What did Mumsnet do to you?

[ThanksMN]

(Lighthearted)

What have you learned from mumsnet - good and bad?

I came here all wide-eyed and innocent with good intentions, responding to every single @ because not doing so would be like ignoring someone when they say something to you irl; standing up for random posters on threads when someone's having a go at them; replying 'you're welcome' to every 'thank you' because that's what I do irl; thinking everyone cared; feeling so shaky and scared whenever someone responded to me in the typical aggressive/disagreeable MN way, etc.

• Now, after spending yeeeaarsss on and off mn, I have to say I now have nerves of steel! So that's a positive!

• I no longer do all the others as much because I notice most people don't at all and I'm a weirdo!

• I've taken up gossiping...but only online!

• I'm now highly aware that everyone hates everything and people judge you in secret irl.

• I came here saying full words like husband, child, son, daughter, etc then felt I was being too formal and "pretentious" when everyone used DH, DD, DS, etc. I started using the acronyms here and I'm now learning that a lot of posters find them cringy. I'm not sure if to go back or continue.

• To put "lighthearted" on threads or face the wrath of the gods!

What has MN done to you?

Anyone else or just me?

Bad - there are people that hate dogs.

Good - there are people that love dogs.

I will never ever use the acronyms. Just write husband, it really doesn't take that long!

Taught me about feminism.

MN made me into an acronym user too.

MN told me to buy a steam generator iron and it changed my life. I love my SGI more than my DH now. 😁

It made me depressed on and off for years. Have to take a break every now and then.

The amount of people that judge others in real life really sent me on a spiral. My anxiety went through the roof! I thought everyone in real life must be batching about me and judging my decisions.
Especially the ones who are savagew about being a SAHM. What happens if those people saying those horrible things are my friends or family...?

It's not for the faint hearted is it?!

I spend too much on clothes
Mumsnet world is populated with a lot of extreme introverts who won't anser the door or the telephone
Mumsnetters have big boobs

That I made the right decision not having children, which I guess is controversial to say here.

Things I came for and expected from MN:

• Bf support which is what I came for & those women were amazing 🧡
• Odd bits of parenting advice

Unexpected but awesome things:

• How to set boundaries in all types of relationships
• Understanding and spreading the mental load
• Robot hoover

MN made me seek out ways to be more supportive of the trans community. Seeing so much hate and negative stereotyping was sobering. I know from conversations with others that I'm not alone in this.

I've learned debating skills.

In particular I've learned that you don't have to keep arguing back. You can just walk away, it really really doesn't matter if you win.

I've learned a whole shit ton about feminism.

@CorrBlimeyGG

MN made me seek out ways to be more supportive of the trans community. Seeing so much hate and negative stereotyping was sobering. I know from conversations with others that I'm not alone in this.

same here.

I've also had some amazing support bringing up stepchildren, and genuinely incredible support through hard times when my daughter was very small.

It also made me think about washing my legs in the shower.

@CorrBlimeyGG

MN made me seek out ways to be more supportive of the trans community. Seeing so much hate and negative stereotyping was sobering. I know from conversations with others that I'm not alone in this.

Me too. I was actually gender critical and at first Munsnet was great for that, but then I saw how vile it gets. It’s made me realise I can’t associate with it, it just feels so cruel. There is a middle ground which sadly isn’t allowed to exist.

Mumsnetters watch their children all the time, every second until they are at least 18, maybe older. You should change your sheets every 3 days, minimum. And never answer your door, ever!

I agree with @IKeptYouLikeAnOath, I've practiced my 'walking away from unhealthy conversations' skills here. It's actually been very useful, because some arguments here are SO ridiculous that it makes it easy, and then I've honed the skill so that I can not get drawn in to some quite engaging stuff.

This is by far the best thread I've seen on mumsnet recently and kind of reaffirms my faith in humans.

Thanks for posting OP.

Mumsnet is no substitute for RL but a lot of people seem to need it due to lack of real connection in their lives.

I come on here as I have always wfh and don't want to live in my own bubble. But some of the stuff that gets posted makes me glad not to live in RL much of the time.

It's opened my eyes to a few things, but mostly just reminded me how horrible people can be to each other. Especially women 😔

I thought I was MC, but mumsnet taught me I'm from an aspirational background. I grew up with a settee, garaadge and pouffe pronounced pouffay. We thought we were a step ahead 😂

I have learned that there are phrases you should never Google.

I have become more vocal about calling out discrimination in real life.

I have discovered that there are people hiding behind their keyboards who would pick a fight with their own reflection.

I have read people giving amazing advice on all sorts of subjects as diverse as school appeals, leaky boilers and building regulations.

I'm a Woolly Hugger which is the best bit of being a MNer.

It has kept me sane and opened my eyes to just how dysfunctional my marriage was, recognising exh was a true narc was a revelation.

Found me some new true and lovely friends, one of whom is sadly no longer with us.

Provided amazing support via virtual strangers when I really needed it. If you're reading, you know who you are

Taught me that there is no limit to the amount of hours that can be spent reading random threads, the pettiest things can provide great entertainment, and that no subject is ever off limits

That Standing up for biological women is imperative. I really hadn’t seen the warning signs of Stonewalls campaigning and the misogyny.
Also JKR is marvellous.
How not to give a shit about things that don’t matter.

Feminism. And some truly lovely now RL friends over the years.

@CorrBlimeyGG

MN made me seek out ways to be more supportive of the trans community. Seeing so much hate and negative stereotyping was sobering. I know from conversations with others that I'm not alone in this.

Came into this thread 1000% expecting a post like this. Was not disappointed.

I came to MN very much a TRA. Got into some massive bun fights with GC posters. Then the JKR thing happened. And the Karen white. And stonewall telling lesbians to stop being biased. And multiple other things that TRAS insist would never happen.

I'm now uncomfortably GC and blisteringly angry about something I can't fully understand.

Also yes. Robot hoovers. Fuck me that is a game changer.

That you are either obsessively clean or a hoarder at levels seen on TV. Seems to be no middle ground!
You either love dogs (me) or run screaming from chihuahuas in the park convinced they will eat you.
You either shower daily or once every second Friday when the moon is full. No matter what, you never smell.
Parents are still parenting their kids way beyond teenage years....worrying what time their twenty somethings come home from a night out etc (although living arrangements play a part in that as they all seem to still be at home)
Toast, boden and Lucy and Yak are the go to place for shapeless uninspiring clothing that costs a ridiculous amount of money.

I learnt to type on eggshells, which is surprisingly tougher than walking on eggshells!