(Wrong) English etiquette guides for Europeans.

[GaiusHelenMohiam]

I was chatting to a customer yesterday at work. She’s lived in the UK for a few years but has yet to make any meaningful female friendships, works with a load of blokes who she gets on fine with but is looking for real friendship.

Anyway, one of the first things she said to me was ‘you have beautiful eyes’ which was lovely if a bit out of nowhere (and I did wonder if she was chatting me up).

A little bit later we ended up chatting at the bar and she told me about the friends thing and that she was reading a book (in her language) about English etiquette and that apparently the done thing is to find something to compliment your new acquaintance on.

I think this is great, if slightly bonkers advice, and I wish it really was an English thing to do. I always make a point of sincerely complimenting people on a particular dress, shoes, etc but it’s not routine.

I did say to her I’d probably steer clear of commenting on hair, eyes or anything physical, because it can come across a bit intense, and that it’s not particularly a very British thing to do but I think it should be.

I just love the idea that there are books floating around Europe with completely off base ways of behaving more like the locals when you move to the UK.

I’m really curious what else her book tells her but alas I didn’t get a chance to ask before closing time. If she comes back I’ll find out.

[quote tomorrowalready]@OnlyAFleshWound, isn't 'stand on the left on escalotors ' the misleading British etiquette joke? Though 'don't make eye contact@ should be do make eye contact to complete the joke. Shouldn't it? though again I never 'got ' how everyone else seems to know the rules and I didn't.[/quote]
I wasn't sure if it was meant to be a joke or not...

There's no doubt about that one. It's shouted out over the tannoy every three minutes.

@limitedperiodonly

This is a great example of British ignorance while expecting foreigners to know all the details about Britain and the constituent countries

Really @PuffinShop? I couldn't give a fuck.

@limitedperiodonly Neither could I That was actually my point. I don't expect foreigners to give a fuck about the details of UK geography.

Then we are as one @PuffinShop

Another came to mind. If you offer a Canadian a "brew" it is most likely they will think you are offering beer. In certain Canadian crowds a beer might even be referred to as a "brewski." Don't ask, it would take too long to explain.

Yet on English TV shows, I have learned that a "brew" means tea.

@kavalkada

There was an advice in my english book (written by two british guys): if you want to practice your english in UK, it is best if you sit by an older person on the bus and start talking with them about weather or good old days. It also said that old people are often lonely and will be grateful to you if you start talking with them.

Years later when I went for the first time to UK, I did everything not to follow their advice.

The book also said that British people always eat meat with marmelade. It was very funny book, when I think of it.

I know this post is very old but it amused me - and someone's response saying she did often have conversations with older strangers - because when DP and I lived in southern Spain for a while, we were quite often engaged in conversation by old ladies on a particular bus route, it was a little bus that inched its way from the city centre up through the old quarter where we lived. We are two old ladies ourselves. My Spanish was usually just about adequate but it would send DP into a mild panic. I really enjoyed it and was pleased that they hadn't immediately spotted us as foreigners!

I saw this and thought of you ....

www.mylondon.news/news/zone-1-news/i-sat-london-bus-hour-22828959

'I sat on a London bus for an hour and only 1 person said thank you - and I'm not even sure it was aimed at the driver'

@Snoken

I'm not British and now live in the north-west of England. Here the word "hi" seems to have been replaced by "you alright?". Apparently it doesn't mean how are you doing, you are not meant to say how you feel, you just say "you alright" back and carry on with your day. I still can't do it though, I always say how I am, and then ask them back. It puzzles people.

I have a Danish friend who I met while we were both au pairs in France. Her English was impeccable, but after a while she told me that when we met and I used to great her with Hiya, she thought I was asking How are you? and always answered Fine thanks. I never even noticed!