What are the worst things your in laws have done or said to you?

[Awkwardusername]

Struggling a bit as my future in laws can’t stand me (or my husband to be it would seem!) but everyone around me has a great relationship with their in laws.
Anyone else got an amazing partner with awful parents and/or siblings?

Hoping this is vaguely light hearted!

My favourite: I told them I got my wedding dress from a high street shop for £200 and they told me the wedding would be “cheap and disgusting”, and that the dried flowers we’re having will be “stinking, dull and boring”. They haven’t seen the dress or the flowers!

@OublietteBravo

MIL is convinced I’m a gold digger. In the (very nearly) 20 years I’ve known DH I’ve earned more than him for 12 of them, and the same as him for a further 4. I’m obviously not a very successful gold digger.

My MIL said something similar. I was working six days a week and paying the mortgage,bills etc dh was studying full time.

Not as bad as many of these...

But after 25 years of snotty remarks, expecting everything done her way and bigoted comments about my ancestry I'm done.

She couldn't even reign it in at my Son's 18th.

Dh doesn't really get it. He still thinks I'll relent. I won't.

When I first met my DIL (13 years ago), she told me she was on Twitter.
I am not on Twitter but you can still look up someone's tweets if you know their username. I looked her up and she had criticised our house and my cooking and described our meeting as a waste of a day.
I never mentioned it to my son or to her but I am so nervous of cooking for her now.
She also asked at our first meeting if we wanted her to take control of our financial affairs and give her financial power of attorney. We were in our early fifties and both working full time in professional jobs.
She is not from the UK and she requested repeatedly that we contribute to her parent's flights over her to see her. We didn't actually spend time with her parents because she wouldn't let us, unless they wanted to go out for a meal, in which case we were invited along to pay.
Six months after meeting her my son was buying his first flat. We gifted him the deposit. She phoned up to shout at us because we had gifted it to him only. It had to be done through a solicitor. We had to do it again including her name in the gift.
We paid for the wedding at her request. We were never thanked. The guests lined up to thank her parents at the end. This one is incredibly common. Lots of my friends with sons have paid for weddings and, apparently, it is wife work to say thank you so they never mention large financial gifts. Ditto buying presents for DILs from wish lists. Thanking a MIl for a gift is apparently wife work. No acknowledgement is usual.
She is very direct and we are all quite scared of her including my son. He is not allowed to buy me a present at Christmas or on my Birthday because that makes him a Mummy's Boy. And no, she doesn't buy me anything because its wifework.
Loads more but actually I am fond of her

Are you? Why, pray? I can't stand the rude, money-grabbing brat and I've never met her.

I hope if you're ever bed-bound you clear your room of all soft furnishings because it sounds like she'd stick a pillow over your face given the chance . . .

@BlondeDogLady

My ExH parents were usually lovely, but when I left ExH because he had cheated with several women, they said :

"ExH was just having a bit of fun, whereas you are breaking up a family"

And then, after being close for 20 years, they never spoke to me again. Neither did his 3 sisters.

Astonishing! Wtf is wrong with them?

Fils gf likes to snoop round our house. Then sent everything.

She asked me once why I’d reduced my medication. As far as I knew she didn’t know I was on meds. But turns out that she’d been snooping in drawers when here and going upstairs to bathroom.

She told everyone that I was on xyz meds. Expecting a shocker announcement because “she’s mentally ill” (sertraline for anxiety and pnd). Turns out all of dhs family were either on the same. Or had been so we’re supportive.

My MIL was truly vile and I have a list of shit that she has done but the very worst was telling everyone in my DH's small town that I fucked around on him and her proof is that my eldest DD looks like me and not him.

Science was not her strong point.

Saying to me that she will never been as close to mu children as she will to DH sister because "A daughter is a daughter for life and your son is your son until he meets a wife" very hurtful especially as I was the one making an effort so she could see her grandchildren.

@Proudcarer6829

Saying to me that she will never been as close to mu children as she will to DH sister because "A daughter is a daughter for life and your son is your son until he meets a wife" very hurtful especially as I was the one making an effort so she could see her grandchildren.

Meant to read DH sisters children

Before we were married, invited to my house to stay for a week and talked constantly about how wonderful DH’s ex was. She had cheated on him multiple times and broken his heart but that didn’t seem to matter! They never talked about it in front of him though!

FIL saying he felt sorry for my parents because they only live round the corner and have to see our DC all the time. There have been a few variations on this theme. FWIW my parents love living round the corner and see DC any chance they get. FIL telling me our then 3 year old needed a smack and if it was up to him he'd give him one. FIL teasing our DC and upsetting them, when I'm not there. H saying he didn't see any problem with it and they had to learn to cope with teasing. Our eldest is getting to the point she doesn't want to go and see the ILs anymore, she likes MIL, she would happily never see FIL again.

My exsil wrote a letter weeks before the wedding telling her brother not to marry me. I had been bullied into having her as my chief bridesmaid too! My mil sulked the entire day of the wedding and they all attempted to upset me, with no success. Turned out my ex husband was abusive and equally unpleasant as them. Getting them all out of my life was the best decision I ever made. They disowned my kids afterwards too, which showed what utterly nasty individuals they all were.

My dh and mil were talking about a woman my mil disliked (she thought she was having an affair with her then dh) but she couldn’t remember her name. My dh commented that mil always seemed to have a mental block when it came to people she hated. To which she replied “oh yes I do” before turning to me and saying “who are you?” Then cackled like the bitch she is.

