned one depending on your application score and the order you ranked the different regions. My university and FY1 posts were 200 miles apart (by preference), but I know of poorly ranking students who ended up being placed in FY1 posts very far away in places they had no link to.

If he envisages himself in a non-competitive specialty, for example GP, then location is much easier to manage. If he might fancy something competitive then its often a matter of going wherever you can get a training post. Dermatology is incredibly competitive, and cannot be achieved faster than 8 years after graduating (6 years after foundation training).

It is doable if he really wants, but I can think of many easier ways to get a meaningful career.

dipdye · 11/02/2022 23:54

Would he actually get accepted?

Or would he have to do A levels etc?