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Original poster

Is it rude to say that a gift for your child is the wrong size?

199 replies

Dora2168 · 21/12/2021 07:44

We recently had an early Christmas party with the family and the aunts and uncles gave out presents to the children. My sister and I had a discussion before the event and she said that she would prefer clothing for her two children, so I carefully set about shopping with care for the right products and size of clothing. On the day, my nephew was overjoyed when he opened his gifts and saw that he had received a new football kit, Adidas sports tracksuit and matching Adidas trainers
His sister had new luxury winter coat and cosy jumpers. Both children were delighted and overjoyed. My 8 year old then opened his gift, and I saw his face fall when he saw a bright neon yellow track top and joggers that were at least two sizes too big slide out of the gift wrap. I felt his disappointment, especially as I had taken the time to shop with care to give a useful gift. Should I return the items as it cannot fit my child or regift it? I don't think that I would let him wear a neon yellow tracksuit.
I later found the exact item online for £10 on sale.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 21/12/2021 08:07

What's your relationship like with your sister? Just explain its the wrong size and say if she can give you the receipt you'll exchange it yourself

mumofEandE · 21/12/2021 08:09

A 'luxury' coat for a child sounds like a waste of money - I'm imagining faux fur

00100001 · 21/12/2021 08:09

Why is the tracksuit you bought your nephew a useful gift, but the tracksuit your sister bought her nephew not?

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SeasonFinale · 21/12/2021 08:11

So you bought "tasteful and expensive" gifts for your sister's kids and she bought yours "cheap tat".

What you really are asking is whether it is okay to be disappointed with what she bought and how do you make her know this.

FawnFrenchieMum · 21/12/2021 08:14

Too small I would ask if they have the receipt to change it, too big, nope I’d put it away until it fits.

Doesn’t sound like a size issue at all, you just hate the tracksuit.

iCouldSleepForAYear · 21/12/2021 08:15

@Biggreenduffel

I would say that your son loves them thank you but they’re too big, so can she give you the receipt please so that you can change them to the right size? Take it from there
Yes, this.

If I heard this from a young cousin or niece's mum, and I have the receipt, I'd just hand it over. If I'd done an online order for it, I'd offer to return for a refund and give you the cash towards it, in case the size had already sold out.

I've goofed on gifts before, meaning well. It happens. But I'm also a big believer in accepting I may have gotten it wrong and holding on to return receipts. It isn't about my own ego, it's about bringing someone joy, after all.

MerryMarigold · 21/12/2021 08:16

@crosbystillsandmash

I'm howling at the idea of small children looking thrilled and delighted at the sight of overpriced sportswear.

Don't children skip any present that feels like clothing Grin

Depends if they are 11+. Pants are not exciting but my DS2 got an Adidas tracksuit from us as his main present last year and was delighted! DD has asked for jogging bottoms from my parents this year and a cardigan from us!

OP, how long have you been buying one another presents? In our family we have a rough budget per person which is 15-20. It is fun being creative with what you can buy plus it means adults get presents too. It's important for kids to see that. I also give my kids some money to spend 3-5 on their siblings, us and grandparents. It's not a competition to see who gets the most expensive present.

I wonder if you spent that much on your nephew and niece, how much did you spend on your son? 😱 I'm sure he would be delighted with his presents from you. Is this the first time you've bought for them. Why the wildly different budgets? Is your sister in difficult circumstances this year?

And to answer, I wouldn't make a point about changing a tenner tracksuit but next year I would spend about 20 on the kids.

SaintDrogo · 21/12/2021 08:18

There’s a massive difference in what you’ve both spent- if she usually spends so much less than you and put much less thought into his presents, then I’d just accept that’s her quirk, ask for the receipt to change it and if she doesn’t have it just give it to the charity shop. Spend what you can afford to and want to on her children- one of my siblings is a very high earner and spends much more on gifts to our house than we could ever do for them. No issues, and they would be horrified if we felt we had to try and match them, but we still pick out things we know they’ll love.
If this is totally out of character for her and she usually carefully chooses things she knows your son will fit and love, then I’d be a bit worried that something else was going on (finance trouble, or struggling mentally to get into the Christmas spirit?)

Mellowyellow222 · 21/12/2021 08:18

Children are rarely thrilled and delighted to receive clothes.

I always remember an old episode of Roseanne where she wrapped all DJ’s presents inside clothes, and he was so excited when they were toys and not clothes😂.

Perhaps your sister has taught her children to be gracious when receiving g any gifts? While your son struggled to hide his disappointment.

