Does anyone feel sad on Christmas Eve

[backonceagain2]

I love Christmas and the build up to it but every Christmas Eve, once the children are in bed, I get this overwhelming feeling of sadness and I don't know why

It’s nice the children are excited but it’s more or less just another day I guess. Christmas is fun when you’re younger or don’t have much to ‘do’ but if you’re constantly busy organizing gifts and making sure all the kids have approximately the same number of gifts and making sure there’s enough food for a small army, I generally can’t wait for it to be over.
Boxing Day onwards is generally my preference.

Christmas is a very emotional time for me.
It doesn't take much to start me off. Today I picked up the Christmas wreath from the florist to take to Dd1's grave in the morning. Dd2 added one of her very precious Santa stickers to it.
Tomorrow we will go to the cemetery it will be busy with families just like mine.
My dd loved Christmas 💞💞.
I put a face on and wish it was over
although Dd2 will keep me going with her excitement.
I find Hogmanay very sad and emotional.

Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day and New Year's Eve.
I think once you have lost someone close they are never the same again 😢

@ParkheadParadise

Christmas is a very emotional time for me. It doesn't take much to start me off. Today I picked up the Christmas wreath from the florist to take to Dd1's grave in the morning. Dd2 added one of her very precious Santa stickers to it. Tomorrow we will go to the cemetery it will be busy with families just like mine. My dd loved Christmas 💞💞. I put a face on and wish it was over although Dd2 will keep me going with her excitement. I find Hogmanay very sad and emotional.

So sorry to hear of the day you have ahead tomorrow. Sending lots of love,hugs and strength

Yes I felt sad this evening. No children in the house anymore to get excited, no putting out a glass of something for FC.
It all feels a little bit pointless.

I'm so sorry for all those who've lost someone it does put into perspective my own sadness at spending most of Christmas alone as my exh will have the dc from lunchtime onwards (it's his week). But it's only one day and I have a good life to be grateful for.

@Blossom987

My DS is 4 and this is his 5th Christmas. His disability means he still doesn’t understand much at all about Christmas. I go through some of the motions hoping it sinks in in some way, but putting him to bed knowing how excited other four year olds would be right now and he just thinks it’s any other day was heartbreaking. I was quite emotional.

Last year he didn’t like Xmas day at all and I’m anxious tomorrow may be similar. So hard seeing other parents and children doing all the typical things with so much joy and excitement. And how many people around me talk to me like I’m experiencing the same thing and don’t even stop for a moment to consider or even ask about my DS.

I feel like I’m in some parallel universe watching in on everyone else having magical times. I’m starting to wonder if DS will ever experience the magic of Santa. By the time he might have the understanding it could be the same age as where other children know the truth. Every year that passes is one year less opportunity to experience the joy Christmas brings to children.

Your post really touched me @Blossom987

I hope you have a lovely day tomorrow, even if it’s not a traditional Christmas type day.

Blossom987

Yes, i miss my mum which makes me sad, i do know im lucky with the life i have, but yes i still get sad at her not being here.

@Blossom987

My DS is 4 and this is his 5th Christmas. His disability means he still doesn’t understand much at all about Christmas. I go through some of the motions hoping it sinks in in some way, but putting him to bed knowing how excited other four year olds would be right now and he just thinks it’s any other day was heartbreaking. I was quite emotional.

Last year he didn’t like Xmas day at all and I’m anxious tomorrow may be similar. So hard seeing other parents and children doing all the typical things with so much joy and excitement. And how many people around me talk to me like I’m experiencing the same thing and don’t even stop for a moment to consider or even ask about my DS.

I feel like I’m in some parallel universe watching in on everyone else having magical times. I’m starting to wonder if DS will ever experience the magic of Santa. By the time he might have the understanding it could be the same age as where other children know the truth. Every year that passes is one year less opportunity to experience the joy Christmas brings to children.

@Blossom987 my friend’s son is autistic and he is about to turn 7. He was non verbal until a year ago and had never understood Christmas. This year is the first year he woke up and said (in his own way) “Santa coming tonight”. She rang me in tears, so relieved he finally understands.

