What some of us aren't getting is how someone going about their own day, possibly wrangling their own child (given how many of the reported performance parenting instances happen in child-centred settings), and thinking about their own stuff, is even aware of all these purported performance parenters 'looking around' for acknowledgement and admiration.
As mentioned, if someone is performance parenting, you notice. That's the whole point of them doing their little, well, performance. I completely agree, most of us just bumble along focusing on our lives, but if a performance parent sees an opportunity, you'll hear them, for sure.
I don't think I'm particularly self-absorbed, but someone performance parenting for my benefit would have to grab me by the lapels and be vocally projecting as if to fill a concert hall for me to be aware of anything more then some other person talk to their child.
Why? You can't hear someone boasting unless they grab you by the lapels? If someone is trying to get noticed, most of the time you'll notice.
I didn't experience this until my first was 4. He went to a private school, and there was a culture between maybe 5 of the mothers who had this weird "we call each other friends, but actually everything is a competition" dynamic. Amanda from motherland.
Every day, they would stand in a group waiting to pick up DC.
"Oh, here comes Fred, (loud enough to broadcast across playground) Freddddddd! Guess what, your favourite, monkfish for tea! You know, how Daddy has a boat and catches seabass, but that's only your second favourite isn't it Fred? It's your very favourite tonight!"
Then this parent would look round, so incredibly pleased with their announcement, to see who had noted that their prodigal child eats food that they obviously thought us mere mortals didn't, and most importantly who had noted Daddy has a boat. Whilst technically this is being addressed to their child, it's nothing to do with interacting with their child. Fred is just wandering over, with his mate, not giving a sod about monkfish.
There was one occasion in particular which was world book day, and all the kids looked great. Some outfits had been whipped up at home, some were shop bought. One parent from that group, had done her 5yr old up as Gandalf the White. Now. He looked epic. Fair play. But this wasn't enough. Again, at collection. This time speaking to another mother in that group, as loudly as possible "Yes, he likes Gandalf the White, he's read all the books, and he chose this. The beard? That's from America, you can't get anything decent from shops here (to ensure all parents who had bought their outfits from the shops, knew their place) and I made all the robes myself, I was so lucky really, we popped to our cottage in Cornwall over the weekend and there were lots of spare sheets"
Poor little lad had no idea. As they walked out, one guy on the way in said "Wow what a great beard! Who are you?!" And the boy said "a wizard."
I didn't need to be grabbed by the lapels to notice either performance. I don't think anyone in the playground missed them. No one cares. No one reacts. But everyone sees the performance.