When dh spoke to her about it the next day, once mil had sobered up, it was just a ‘joke’ and she was not prepared to apologise.

They're not awful as such, very welcoming etc, but I think much much less of them since they gave SIL £10k for a house deposit and DH got , nothing. Paid for all SIL wedding and DH got, nothing. And that's what we know about.
Lots of underhand favouritism going on with the GC too which although not in your face are not characteristics of fair or nice people.

10 days after my dad's funeral MIL posted a 'jokey' meme on FB about funerals tagging DH and BIL. This was the straw that broke that camels back. PIL no longer part of our lives.

@TyrannosaurusRights

3rd trimester of pregnancy. Told in laws the baby was very tiny, dropping down percentiles, and the pregnancy was being managed on a week by week basis.

MIL said ‘that sounds very positive’.

Now we tell them nothing.

That’s a bit harsh, she probably didn’t realise what it meant.

My in laws were great my mother on the other hand had form for nasty comments

My DH is lovely my PIL are awful, at one point they wrote us a letter threatening that if we didn't go NC with another family member they would kill us and take the children and raise them as their own.

My MIL is awful.

We maintain a low contact relationship that grows more and more strained by the year. DH recognises her for what she is and challenges where he sees fit but mostly let’s it go. He is very trauma bonded to her through his childhood experiences and I think he keeps her in his life more for himself than for her. He has no other family apart from his brother who is a tit but not a malicious one.

MIL doesn’t like me, never has. When we were getting married she told me openly that our plans were ridiculous but it was nothing to do with her because she wasn’t paying a penny. If she was we would be and I quote ‘getting married in the garden shed’.

She’s lovely. Fast forward she has no interest in us, feigns interest in the children occasionally and likes to guilt DH for everything he owns, does, is etc.

DH is the opposite however, not sure how that one worked out.

Quiet, caring, considerate, generous, empathic, self aware. Everything his family aren’t. It really changed my opinion on the whole nature vs nurture debate.

MIL cried the night before the wedding because “he’s leaving me, he’s getting a wife”. DH was 35 and had been married before!

I got on really, really well with my ex’s parents so tried very hard with MIL , but she saw off all DH’s previous partners so in retrospect it was never going to end as i hoped. She did plenty of things but OP asked for the worst thing, which was this: call me “a bad wife and a bad mother” in front of my children.

I threw her out of the house and refused to let her set foot back in it till she finally apologised nine months later.

"You don't want to be a fat bride" mil to me. I'm overweight but am strong looking not flabby. And tall. She's short.
Yes I didn't look slim as she would have liked but all the women in her family are obsessed with slimming. Constantly. Her not so much now as she has little appetite.
She is a lovely mil believe it or not. Was just that one thing. Plus she doesn't have a filter.

My mil is a strange woman and I never been able to open up to her or trust her. Some of the things she has said:

1. You've ruined my birthday when DH, I and Ds 2 caught covid. We suffered terribly.

2. when DH proposed (it was a big ring) mil said "oh that's such a big rock it will make a massive dent on my head if anyone ever threw it, how unnecessary"

3. Me and Dh used to live in what it felt like a 40sq m flat when we first married which was a really odd shape and very unsafe for a baby no matter how much you babyproofed it. I was saying we should move further out and get a bigger place, she jumped in saying " no ds needs to be closer to work, you can perhaps put the table in-front of the washing machine and the oven and hob and turn the sofa and put it against the door where you can climb over". My living room/kitchen was literally 3.4m by 3.4m with the kitchen, sofa, fridge and dining table where it left only 1m by 1m space in the middle.

4. when I gave birth I had birth injuries where I had injured my coccyx and had massive tears. I opted for a epidural when I was 7-8cm and was very lucky that I was able. Of course I couldn't walk straight away and gave birth to a very long baby that weighed 9.4 pound baby. She was announcing to the whole family that I had a epidural and how women used to give birth in the fields. Dh said we don't live in medieval times and that he weighed 6 pounds 49cm at birth didn't he? She shut up later when DH corrected her.

She says a lot of stuff which is never helpful or never supportive. I don't know but I have 2 yearold and I would want him, his future wife and child to live happily ever after. She has this thing where if she has suffered, she wants other people to live through the same thing. I always keep her at arms length, never call her, when I see her I hardly talk to her and try my best to never be alone with her. I think it's really easy to get on with me if there is no bad intentions.

My exes family - very well to do wealthy, family.

At the wedding during a pause by the official - now exes father turned to his wife exes mother and said ‘well it’s done now we will just try to have to live with it’

On New Year’s Eve a number of years ago exes family visited and assaulted my then husband and blocked my car in - I left with the children and he called me ‘a stuck up Christian fucking bitch’ as I told them calmly to leave and then proceeded to tell my ex ‘teach her where her place is - I’m not going fucking nowhere it’s your house’ ex was in full on ‘don’t rock the boat and don’t respond other then to say mum and dad I love you’ - should of realised by then the marriage was doomed.

@TyrannosaurusRights

3rd trimester of pregnancy. Told in laws the baby was very tiny, dropping down percentiles, and the pregnancy was being managed on a week by week basis.

MIL said ‘that sounds very positive’.

Now we tell them nothing.

That sounds like her being encouraging. Would it have been better for her to day "OMG! That's a disaster!'

@Hellocatshome

My DH is lovely my PIL are awful, at one point they wrote us a letter threatening that if we didn't go NC with another family member they would kill us and take the children and raise them as their own.

Did you report them to the police?