What secrets do you know that you wish you didn't!

[BubbleBathBitch]

I have a couple of secrets that I wish I didn't know, one of them has only transpired this week which has prompted this thread.

I know who the father of my friends child is. She doesn't know that I know. The child keeps asking who her father is and friend won't tell them. Now that I know I wish I didn't!

My other one is that (a different) friend of mine has 3 younger siblings. The 4 of them thought they all had the same dad - they don't. In fact there are 4 different dads. My friend knows this but her siblings don't.

It makes me feel so uncomfortable knowing MASSIVE things like this when the people involved don't know which got me thinking, just to lighten my load - what secrets do you know that you wish you didn't!?

[MimiDaisy11]

@Norgie

My married niece doesn't want children, but her husband does.
She confided in me that she has been having the depo contraceptive injection since he said that he'd like them to try for a family, and he doesn't know. He just thinks that for some reason, a pregnancy isn't happening naturally.

I don’t see that having a happy ending. What’ll happen when he presses her to go together for fertility treatment. The doctor will see in notes she’s been on contraception.

[StopStartStop]

My dad thought I wasn't his for the first sixty-plus years of my life. When he'd been dna tested, i secretly had mine tested too, and came up with the result 'YY is your father'. He was so insistent on seeing it for himself, my suspicions were raised and I asked. He'd thought I was the offspring of another man. And treated me as such, for my whole life. He's no better now. They fuck you up, your mum and dad.

[StopStartStop]

A lovely, happy woman, mother of three teenagers, adores her husband. His work takes him away from home a lot. He shags around.

A married woman's work brings her into contact with a single man she's been shagging since the end of 2016. She takes her teenage son with her as 'cover' when she wants time with her boyfriend, or says she's going to visit her adult daughter. Some of her friends know about the man on the side.

[Nc123]

My ex stepdad was adopted. Wanted to know about his natal family but the only information in the records was about the birth mum - nothing about the birth dad at all.

Years later, I discovered by total accident that his birth father was a well known criminal and gangster operating in that part of the city, and regularly in the papers. I struggled with whether or not to make contact with my ex-stepdad to tell him, and decided not to as i didnt think it would do any good.

My stepdad looks more like this man than any of his other children.

[forthebothofus]

On a night out with my sister, she was raped after we split up to get trains home. I found out when she asked to meet her next morning at hospital. It has had a big impact on her, but she has never told her DH, just me and her best friend.

[NannyOggsWhiskyStash]

@RobertSmithsLipstick

I know that someone slept with his mum's identical twin sister.

Ugh. Imagine if the mum found out.

[Mirrormirrorontheball]

I can’t actually disclose them as I’ve promised not to. Someone is pretending to be much more unstable than they are. Someone else I know is making threats they have no intention of carrying out to distract people from their actual motives.
People can see pattern and motive in one group’s behaviour but are totally oblivious to another group which is behaving in the same way, albeit more subtle and covert. But if they did see it, it would undermine everything they had always believed in.
Things we see happening today were started many years ago and have already been acted upon.

[NightmareSlashDelightful]

A friend of mine has cancer. He hasn't told anyone, besides me and I think his ex-partner. It's pretty advanced. It's one of those things where I wish I either didn't know, or that everybody knew. I understand and respect his wishes to keep it to himself but it creates awkwardness, anxiety and will be sad and hurtful to a lot of people after he's gone.

[5thnonblonde]

That ExH cheated on his now GF with me for months. I told her we’d been sleeping together before I knew he was having an affair and it was dismissed as sour grapes. Apparently he’d never cheat on her as it’s different with her 🌝

[FridaRose]

@5thnonblonde

That ExH cheated on his now GF with me for months. I told her we’d been sleeping together before I knew he was having an affair and it was dismissed as sour grapes. Apparently he’d never cheat on her as it’s different with her 🌝

I'm sorry but who's the 🤡 here?
They're off to the sunset with their new relationship whilst you were a second hand carpet for him.
And his gf thinks and prob tells people that you're cray.

[FridaRose]

@forthebothofus

On a night out with my sister, she was raped after we split up to get trains home. I found out when she asked to meet her next morning at hospital. It has had a big impact on her, but she has never told her DH, just me and her best friend.

How sad she had to go through the aftermath alone. Wonder why she couldn't tell her husband? Was she worried he might not feel the same about her? What happened wasn't her fault

[NeverDropYourMooncup]

I'm sorry but what the fuck is this. You've read your DP's exes medical records


Oh, no - that came across wrong. I dealt with his ex as a normal part of my then job about nine years before I met DP and, for good or bad, I do remember the circumstances, names and suchlike of particular patients.

In this case, a combination of medical necessity, the legal framework around terminations and pressures on waiting lists, tests, appointments and theatre time plus other people being less than helpful because they have a legal right to not participate which I absolutely fucking hate meant I'd done a fair bit of running around and calling in favours to get the patient seen before she would have been out of time - whilst taking almost daily phone calls from her where she divulged a lot of information in her panic. It's not as if she could tell anybody she actually knew, after all.


My point is that I know these things and DP never will. Because confidentiality.

