What are the worst things your in laws have done or said to you?

[Awkwardusername]

Struggling a bit as my future in laws can’t stand me (or my husband to be it would seem!) but everyone around me has a great relationship with their in laws.
Anyone else got an amazing partner with awful parents and/or siblings?

Hoping this is vaguely light hearted!

My favourite: I told them I got my wedding dress from a high street shop for £200 and they told me the wedding would be “cheap and disgusting”, and that the dried flowers we’re having will be “stinking, dull and boring”. They haven’t seen the dress or the flowers!

This is going to be nowhere near as bad as some of the ones on here but I do need a rant, especially after Christmas!

• VERY self-absorbed. Will turn any conversation around to make sure it is about her. Especially when I was pregnant, any time someone mentioned my pregnancy/baby she would butt in and start taking about her new job. DH is incredibly stressed with work at the moment and he tries to talk about it with her and she completely blanks him to start talking about herself.
• We lost a baby through ectopic pregnancy and she did not once ask how I was (considering it can be life threatening!) or say ‘sorry for your loss’.
• We invited her round to meet DD when she was 4 days old, she cancelled because she was too sad at her friend’s cancer diagnosis (this was not a new diagnosis..)
• When she did eventually come round to meet her, she didn’t say a word to me or DD but just stared at my postpartum belly. She stayed 10 minutes and stayed with her back to DD throughout, didn’t acknowledge her existence at all.
• Complains that DD cries all the time despite spending zero time with her (she really doesn’t cry that much!)
• Someone complimented DD and said how lovely she is, MIL piped up saying she doesn’t like children until you can take them to theme parks or the pub.
• At Christmas again made no effort at all to engage with DD (now 4 months old). Remarked that she doesn’t know who she is then added “so we’re all good there”
• Took her dog out for a walk on Christmas Day and he made muddy footprints all over our lounge. Didn’t offer to clean it up and just made comments til I got up and did it.
• Becomes upset and cries at any slight criticism so DH and BIL don’t call her out on her shitty behaviour as they don’t want to deal with her being upset (am working on this with DH!)

That was cathartic, thanks

@Baublette

When I first met my DIL (13 years ago), she told me she was on Twitter. I am not on Twitter but you can still look up someone's tweets if you know their username. I looked her up and she had criticised our house and my cooking and described our meeting as a waste of a day. I never mentioned it to my son or to her but I am so nervous of cooking for her now. She also asked at our first meeting if we wanted her to take control of our financial affairs and give her financial power of attorney. We were in our early fifties and both working full time in professional jobs. She is not from the UK and she requested repeatedly that we contribute to her parent's flights over her to see her. We didn't actually spend time with her parents because she wouldn't let us, unless they wanted to go out for a meal, in which case we were invited along to pay. Six months after meeting her my son was buying his first flat. We gifted him the deposit. She phoned up to shout at us because we had gifted it to him only. It had to be done through a solicitor. We had to do it again including her name in the gift. We paid for the wedding at her request. We were never thanked. The guests lined up to thank her parents at the end. This one is incredibly common. Lots of my friends with sons have paid for weddings and, apparently, it is wife work to say thank you so they never mention large financial gifts. Ditto buying presents for DILs from wish lists. Thanking a MIl for a gift is apparently wife work. No acknowledgement is usual. She is very direct and we are all quite scared of her including my son. He is not allowed to buy me a present at Christmas or on my Birthday because that makes him a Mummy's Boy. And no, she doesn't buy me anything because its wifework. Loads more but actually I am fond of her.

This has got me confused who is DIL why would you need to tell your son what was written on twitter what wedding did you pay for how would she know when your son bought you present.

Ncn

Hilarious! Cropping you out of wedding photos!

My Mil doesn't have any photos up of me, which I don't expect but she has sils wedding photos up even though sil divorced about ten years ago .

@NCNC01

Name changed for this because it’s pretty outing. I don’t know anyone else with a MIL rude enough to do this.

Had me (the bride) photoshopped out of my own wedding photos as she wanted photos that were just of ‘her family’.

When my first child was born I was incredibly ill, lost a lot of blood and nearly died. When I was finally home from the hospital my husband FaceTimed her and she screamed ‘where’s MY baby?!’ Down the phone at him and didn’t ask how I was once.

A few weeks later, knowing full well I had ptsd from the delivery, started badgering me about having another baby saying my 1 month old son was lonely.

Just a small snapshot of the many, many things I could list.

Sounds just like the delight I used to have to deal with. I will sing “ding dong the witch is dead when she dies”.

I had my 3rd baby in May this year so for the majority of my pregnancy I steered clear of seeing family - lockdown rules but also because I wanted to keep myself and baby safe. My relatives had no issue with this but it seems my in laws did; more so MIL. However, they (or she) waited until my baby had been born, he wasn't even 2 days old before she started her crap and kicked off about it all. For days on end it was constant nonsense and comments, all to me and nothing to DP. She completely ruined my first week as a new Mummy again, which I'll never get back. The stress of having to deal with all that as soon as I'd had a baby has caused me to be in a depressive state and I'm still not well, 7 months on. I'll never forgive her for it.

FIL asked DH to choose between me and him 🙃 we are gloriously low contact now, despite FIL’s attempts 😊 makes me happy.

