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Original poster

What secrets do you know that you wish you didn't!

181 replies

BubbleBathBitch · 21/01/2022 12:46

I have a couple of secrets that I wish I didn't know, one of them has only transpired this week which has prompted this thread.

I know who the father of my friends child is. She doesn't know that I know. The child keeps asking who her father is and friend won't tell them. Now that I know I wish I didn't!

My other one is that (a different) friend of mine has 3 younger siblings. The 4 of them thought they all had the same dad - they don't. In fact there are 4 different dads. My friend knows this but her siblings don't.

It makes me feel so uncomfortable knowing MASSIVE things like this when the people involved don't know which got me thinking, just to lighten my load - what secrets do you know that you wish you didn't!?

OP posts:
Norgie · 22/01/2022 20:58

My married niece doesn't want children, but her husband does.
She confided in me that she has been having the depo contraceptive injection since he said that he'd like them to try for a family, and he doesn't know. He just thinks that for some reason, a pregnancy isn't happening naturally.

amusedbush · 22/01/2022 21:09

Ten years ago my friend got pregnant accidentally and she went back and forth about keeping the baby. She admitted to me that she had been sleeping with two men, sometimes a day apart. No judgement for that, however, I judge her for what came next: she decided to keep the baby and just told the guy she liked best that he was the father. She didn't do a DNA test and she had no way of knowing whose baby it was due to the overlap in dates.

She never told anyone that there were two potential fathers and, as far as the man knows, he has a child. He later went back to live in his home country but he still has frequent contact with the child, sends gifts, money, flies thousands of miles to visit at his own expense, etc.

JustJustWhy · 22/01/2022 21:47

[quote TwoLeftSocksWithHoles]@justjudtwhy
How does being an "evil twin of Elton John" manifest itself exactly? 😂

My guess is - plays the piano like Les Dawson whilst singing Black Sabbath songs? Hmm[/quote]
THANK YOU

I'll be able to sleep now! 😂

Heartofglass12345 · 22/01/2022 21:50

All through comp I knew 2 girls who were a year and 2 years younger than me in the same school, were my half sisters. We had the same dad. My mum had told me their names. They had no idea who I was, it was really hard but I ever bothered saying anything because he was a crap dad to me. Funnily enough, they had his surname but I didn't as I changed mine to match my other older sisters on my mums side who I lived with.
He got my mum pregnant, left, got their mum pregnant twice and married her, left her and went back to my mum by the time I was 3!

It was especially hard when I was around 18 I worked in a factory with one of my sisters I grew up with on my mums side and we were really close, and one of the sisters who I knew about started working there too (lots of school kids worked there when they turned 17), and she used to say she wished her and her sister had a relationship that me and my sister had as she could tell we were really close Sad

My older sister on my dads side (there are a lot of sisters in this story Grin) got in touch with one of the younger ones when I was in my late 20's and we met properly, but she went no contact with them all about a year later as something happened with her and my older sister when she was working for her.

I don't think I know anyone else's secrets!

chillydownwiththefiregang · 22/01/2022 21:51

That my PIL are actually minted. Despite making out they have no money and everything is a struggle financially. They have more in various saving pots than we do.

chillydownwiththefiregang · 22/01/2022 21:51

Quite a lot more. More than double.

percypigwig · 22/01/2022 22:00

BIL has cheated on his now wife many times when they were younger. She found out about one lot of cheating but not the rest. Myself, DH and his DP all know about the rest. Feels very wrong really and he is still a self-centered twat..

Abigail12345654321 · 22/01/2022 22:05

The now-wife of a relative asked me to explain something in her maternity notes.

She had become pregnant soon after they got together. Told him she believed she was infertile as she was unable to conceive in previous long term relationship.

She presumably didn’t realise her previous abortions would be evident to me from her notes.

By then she was too far along to abort. I decided to say nothing.

Have always wondered if I should have told him. Wish I’d never seen it.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 22/01/2022 22:15

I know DP's ex wife terminated a pregnancy when they were first married. DP knows about it. What he doesn't know is that it wasn't his. And neither is the child that he thinks is - and she has used as a weapon to punish him with since he left several years later.

It's one of the reasons why I always get annoyed when I read threads on here saying that admin staff in GPs and hospitals are all gossips. No we fucking aren't.

Wheresmywoolyjumpers · 22/01/2022 22:21

@Sportycustard

My grandmother always promised me her wedding ring but she didn't leave a will and someone else took the ring.

I was handed a bag of granny's jewellery which was thought to be not worth much...except one of the pieces is worth around £7k. I only found out when it went in for repair so I could wear it. It's a very famous jewellery brand.

No one else knows. I don't know whether to spill the beans.

My aunts would probably sell it and take the money. I wear the item and will hand it on to my daughter.

Sometimes I feel guilty, sometimes I don't.

Oh @Sportycustard, something similar happened to me. When my grandmother died all of her good jewellery was taken by the officious aunt who claimed that my gran had wanted all the good stuff to go to her and her daughter. Which was total bullshit. Because I had not wanted to take stuff when my gran was trying to give it to me before she died (big mistake on my part, I should have gone along when she wanted to), I wanted a keepsake. Was given a bag of total crap costume jewellery to look through that I did not even recognize, and managed to find, in the bottom, one thing I remember her wearing. Turned out to be real and expensive. When said aunt found it she demanded it back. I told her to fuck off and told her I did not believe her bullshit about my grandmas wishes. If I were you, I would just keep quiet.
EmmotionalRescue · 22/01/2022 22:35

My sister and BIL have another man in their relationship. It’s a friend of the BIL. I found it by accident while helping out at her home. Face unlock unlocked her phone, and it was what I assumed was porn video, except it was a recording of the three of them. I will say that she seems very happier in general in life, so it must be working for her!!

