What are the worst things your in laws have done or said to you?

[Awkwardusername]

Struggling a bit as my future in laws can’t stand me (or my husband to be it would seem!) but everyone around me has a great relationship with their in laws.
Anyone else got an amazing partner with awful parents and/or siblings?

Hoping this is vaguely light hearted!

My favourite: I told them I got my wedding dress from a high street shop for £200 and they told me the wedding would be “cheap and disgusting”, and that the dried flowers we’re having will be “stinking, dull and boring”. They haven’t seen the dress or the flowers!

I get on alright with my inlaws but when we told them we were expecting our first child MIL turned to me and said "well that will be you happy then you will have an excuse to quit work"

I was so shocked, I've always worked and had no intentions of quitting (we have 2 DC now and I'm still working!), it really made me realise just what she thought of me.

Tell me these people aren’t going to your wedding

My ex mil was lovely, ex fil was fine most of the time although he wasn’t happy when I left exh, they lived abroad, when they found out I’d left fil flew back to the uk to try and talk sense into me. He phoned me at work and asked me to meet him. It didn’t go the way he wanted so he threatened me financially, we had an enormous row and I ended up telling him to F off and I never saw him again. I was furious that he thought he could manipulate me to stay with his son. I phoned my exh and told him what I thought of him. Fil then phoned my parents to try and get them involved, thankfully my dad said it was my decision and that he’d always back me.

3rd trimester of pregnancy. Told in laws the baby was very tiny, dropping down percentiles, and the pregnancy was being managed on a week by week basis.

MIL said ‘that sounds very positive’.

Now we tell them nothing.

In our wedding video mil can be heard saying 'it'll never last'. When dh told her we were expecting first DC she said 'oh well it's done now'. Overall she ok but these 2 comments will never be forgotten

My in-laws told my dh that I'm not liked. I've tried my best to avoid them ever since

My ILs won't let us come and stay at their house (which is the obligatory Mumsnet 5-hour drive away from our house thank goodness) because they don't have room ....

They live in a 5-bedroom house, just the 2 of them.

FIL told me that my dad's sudden, awful death in his 60s was not a sad event, and that I had no reason to be sad about it or miss him.

I no longer speak to FIL.

The day after my mum's funeral (she died of cancer), MIL rang me in a state convinced she had cancer .... she could have spoken to her husband, either of her sons or her other daughter-in-law but no, she chose to speak to me who had literally just buried her own mother. (She didn't have cancer of course, it was all drama and attention-seeking).

I have recently been diagnosed with a painful and life-limiting (not life-shortening) medical condition, which has totally changed my life and that of my husband and children. Have my ILs bothered to ask how I am, even once? Have they heck.

They are awful!

I should add that I have no wish to stay at my ILs' house but it's the fact that they tell us that they don't have room which is so ridiculous!

DH and I had a minor row before we were engaged and widowed DMIL could see DH was upset about something and said "she's not worth it there are plenty more fish in the sea" . I think she was hoping that he'd settle down with someone local and live in his home town for the rest of his life like she did. All her other DCs had moved away or lived abroad and DH was her favourite child. She rang me a week before we got married and asked me to consider moving to her country where I didnt speak the language or have the right qualifications to work. Looking back now I can see she was just petrified of being on her own. Our relationship did improve once I'd her DGCs

I really wanted an American style fridge in our first flat. MIL ‘oh is he going to buy you a fridge?’

Er no I have my own money thanks and at the time earned more than he did.

Also still receive post to mrs ohfirstname ohsecondname. Didn’t change even my second name and am Ms.

When they came to visit dd3 on the day she was born mil said ‘well I don’t like that name and I won’t be calling her it’
Apart from that they are generally good ils but I won’t forget that comment

My MIL told me that I had killed my son. He committed suicide when he was just 22 years old.
I haven't seen her since she said that.

My MIL stopped speaking to me after I miscarried and was weird with DH. When DH and I tried to discuss it with her she told us that she "had experienced more loss in her life than we could ever comprehend" (DH dad passed when he was 17 - so that statement was pretty damn shocking). Turns out she expected to me to come round and support her after my miscarriage.

We haven't spoken to her since November 2019, life is much simpler.

My FIL essentially ignored my existence until DH and I got married. It was five years. Five years.

He is a very controlling man. MIL was welcoming, SIL and her DH too, the wider family of FIL's mother, brother and sisters also happy to talk to me and I get on well with them when we see them.

It was upsetting but he lives in another country and we don't see him much. He isn't a very kind man, really. DH is though.

Where to start? Met MIL who ignored me and only spoke to her son - would offer just him food and drink. Turned up with her son’s favourite box of chocolates and something for our eldest child but nothing for me when our second baby was born. Asked if our child would outgrow their autism. Still generally ignores me and talks to her son. There’s many more examples of passive aggressive crap but needless to say we barely have a relationship.

Uh my MIL...