I could declare that I knew somebody at the time (these days you can withdraw from dealing with them but then it was seen as responsible to tell your manager so they were aware - but it didn't change what you were expected to do), but I can't excuse myself from knowing these things because I might meet somebody connected nearly a decade later.

I've had similar in other jobs where somebody says 'I'm sure I know you from somewhere' and I remember exactly where but have no intention of telling them it was during a hugely traumatic time for them - not in public and not in private; it can be very upsetting to be reminded of such a time and think that there's somebody at your current workplace or vaguely connected to your personal life who knows all about it.

[BlueGlasses]

I was reproducing a death certificate from a death register (as part of my then job). On the same page (2 entries per page) was for a woman who had committed suicide in the house my sister was then living in. She had bought it from the husband of the deceased and had no idea of it's history.
She still owns the house, but thankfully no longer lives there.

[NCforSecretsThread]

Namechanged for this.

I know of a VERY famous Hollywood actress who donated her eggs some years ago, resulting in two successful births.

[LadyGAgain]

@RobertSmithsLipstick

I know that someone slept with his mum's identical twin sister.

He slept with his Auntie who looks exactly like his mum?? That's gross. And illegal!

[RobertSmithsLipstick]

Much like a lot of the situations posted in this thread then.

[honeylulu]

In the very early days of knowing my husband and before we got together as a couple he told me, on a fairly drunken night out, that his parents had married just a couple of weeks before his sister (the eldest) was born but he'd realised from thinking about the dates (his parents are from different countries and first met after MIL's family had moved for a particular job) that they couldn't have met until after the time MIL conceived. It also explained some rather barbed comments he remembered his paternal grandmother making along the lines of how surprisingly early SIL had been born etc.

He has never mentioned or inferred it again and we've been together 27 years so I've always assumed he either wishes he hadn't told me or forgot he told me and would rather I didn't know. I'm certainly not going to raise it but it's always felt a bit strange that it's hanging at the back of my mind. I've no idea if SIL has ever worked it out or given it any thought at all. Maybe she has but isn't at all curious (fair enough). Both PIL are dead now so the time to ask would be gone.

[Waxonwaxoff0]

I saw a male work colleague snogging another female work colleague on a staff night out (I was the only one who saw). Male colleague recently got engaged to his girlfriend who I've met a few times. I'm assuming she doesn't know and I'm not getting involved in the drama of others.

[Mummapenguin20]

I couldnt hold some of these secrets

[Yesthatscorrect]

A girl I know and would call a friend although not a close one (would only see her in a group) is adopted. I know and she doesn't. A mutual friend found out when she worked in a place with her that does extensive background checks and someone from HR gossiped about it.

[Yesthatscorrect]

Oh and I'll never tell my mam that the husband of the friend she's just spent the weekend with (thankfully with a different partner now) spent over two years grooming and sexually abusing me from the age of 13.

To be fair the wife didn't know. It would do no one any good to bring it up now.

[Hawkins001]

@LadyGAgain

Not in the UK, it's only illegal if it's direct blood line

[Hawkins001]

@Mirrormirrorontheball

I can’t actually disclose them as I’ve promised not to. Someone is pretending to be much more unstable than they are. Someone else I know is making threats they have no intention of carrying out to distract people from their actual motives.
People can see pattern and motive in one group’s behaviour but are totally oblivious to another group which is behaving in the same way, albeit more subtle and covert. But if they did see it, it would undermine everything they had always believed in.
Things we see happening today were started many years ago and have already been acted upon.

Seems a theme with history, you get the "visionaries" that have x plans, then years rather than e.g. Weeks, the plans unfold and take shape.

[JakeyRolling]

My uncle tells everyone he and his wife split because she was a member of a swingers club.

The truth is he is a regular user of prostitutes and was bringing them to the marital home.

My grandparents don't/didn't know the truth and he is very much the favourite of their three sons. And it's nauseating to to hear DGM (and DGF when he was alive) go on about how wonderful he is and how awful my aunt (who is actually lovely) is.

Since my DGF died and my DGM slipped further into dementia he's done fuck all to help, with DF and other DU doing 90% of the caring.

Recent talk of putting her in a home (for her own safety at this point) resulted in the disgusting specimen opining "oh, that will eat into the capital (of the house".

We all reckon that as soon as he inherits none of us will ever hear from again - unless he blows it all on more prostitutes and comes looking for a hand out. 🙄

[ESGdance]

@Yesthatscorrect

Oh and I'll never tell my mam that the husband of the friend she's just spent the weekend with (thankfully with a different partner now) spent over two years grooming and sexually abusing me from the age of 13.

To be fair the wife didn't know. It would do no one any good to bring it up now.

I am so sorry that you were attacked as a child. However it might do you a lot of good to bring it into an appropriate, safe and controlled setting.

It doesn’t mean that you have to initiate a criminal investigation but you could access a sexual abuse charity and have some therapy to heal you - you deserve that.

Beyond that if you chose to involve your DM, her friend or the police that would be a different choice to make at another time.

You won’t have been the first or the last of his victims. These people are prolific - he may have already been charged.