Saying to me that she will never been as close to mu children as she will to DH sister because "A daughter is a daughter for life and your son is your son until he meets a wife" very hurtful especially as I was the one making an effort so she could see her grandchildren.

Some people are really just very dim and they think that traditional sayings are somehow scientifically-proven fact and/or the law.

I always remember a woman on a talk show (years ago now) who was so utterly baffled when undeniable evidence was revealed proving beyond all doubt that a person had most definitely NOT done what they had previously been accused of. She was like Harry Enfield's character Brian Bewildered (if anybody remembers him), just timidly murmuring "B-b-but.... they always say there's no smoke without fire, don't they?!"

Mine said I was a gold digger and that my DH was pissing his money up a wall by marrying me.

Her other son and therefore SIL were favourites and could do no wrong. I was told I was a bitch who could do no right. I have worked all my life, SIL has never had a job.

If I helped out, I was interfering, if I didn't I was a lazy bitch.

She had a little book that she wrote every vile thought that entered her head down in and used as evidence.

Racist, horrible hideous woman.

She's dead now, but I didn't grieve her.

This lot actually makes me realise it’s not just me!

The saddest thing about this thread is I could list so so so many awful things. I’d love to be able to come here and say I had none… but they’re awful.

Oh God I've just had a flashback of something truly revolting.
Ex husbands mother and her third husband used to invite us for Sunday lunch after they had been to the service at the Cathedral. She used to dress in twin set and pearls like some country lady. Under this she wore stockings and no knickers( she took great delight in telling me one day). Her husband would rub his hand up and down her thigh at the table and finger her whilst we were all sitting there eating . Her eyes used to glaze over ....in ecstasy presumably. Dear God they were a weird family

FIL asked DH to choose between me and him 🙃 we are gloriously low contact now, despite FIL’s attempts 😊 makes me happy.

To paraphrase Inigo Montoya: "You are offering to do me a big favour; I do not think that favour is the favour you think it is!"

Three months after having dd, MIL asks ‘how’s it going with your weight’
😮

My mil is also a fan of that silly saying about how your son isn’t yours when he “takes a wife” 🙄🙄. So much easier to parrot cliches then to wonder why it is that your son doesn’t want to see much of you?!

Both my sisters have fab fun supportive mother in laws who are just as involved in their lives as our own mother. One sister would take the kids to stay with in laws when her Dh was away and mil and her would drink champagne while fil took the kids to the park. Actually I have mother in law envy thinking about it.

We had our children before we got married. In our wedding card my MIL wrote “thank you for your two little mistakes”

MIL and FIL treated me like shit for years and I never said a thing when I eventually stood up fo myself by not allowing SIL (who was kicked out if their 3 bed house with 2 free bedrooms for stealing) to live with us in a 2 bed flat with us because we have 2 kids and no space I was basically exiled they told the whole family I was making SIL 23 at the time homeless by not having her live with us.

Since then they have done multiple awful things and enjoy cutting me out then saying she's a drama queen we have no intention of cutting her out. It's ruined my relationship with DH.

sorry reread the article now makes sense why is you son with her and why did you pay for wedding

"You are not the DiL we envisioned having."
Bitched about me to my wedding guests on the day.
Asked my mum to use her influence over me.
Ignored me when I had cancer.

Just remembered another one- at BILs wedding DH was best man and our DDs were bridesmaids. I'd hoped we might get some nice family photos, but I wasn't allowed to be in any photos because 'you weren't born into the family'. I wasn't allowed in the photos with friends of the family either.

@Awkwardusername

Struggling a bit as my future in laws can’t stand me (or my husband to be it would seem!) but everyone around me has a great relationship with their in laws. Anyone else got an amazing partner with awful parents and/or siblings?

Hoping this is vaguely light hearted!

My favourite: I told them I got my wedding dress from a high street shop for £200 and they told me the wedding would be “cheap and disgusting”, and that the dried flowers we’re having will be “stinking, dull and boring”. They haven’t seen the dress or the flowers!

I do hope that they are not invited to your wedding. And I would never share any information ever again with them.

The day before my wedding, MIL said to DH, 'You don't have to go through with it you know.'

We had a toddler together by then.

Mil told dh when I first met her that I wasn’t very attractive and didn’t like the fact I was from a working class background.
Over the years I’ve had comments about being fat (never been larger than a size 12) my boobs being too big (I dress very modestly so they are definitely not out on display).
I’ve now reasoned I will never be good enough for them, but it’s like water off a ducks back after 20 years.

My ex MIL said she didn’t see any problem with my ex spending all day and night talking to another woman and it’s “obviously something he needs” so I should just let him blatantly cheat on me.

Oh, and when we split my ex called me twice to tell me he didn’t want to be alive (and vaguely threatening to take a bunch of pills). Both times I called his mother to say she needed to check on him or I’d call the police for a welfare check. She said this was the same thing as her threatening to call social services on me to take my baby () and both times she berated me because I should have called her. That’s right. I should have called her. WHILE I WAS ON THE PHONE TO HER.

Also, direct quote from her: “He doesn’t need [professional help], he just needs ME!”

I realise that it all looks quite heavy now that I’ve written it down but I can look back and laugh now because I got away.

Mild in comparison to many on here but late FIL said "What a shame, that's the end of the family then" when DD3 was born. Meaning the surname would die out in our branch of the family as DH had no sons, and "only" sister. I think he thought he was some kind of royalty. Normal working class family, common-ish surname.