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Original poster

Is it rude to say that a gift for your child is the wrong size?

199 replies

Dora2168 · 21/12/2021 07:44

We recently had an early Christmas party with the family and the aunts and uncles gave out presents to the children. My sister and I had a discussion before the event and she said that she would prefer clothing for her two children, so I carefully set about shopping with care for the right products and size of clothing. On the day, my nephew was overjoyed when he opened his gifts and saw that he had received a new football kit, Adidas sports tracksuit and matching Adidas trainers
His sister had new luxury winter coat and cosy jumpers. Both children were delighted and overjoyed. My 8 year old then opened his gift, and I saw his face fall when he saw a bright neon yellow track top and joggers that were at least two sizes too big slide out of the gift wrap. I felt his disappointment, especially as I had taken the time to shop with care to give a useful gift. Should I return the items as it cannot fit my child or regift it? I don't think that I would let him wear a neon yellow tracksuit.
I later found the exact item online for £10 on sale.

OP posts:
Comefromaway · 21/12/2021 10:37

Ds used to go up roughly 1 size every 12-18 months. Buying him something two sizes too big would mean he would not get use from a present for over 2 years.

mam0918 · 21/12/2021 10:43

@Camii

My kids would love the presents you gave. Your sister was being tight and a cf. Charity shop for tracksuit and lesson learnt for next year
ah yes not spending £100s on another person child is tight and cheeky Hmm

Check your privilege, £10 is a perfectly acceptable gift amount but overbuying several expensive clothes is actually pretty rude and downright shocking to then complain you didn't get tit for tat.

Undecided1985 · 21/12/2021 10:48

Depends - cld have been an innocent mistake either way i would say oh so sorry its too large could i have the receipt pls to exchange

next year

cld he have vouchers for x or y shop
cld we set a budget of £20

we had a relative right tight a*rse even when specifically asked not to buy clothes would always buy clothes for xmas gifts they were always horrible - whilst she herself always insisted on v expensive perfume😄😄 one year she got dh a quite frankly horrible item of clothing despite him directing her online to the specific item he wanted. He had enough and asked for his receipt etc which she the. surprise cld not find! in the end several months later she sent a cheque. She has never bought him clothes again. She was just being high handed and tight fisted.

I hope its just a genuine innocent misunderstanding in your case - but tbh DH put up with it for years before challenging her - and in hindsight it would have been better to be firmer from the start.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Families
TheHoptimist · 21/12/2021 10:55

@crosbystillsandmash

I'm howling at the idea of small children looking thrilled and delighted at the sight of overpriced sportswear.

Don't children skip any present that feels like clothing Grin

Almost Daily Mail like in the poetic prose of the opening post.
TheOrigRights · 21/12/2021 10:59

had received a new football kit, Adidas sports tracksuit and matching Adidas trainers

depending on the age of the child, this could easily be over £200.

It sounds like a discussion before the event didn't include the budget, which seems odd considering the obvious differences between you and your sister. Maybe you don't know your sister very well.

What your sister spent (£10) is far more the norm to spend on nieces and nephews IMO.

I'm smiling thinking I'm walking right into the troll pit.

2reefsin30knots · 21/12/2021 11:12

I'd be keeping the neon yellow tracksuit in a drawer. That's the sort of thing you need on hand for school dress-up days. Children in Need 'wear something yellow' day, Roald Dahl 'wear something yellow day' World Book Day (Aslan??) and the pinnacle of dressing-up achievement by my DS's school- come dressed as a bonfire... A yellow tracky could do years of service!

CSJobseeker · 21/12/2021 11:15

Your gifts were vastly OTT, most people do not spend that much on nieces/nephews.

Also - I don't think that I would let him wear a neon yellow tracksuit ... does he not get a say? It's his choice whether he likes yellow or not, not yours.

On the sizing thing, YANBU - ask for the receipt so you can swap for an appropriate size for him.

StaplesCorner · 21/12/2021 11:15

We need the OP to come back from the charity shop where's she dropping off the shit tracksuit cos I want to hear more about the luxury coat Grin

JuergenSchwarzwald · 21/12/2021 11:22

@2reefsin30knots

I'd be keeping the neon yellow tracksuit in a drawer. That's the sort of thing you need on hand for school dress-up days. Children in Need 'wear something yellow' day, Roald Dahl 'wear something yellow day' World Book Day (Aslan??) and the pinnacle of dressing-up achievement by my DS's school- come dressed as a bonfire... A yellow tracky could do years of service!
Very good point Grin
ShinyHappyPoster · 21/12/2021 11:25

I'm reading a lot about how you feel and a lot about equating value with expense. Does your DS like the neon tracksuit? If so, either keep it till he grows into it or swap it for the right size.

CatJumperTwat · 21/12/2021 11:29

My 8 year old then opened his gift, and I saw his face fall

Have you spoken to him about his rudeness and taught him how to be gracious about gifts?