I hope that doesn’t upset you but wanted to share with you. X

I seem to know an awful lot of people who have lost someone in the last couple of years. Some in the last couple of weeks. I don't know if this is a result of covid, or something I should expect more of in my 40s. But Xmas seems very much overshadowed by those who are doing it without people.

Funny I found this thread.
I'm absolutely shattered having been coughing all week (negative pcr)
Maybe just too much going on.

I’m struggling this year. My marriage isn’t good and with a lot of therapy I’ve realised it is in many respects abusive but I’ve been conditioned to blame myself. I love Christmas and all the magic, and am also a December birthday and he’s been horrible and caused arguments and upset all month. Am just so sad and drained, not just because of that but knowing I either have what will be a horrible separation ahead of me, which will be tough for the kids at Christmas or more years of this. DD4 is excited and DS1 is clueless and I want it all to be so happy but is hard as my heart is breaking a bit.

I feel guilty because I never saw much of my parents so after age 12 they weren’t a big part of Christmas but I’ve had dreadful Christmas eves with the ex hoping he’d not be off on a bender. Today I’m not feeling Christmas at all, h has been grumpy so many years now after this year I’ve had I’m emotionally dead to this Christmas. Happy about my books and new film tomorrow night but that’s it really.

Yes. I lost my mum suddenly and unexpectedly this year, just 2 months ago and my dad a few years ago. I’m only 31 and don’t have kids. My parents loved Christmas and the full of December felt magical, even as an adult.

Now I’m feeling so sad as this is my first without both of them and I have no other family to spend the day with. I can’t believe I won’t have Christmas with my parents ever again.

Thinking of all of you missing someone this year. It’s shit.

It's very emotional.

I've just had a big cry thinking about my kids growing up and the troubles that adulthood brings. I just want them to be small again.

I also started to think about the kids who will wake up tomorrow to nothing, not even a kind word and that set me off too :(

@The3rdWatermelon
I hope next year is your year and you can spend next christmas pregnant or cuddling your baby xxx

I do but that's because my sister in law just died this evening My poor nephew, he's only 21

Certainly earlier, when having our Christmas feast. I’ve had 2 grandchildren born this year which my dad would have adored…missing my mum who has Alzheimer’s (saw her earlier today) but I’m of Nordic heritage and my teens started opening their presents at midnight tonight (in line with my mums heritage) so we’re full swing here!!! After festivities and the present opening we will lie in and go to MIL tomorrow for a more British Christmas and do it all again there 🥂

@GrannytoaUnicorn

I do but that's because my sister in law just died this evening My poor nephew, he's only 21

Oh no…so sorry to hear this

I'm doing Xmas Dinner with a parent with dementia tomorrow. They won't recognise me as I've been red haired all my life, but am now brunette. I have warned the dc , who aren't even teenagers yet . It could be a complete disaster..

There's also the guilt that much younger, needed people that I know have died recently, whereas I have, technically, have a parent here. But a parent who's just a shell.

@Obsidiansphere Thank you. I'm so so sad for him. Christmas will never be the same for him again. Puts things into perspective ✝️

Sad here too. We lost my Dad in March of this year, so this is our first Christmas without him. It feels very strange.

The idea that I will never again hear him wishing us Happy Christmas is almost unbearable. I'm putting on a front for everyone else, but I am very sad and absolutely not feeling Christmassy this year.

to everyone else who has also lost someone.

@Thickasmincepie

I'm doing Xmas Dinner with a parent with dementia tomorrow. They won't recognise me as I've been red haired all my life, but am now brunette. I have warned the dc , who aren't even teenagers yet . It could be a complete disaster..

There's also the guilt that much younger, needed people that I know have died recently, whereas I have, technically, have a parent here. But a parent who's just a shell.

🧡

@GrannytoaUnicorn

I do but that's because my sister in law just died this evening My poor nephew, he's only 21

I am very sorry to hear that. How awful for all of you.