St0rmTr00per · 22/01/2022 22:46

I know my grandad had a 30 year affair with the same woman. Its an open secret in our family but when anyone told Grandma she would call them liars. She died recently and he brought OW to the funeral and moved her into grandmas house within a week.

I know my brother had 2 sons with high school girlfriend. He then cheated on her with his future wife. Future wife liked to pretend they met after he left his ex. In time they married and had 2 daughters. She wanted their 2 daughters to think this was his first family so they just airbrushed ex and the boys out and never told the girls. His sons lived within a 10 minute walk of my brother and he did not acknowledge them. When the girls hit their teens I suggested he tell them, incase one of them started dating her own brother. He said no, his wife would leave him and take them if he did. Wife then died and he now says hes left it too late to tell them and they would never forgive him if he did.

(I kept some contact with his ex when the boys were small but she eventually cut contact with us and said it was too confusing for them. I still see her in town sometimes though)

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 22/01/2022 22:48

I can't say what it is as terribly outing but I hold a huge secret that would destroy the entire family and bring it all crashing down if I decided to tell.
I've kept it for decades and the weight crushes me. But to let it out would destroy people that I love so I never will.
I'll be glad when the person concerned is dead so I can move on.

CherryRipe1 · 22/01/2022 22:48

That an elderly female freind was a man. I was a bit stunned when told in confidence but am hey ho now and just think of her as a woman & that's it.

My freinds daughter told me in tears whilst drunk that she is gay & having an long term affair with another girl whilst in an outwardly perfect marriage. She can't come out as parents are quite old fashioned & pushed her into marriage as husband is loaded.

St0rmTr00per · 22/01/2022 23:33

@CoastalWave

Her mum surely deserves to know her daughter isn't dead? I would imagine not knowing is actually 100x worse than having bad news in some respects.

Depends what her mum did or was privy to (if anything) as to what she deserves. I'm assuming happy people don't play dead for 30 years and have contact with nobody in their family without good reason.

KloppsTeeth · 23/01/2022 01:36

@JustJustWhy Evil twin of Elton John exMIL. Imagine Elton John in a twin set, librarian glasses and being vile to everyone she meets for no reason. When my eldest was a toddler, if ever he saw Elton John on the telly, he would point and say “Nan!” so he decided they were one and the same Grin She’s a bosom hoiking badass on a mission to spoil anyone she meets day.

PollyPepper · 23/01/2022 02:10

My mum slept with my sisters future husband, before they got together. Got I wish I could wash my brain of that one.

PollyPepper · 23/01/2022 02:13

@NeverDropYourMooncup

I know DP's ex wife terminated a pregnancy when they were first married. DP knows about it. What he doesn't know is that it wasn't his. And neither is the child that he thinks is - and she has used as a weapon to punish him with since he left several years later.

It's one of the reasons why I always get annoyed when I read threads on here saying that admin staff in GPs and hospitals are all gossips. No we fucking aren't.

I'm sorry but what the fuck is this. You've read your DP's exes medical records???!
Hawkins001 · 23/01/2022 02:15

@PollyPepper

My mum slept with my sisters future husband, before they got together. Got I wish I could wash my brain of that one.
I'm guessing a Mrs Robinson type situation ?
Moneypennysfreedomfund · 23/01/2022 02:17

My dad cheated on his lovely partner multiple times … I am ashamed of him

Dobz · 23/01/2022 02:22

My brothers or my sister don't that my sister is no my Dad's. He told myself and my husband one night after a few. I sort of quizzed my ma about it, but no joy. So I probed my uncle and he said that it's nothing to do with him. My mums old now, I don't if I should tell my sister now or you know after mum.

Worriedgranmasmithy · 23/01/2022 02:22

Years ago a friend of mine admitted she’d married her husband because he was a safe bet, she wanted four children, a big house in the country, and someone who would be faithful. She was still besotted by an ex, he was godfather to at least one of her children, her method of him staying in touch. Her husband though the world of her and I’ve always thought he was short changed in love. In the end I couldn’t be friends with her knowing this and they moved to some rural place and we lost touch twenty years or so ago. I often wonder if they are still together or she’s back with her ex.

Kshhuxnxk · 23/01/2022 03:08

My DP has a sister who was adopted. His DB doesn't know..

FridaRose · 23/01/2022 03:45

@Totalwasteofpaper

That my uncle repeatedly raped my cousin (his daughter) and his wife was complicit in it.

I hate that I know.
I hate that my mum knows all this and still talks to them both.
I hate listening to my cousin talk about what a sweet pet her poor excuse for a mother is.

Every detail of this messed up situation made me feel ill; I feel so sorry for you.

Have you confronted your mum or asked how can she talk to them?

Cousin is brainwashed or damaged it's so sad.

Hydrate · 23/01/2022 03:51

I know a relative is very ill and could die any time, they are have sworn me to secrecy from the rest of the family.

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