Hemingwayscatz · 21/12/2021 11:29

Clothes are always a dodgy present to buy unless someone has asked for a specific thing and you know their size. Not sure why anyone would buy a neon yellow tracksuit, really weird. My Uncle bought me a Minnie Mouse nightie in size 11-12 years when I was a 14 year old goth. I don’t know what runs through some people’s minds but it’s totally thoughtless.

Cherrysoup · 21/12/2021 11:31

Did you agree a budget in advance? Ask her for the receipt so you can return it. It sounds really thoughtless of her.

Forgetaboutme · 21/12/2021 11:38

A lot of people throw around the word 'thoughtless' but really you have no idea how much thought someone might have put in to something. People have different taste and clothes are subjective.

Maybe her son would have liked it so she chose it thinking yours would too. Maybe she thinks yellow suits him. Maybe she got it before it was in the sale. Who knows, its rude to dismiss it as thoughtless.

SoupDragon · 21/12/2021 11:54

@CatJumperTwat

My 8 year old then opened his gift, and I saw his face fall

Have you spoken to him about his rudeness and taught him how to be gracious about gifts?

Oh come on - he is 8 and looked disappointed, nothing more than that. Very few adults would pull off immediate delight and gratefulness when presented with a crap gift.
TheHoptimist · 21/12/2021 11:55

@HundredMilesAnHour

Can someone explain to me what a "luxury coat" is please?
One not suitable for real children (but ideal for those formed in fiction)
strawflower · 21/12/2021 12:09

@Biggreenduffel

I would say that your son loves them thank you but they’re too big, so can she give you the receipt please so that you can change them to the right size? Take it from there
This. I think clothes are one of the only gift items you are pretty safe to ask for the receipt for.
thewhatsit · 21/12/2021 12:24

How had this not been an issue before?

You spent about £150-200 per child and she spent £10+.

What happened last year? And the year before? Do you normally get massively extravagant presents or did you up there ante this year? - has she gone from spending hundreds to getting something cheap?

Ijustreallywantacat · 21/12/2021 12:29

Oh come on - he is 8 and looked disappointed, nothing more than that. Very few adults would pull off immediate delight and gratefulness when presented with a crap gift.

8 is old enough to be told that you should react with gratefulness when given any gift.

When my siblings and I were around that age, we unwrapped a gift from our grandparents. They had meant to get a smoothie machine, but due to dodderiness had accidentally grabbed a toaster! We reacted with sheer delight. "I love toast!" Etc.

It's never too young to learn manners.

OP, if you ever come back, your sister tried her best. Expensive sportswear brands also do ugly neon clothes. If it was an ugly neon Adidas tracksuit, would you have been so dissapointed? Thought not. Just politely enquire about a receipt to get the right size.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 21/12/2021 12:35

Maybe your son's face 'fell' because he realised that you wouldn't 'let' him wear his present from his aunt.

His present, not yours... 🤔

stingofthebutterfly · 21/12/2021 12:37

@2reefsin30knots

I'd be keeping the neon yellow tracksuit in a drawer. That's the sort of thing you need on hand for school dress-up days. Children in Need 'wear something yellow' day, Roald Dahl 'wear something yellow day' World Book Day (Aslan??) and the pinnacle of dressing-up achievement by my DS's school- come dressed as a bonfire... A yellow tracky could do years of service!
Yes, absolutely!

Op, the fact that it's two sizes too big is neither here nor there. He'll grow.

I think you were incredibly rude to go searching for the item online to check the price tbh.

butterbelle · 21/12/2021 12:39

He will grow into it. I would save them for when he’s bigger/taller and can fit into them.

LaChristmasBella · 21/12/2021 12:43

Good grief, you actually tracked down the item to check the price? Hmm

Did your mother never teach you not to give, in order to receive? You should get your joy from giving people you love, things you know they will like, not comparing what they bought you with how much you spent.

My DC would never be able to fake being overjoyed at unwrapping clothes however, so hats off to your sister's children, she has brought them up well.

SoupDragon · 21/12/2021 13:25

When my siblings and I were around that age, we unwrapped a gift from our grandparents. They had meant to get a smoothie machine, but due to dodderiness had accidentally grabbed a toaster! We reacted with sheer delight. "I love toast!" Etc.

Yeah, and I bet there wasn't a single nanosecond when your faces fell upon opening it 😂

Corbally · 21/12/2021 13:32

@2reefsin30knots

I'd be keeping the neon yellow tracksuit in a drawer. That's the sort of thing you need on hand for school dress-up days. Children in Need 'wear something yellow' day, Roald Dahl 'wear something yellow day' World Book Day (Aslan??) and the pinnacle of dressing-up achievement by my DS's school- come dressed as a bonfire... A yellow tracky could do years of service!
I think the Narnia series would have been much improved if Aslan/Lion Jesus had only appeared clad in a neon yellow tracksuit. The the White Witch's execution could have been done on grounds of taste...?