Lives 10 minute walk away, forgets her Dgc exist and sees them once a month on average. Favours her middle son so much its upset my DH when he realised they never call him and when they do its just to tell us about BIL and all his amazing stories and just dont bother with him or our children at all. Real game changer when the golden BIL had a baby last year. BIL live 2hrs away so theyre running up there at every opportunity inc xmas with no regard to their youngest son or care where he was going to go. Tries to guilt trip my DH into family events so she can play dutiful grandmother even though my youngest calls her by her 1st name because she doesn't see him enough for him to realise shes his grandmother. Xmas day this year, we stayed at home and told her repeatedly we would be, then put the phone down on Dh when he told her yet again, we wouldnt be coming down. When i was pregnant with Dc2, asked me if we were finding out the gender and quite literally looked me up and down when i said yes, and exclaimed 'why an earth would you want to do that!'. Ignores me if i do attempt to speak to her. Will literally turn her head and start a conversation with someone else. If she Accidentally tells us about plans theyve made with BIL, we get 'well... you can come if you want' which is clearly not an invite. We are not allowed to spend any time with BIL without her. MIL got angry last year when we saw them for the 1st time in 18months and MIL come rushing down when she realised and she hadnt been told about it.

Its all quite trivial stuff and theres alot more but 15years of it has chipped away at me to the point ill avoid her as much as i can.im sure someone will come along and say im the horrible one and theres no suprise why shes like that towards us but i spent 10+ years trying really hard with her, but when she upset DH, that was the point i stopped.

My ex Mil used to call me by my then DP’s ex girlfriends name. One day over dinner she did it and my then DP said jokingly “you keep using the wrong name- why?!” She replied “probably because I liked her more”. At which point I replied “shame she didn’t like your son more than the neighbour she was shagging for 6 months behind his back” and promptly left the room!

When we told MIL DD2's name, she kicked off, now she is normally a quiet woman, but oh did she make her views heard. It really upset DH as he lost his DF so is very close to DMIL. We obviously used the name anyway
We needed a bigger car so found one for £3k, she rang us and said her and her DH will not let us buy that car, but will gift us £10k instead. We found a perfect car, but every car we found her DH had a problem. Either we had to haggle to price for atleast £2k 🤦🏻‍♀️ but even cheap, very close cars he wouldn't see, but wouldn't let us buy one he hasn't seen. He is 87 so just a grumpy old man. In the end we told him to shove it and we got our own
Oh, and the fact MIL walks past our house 4 times every day yet only comes to see our DD's about once a month

The first time I met my MIL she stroked my face and told me it was nice. Asked if I'd seen my DHs spotty back yet.

I once stayed at the in laws and she weirdly insisted we had her bed as it was comfier apparently. We'd been out the night before and she burst in the room at 7 am opened the curtains and pulled the duvet back, saying she wanted to see what I looked like first thing in the morning! We were naked and kinda having quiet sex I still had make up on from last night and eyelashes all over the shop!

Then when I was pregnant she said she'd be calling the baby Louise of it was a girl. I said well that's odd, and I'll just correct you. She said I won't know when the baby's at her house. Needless to say I had a boy and called him Bear, MIL has never looked after Bear alone and he's now 5. DS was 4 months when FIL just refused to see us anymore. Completely out of the blue and he just refers to DS as the one with the weird name apparently.

Funnily enough we get on ok now.

God the list is too long!!!!
MIL is selfish and self absorbed I keep her at arms length as much as possible.

Some stand out moments using my miscarriage to get sympathy from her friends and telling me how upset she was my body had rejected the baby.....

Telling me and her friends that she was our wedding planner and that our wedding would look like a day out at a petting farm....(it certainly didn't we had our reception at a historic barn!)

When we had DS coming to "help out" then ask me continously for tea, meals and sat a read her book then told us she had a lovely holiday.....

3rd trimester of pregnancy. Told in laws the baby was very tiny, dropping down percentiles, and the pregnancy was being managed on a week by week basis

MIL said ‘that sounds very positive’.
Forgive me with this but I dont understand what is wrong and it sounds like something I'd say. By saying 'it sounds positive' I would mean it's a good thing they are keeping a close eye on you and managing the pregnancy to make sure they (professionals) can step in and help.

Early in our relationship, MIL was still trying to push DH towards a friend's daugher she approved of more - ie public school educated and with an impressive job in the city.

Mind you, some years post marriage she at least said DH did well in choosing me and was gossiping about how friend's daughter had been engaged for ages but it didn't look like fiance actually wanted to marry her...

When my XH and I invited his parents to the christening of our third child they said, "No, we won't bother, you start to lose interest after the first two." Charming!

My DH's late father was relentlessly vile, a hoarder, and had a history of bad behaviour towards women. I'm on Google looking up "no fault divorce" every time I see even a shadow of any of the old man's traits in his son, who is one of the nicest men you could meet. Interestingly, he started being more assertive with the old man himself when he saw me responding to his tantrums by sternly and repeatedly telling him not to speak to me like that.

The night before our wedding DH's ex rang to ask him to call the wedding off and come back to her. My inlaws realised she was on the phone and started clamouring to talk to her as it had been 'ages' since they spoke to her.

FIL is a different kettle of fish, told me i would 'make dc1 gay' because hed gotten a dolly and a pram for his 1st birthday, gave dc1 coke to drink because he was having a tantrum, and that would obviously help. Cannot be left alone to look after the kids under any circumstances as will drink drive and MIL knows about it. I was trying to express for dc2 who was in nicu and we had been summoned to their house by MIL (god forbid we upset her and she doesnt get her own way) i was trying to sit out the way quietly and discreetly but no, he noticed and started to drunkenly point it out and go in and on about it and then on to say about a woman he saw doing it once, with sound affects included. Hes a moron