Does anyone feel sad on Christmas Eve

[backonceagain2]

I love Christmas and the build up to it but every Christmas Eve, once the children are in bed, I get this overwhelming feeling of sadness and I don't know why

Yes. I had hoped I would be pregnant by this Christmas. Our IVF failed and I’m not. Christmas is so much about children (and it feels like my entire Facebook friends list appears to have chosen tonight to announce pregnancies!)
I’ve spent all evening doing santa things to help out my SIL to make tomorrow really special for my niece and nephew. My husband has had to go to work to fill in for someone else so they can be with their kids. I’ll have to put a brave face on tomorrow. But tonight I’m alone and having a good cry.
Every Christmas feels like a marker of another year with no baby for us.

I get very nostalgic but I wouldn’t say sad, I try to think of all the wonderful Christmases past and of the love I’ve had in my life, from people still with us and people gone too x

I am this year, my dm died in Oct and I feel like I haven't moved on at all right now.

to everyone feeling the same

I lost both my parents in my early 30s. We used to have huge family Christmas think 20 plus at my Gran house. Just me and my little family now can’t help feeling sad about all those we have lost.

I became estranged from my dad this year for good reasons, but he sent me a Christmas card, and I’ve been weepy all day since it arrived. Doesn’t help that a positive covid test cancelled our family plans and my son can’t be with us either.

Also resonate with the general feeling of “what’s it all for?” even when happy.

Love to everyone who is facing their first Christmas without a loved one. Take time to feel sad - it does help not to bottle it up all day.

I lost my mum at Christmas 9 years ago, and I think of her and other relatives. We also lost our dog this year and he always ‘made’ Christmas for me, he was my dog before I even met DH and kept me going through some sad times and shared happier adventures too and I really miss him.

We have our amazing DD now this is her second Christmas. We’ve had a perfectly lovely day. But yeah I feel sad still. Partly the ‘it’s nearly all over’ feeling.

I feel like I’ve not enjoyed the build up all year. We’ve done so much stuff and I’ve tried really hard to be festive but I forgot to relax and enjoy any of it, I’ve mostly been anxious and stressed and the shit news and Covid fears looming over everything haven’t helped. I didn’t mean to be or even really recognise it at the time but now I can see it and I’m kind of kicking myself.

Things keep going weird and tense between DH and I too, we’re not communicating very well. Although he did something so lovely and thoughtful this evening and we had a hug and a bit of a cry about the dog together and felt closer than we have in a while. I know we’ll be ok, we just need to make some time to talk it all out. It’s been getting me down though.

not enjoyed the build up at all this year I meant to say. I don’t build up to Christmas all year!

Although I do always think we should see it more as a festive period and not put so much on the one day - personally I am looking more forward to New Year as we are spending it with my family who live at the other end of the country. Or I was - am also prepared for that not to happen now too.

I feel sad that Christmas seemed so carefree and fun when we were young, and it seemed to stretch out forever in such a wonderful way. But the realities are actually so different. This year I've realised that I am going to have to step up to being a supportive and reliable daughter, aunt and sister-in-law on my own. I have a big family but it all comes down to me now. I hope my kids still feel carefree and happy and don't realise the immense pressure I'm feeling but I'm sure it's not completely hidden.

I'm waiting for my dad to walk in through the door at 11pm after driving 200miles following mass. But he died last year. So second xmas without him.

@maddiemookins16mum

Yep, I have a lovely home, family, not skint, the fridge is full, the house is clean, tidy and comfortable. Tomorrow will be a lovely day. BUT, I want my Mum back, I want to hear her voice.

❤️❤️❤️

Hugs to all ❤️❤️❤️

I used to as Dad died on xmas eve one year but now i always invite a few friends to stay who want to dodge toxic family so they are here and i have my 2 lodgers who cant go home or dont want to so i make an effort for them all really...if just me i maybe wont bother.

Pour yourselves a glass of something nice, grab the Kleenex and put this film on. It encapsulates so much of that feeling that this thread is describing.

m.youtube.com/watch?v=9BTSQYdBuZY

(Im not being dismissive of people recently bereaved or similar life changing events, this is more for the general feeling of bittersweet nostalgia and time passing by).

I had a little cry earlier. My memories of Christmas as a child/teen with alcoholic parents aren't all particularly nice and my ex H was a cold hearted b.
Life now is good. I have a lovely DH with 4 gorgeous grown up DC's between us. But the memories go deep.

Bit of a mix at times, sometimes it's a pitty for the warriors, who have fallen and Are not with us, then it's cherishing each moment, and being grateful for the mindset and perspectives I have achieved.

I thought it was just me. I was out walking the dog this afternoon and nearly ended up in tears.

I feel sad because my late dp passed away 7 years ago & we lost my dad 3 years ago & I miss them desperately.

Yes I know what you mean. I love all the build up, but actually felt a bit flat today, have a 3 year old so it’s all very exciting, so not sure what’s wrong really. Build up of expectations and pressure maybe 🤷🏻‍♀️
I usually feel melancholy on Christmas Day evening, so it’s strange it’s hit me on Christmas Eve, it used to be my favourite.

It's a bit flat for me as the DCs are teens, so all the excitement has gone. It's the marking of a day that used to be so magical and exciting , putting out the snacks for Father Christmas and creeping into their rooms with the stocking.

I'm also struggling with a difficult relationship with my alcoholic father. He's alone tomorrow and the rest of the family will all be together. That includes his brother and family. But , there's no way we could have him here being aggressive or drunk. One one hand I feel it's the right thing , but on the other I feel bloody awful about it. He's been told it will only change when he gives up drink. Sadly that won't happen. He's always been a terrible father , but loved Christmas and despite a very difficult childhood, he always made sure we all had a lovely time.

My DS is 4 and this is his 5th Christmas. His disability means he still doesn’t understand much at all about Christmas. I go through some of the motions hoping it sinks in in some way, but putting him to bed knowing how excited other four year olds would be right now and he just thinks it’s any other day was heartbreaking. I was quite emotional.

Last year he didn’t like Xmas day at all and I’m anxious tomorrow may be similar. So hard seeing other parents and children doing all the typical things with so much joy and excitement. And how many people around me talk to me like I’m experiencing the same thing and don’t even stop for a moment to consider or even ask about my DS.

I feel like I’m in some parallel universe watching in on everyone else having magical times. I’m starting to wonder if DS will ever experience the magic of Santa. By the time he might have the understanding it could be the same age as where other children know the truth. Every year that passes is one year less opportunity to experience the joy Christmas brings to children.

Yes and I’m so glad to see this thread - I thought it was only me. No particular reason and it’s happened the last couple of years now.

@Blossom987

My DS is 4 and this is his 5th Christmas. His disability means he still doesn’t understand much at all about Christmas. I go through some of the motions hoping it sinks in in some way, but putting him to bed knowing how excited other four year olds would be right now and he just thinks it’s any other day was heartbreaking. I was quite emotional.

Last year he didn’t like Xmas day at all and I’m anxious tomorrow may be similar. So hard seeing other parents and children doing all the typical things with so much joy and excitement. And how many people around me talk to me like I’m experiencing the same thing and don’t even stop for a moment to consider or even ask about my DS.

I feel like I’m in some parallel universe watching in on everyone else having magical times. I’m starting to wonder if DS will ever experience the magic of Santa. By the time he might have the understanding it could be the same age as where other children know the truth. Every year that passes is one year less opportunity to experience the joy Christmas brings to children.

All the best for tomorrow, and merry Christmas as best as possible

@Llamasally Same, it’s been worse the last couple of years, but also no particular reason

Absolutely dreading tomorrow, I don't know how to get through it.