Michellebops · 21/12/2021 08:19

Just ask for they receipt to return as it's not suitable for your son.
It's highly unlikely the receipt will be produced.

LynetteScavo · 21/12/2021 08:20

@00100001

Why is the tracksuit you bought your nephew a useful gift, but the tracksuit your sister bought her nephew not?
An branded tracksuit in the correct size is a little different to a not fashionable tracksuit in the wrong size.

OP - the joy is in the giving, your DS will probably have seen your DS was disappointed. Explain to her it's the wrong size, ask if she can return it. If she can get her money back it's better than just shoving it in a charity bag.

GrazingSheep · 21/12/2021 08:23

Why did you spend so much? Have you loads of money ?

C8H10N4O2 · 21/12/2021 08:23

How old is the child who was delighted and overjoyed at a "luxury" winter coat? What even is a "luxury" winter coat?

Sounds like another variant on "I bought expensive, good taste gifts but plebby friend/relation bought common tat". If you don't know each other well enough to assume budgets then discuss them up front. If you want particular clothes then discuss it up front.

Are they twins by any chance?

TraceyLacey · 21/12/2021 08:23

Maybe they were overjoyed and delighted as they've been taught good manners?

IgneousRock · 21/12/2021 08:23

Yep definitely spend less next time!

crosbystillsandmash · 21/12/2021 08:25

@StarryNightSky26

I'm howling at the idea of small children looking thrilled and delighted at the sight of overpriced sportswear

You're either lucky in that you don't have sporty kids or you have young/no children...ime every 7/9/8 year old boy I know would be thrilled with a football kit!

You're off the mark there! I have 2 dc and have worked with young children for 30+ years!

I can see a footie kit would go down well but 'a luxury coat' Hmm Sounds super naff too!!!

FayCarew · 21/12/2021 08:25

I wouldn't buy clothing for someone else's child. A hideous tracksuit in the wrong size isn't really a present.
Ask for the receipt so you can change it

LizzieSiddal · 21/12/2021 08:27

If it “only” cost £10 then why bother going to all that trouble? He hates it anyway so just give it to the charity shop.

I do think it’s rude to ask for the receipt, I h bad manners. Next year it’s much easier to say, no clothes please.

Sunshineandflipflops · 21/12/2021 08:28

My DC are 14 and 15 and are only just beginning to appreciate clothes as presents! Neither are remotely sporty either so a tracksuit wouldn't be something to be excited by. A coat is something they get anyway as it's needed, not really wanted.

The tracksuit sounds horrible so I would either ask for the receipt to exchange for something that will get more wear or chalk it to experience and reduce the amount you spend on her kids in future to save disappointment.

SoupDragon · 21/12/2021 08:29

I can see a footie kit would go down well but 'a luxury coat' hmm Sounds super naff too!!!

That depends on the age of the child. If it's a coveted brand for a teenager then yes, it would go down well.

TulipsTwoLips · 21/12/2021 08:31

It's fine to ask for a receipt to replace unsuitable clothes. It's not very British, but I think we should get more comfortable with it as it saves money and waste.

You do sound very high maintenance with your expectations to be honest, and I would be suggesting to you that presents weren't exchanged in the future.

Bitofachinwag · 21/12/2021 08:32

@SeasonFinale

So you bought "tasteful and expensive" gifts for your sister's kids and she bought yours "cheap tat".

What you really are asking is whether it is okay to be disappointed with what she bought and how do you make her know this.

yes. Perhaps your sister didn't like what you bought either? It's ok to feel disappointed, but perhaps your sister really did think that your son would like it? People have different tastes. For next year I'd suggest you agree how much you going to spend beforehand.
dittheringdoldrums · 21/12/2021 08:32

Do you normally spend that much on presents @Dora2168 ? It all sounds a bit OTT.

dotsandco · 21/12/2021 08:38

I'm laughing so much at your OTT descriptive writing!! 🤣🤣

Christ on a bike OP, just own it...you're actually RAGING (to coin a much used MN verb!) about the difference in money spent! 👍 You'll deny this of course...but we all know what your real problem is...you are super pissed off!

(No child, anywhere, has ever displayed such OTT gratitude and joy when opening a sodding jumper and anorak 🤣)

SamMil · 21/12/2021 08:38

I thought everyone bought clothes a size up for kids?

It sounds like the problem is the style of the clothes rather than the size.

I would just quietly give to a charity shop, if your child (not you..!) doesn't like them. Maybe choose a shop far away from where your sister lives in case she spots the neon colours through the window Grin