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Original poster

Is it rude to say that a gift for your child is the wrong size?

199 replies

Dora2168 · 21/12/2021 07:44

We recently had an early Christmas party with the family and the aunts and uncles gave out presents to the children. My sister and I had a discussion before the event and she said that she would prefer clothing for her two children, so I carefully set about shopping with care for the right products and size of clothing. On the day, my nephew was overjoyed when he opened his gifts and saw that he had received a new football kit, Adidas sports tracksuit and matching Adidas trainers
His sister had new luxury winter coat and cosy jumpers. Both children were delighted and overjoyed. My 8 year old then opened his gift, and I saw his face fall when he saw a bright neon yellow track top and joggers that were at least two sizes too big slide out of the gift wrap. I felt his disappointment, especially as I had taken the time to shop with care to give a useful gift. Should I return the items as it cannot fit my child or regift it? I don't think that I would let him wear a neon yellow tracksuit.
I later found the exact item online for £10 on sale.

OP posts:
Corbally · 21/12/2021 09:35

@Deadringer

Why is everyone being so sneery? It sounds like english isn't op's first language. I think you spent too much and your expectations were too high, you will know next year to spend a bit less and be aware that your sister doesn't put as much thought into her gifts as you. I would also tell her that it doesn't fit and ask for the receipt.
What on earth makes you think English isn’t the OP’s first language? I’m pretty fluent in several, but I doubt I could get the ‘Take A Break’ magazine style down as pat as the OP does in any of the others.
WrongWayApricot · 21/12/2021 09:37

I don't know why everyone is turning their noses up at a luxury coat. We weren't as well off as the rest of the family when I was a kid. My auntie got me a designer coat for Christmas one year, we would never have been able to afford it. It was lovely, kept me really warm, felt comfy, looked fab. I wore it for years, until I couldn't do the zip anymore and it still looked new by then. Of course at the time I would have preferred a game boy colour or something but I look back and realise she did us a turn that year. I also have a pair of pyjama shorts from the same auntie that are still great more than ten years later, if I could be bothered to replace the elastic waistband. Good quality clothes last for ages and are very nice presents imo. Especially if the receiver couldn't afford them, it can really help for years to come.

Deadringer · 21/12/2021 09:42

Well it reads to me as if it has been put through google translate, cannot fit instead of won't fit, or doesn't fit for example, and clothing instead of clothes, but i am perfectly happy to be proved wrong.

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Christmas Families
ViceLikeBlip · 21/12/2021 09:43

The more generous person isn't automatically "right".

Martyitsyourkids · 21/12/2021 09:54

Personally, I don't think it's rude to ask to swap it for the correct size, surely your sister would prefer that then the gift going to waste.
It does sound like you are annoyed at the difference in cos you spent so I'd set a budget for next year. Or suggest vouchers, or perhaps a shopping trip together?
I'd be annoyed at the lack of thought though.

HundredMilesAnHour · 21/12/2021 09:54

Can someone explain to me what a "luxury coat" is please?

gsaoej · 21/12/2021 09:55

Straight to the charity shop and forget about it.

It seems an odd gift in neon yellow, unless your ds has form for wearing stuff like that.

gsaoej · 21/12/2021 09:56

I expect a luxury coat is either an expensive one or one made with better materials than an average coat.

BendicksBittermints4Breakfast · 21/12/2021 09:57

@WarmWinterSun

Just accept the gift graciously as your son will grow into it eventually, and spend less on their gifts next time.
Or maybe keep it for the nephew's birthday or Christmas present next year? My SIL used to keep a suitcase of random stuff that she dug into for birthday presents, she gave a three years old a bikini and a pink blow up pig once!
BendicksBittermints4Breakfast · 21/12/2021 09:57

@HundredMilesAnHour

Can someone explain to me what a "luxury coat" is please?
Posh name tag maybe?
Camii · 21/12/2021 09:59

My kids would love the presents you gave.
Your sister was being tight and a cf. Charity shop for tracksuit and lesson learnt for next year

Chely · 21/12/2021 10:00

I'd try to exchange them. If you can't get the receipt then it may or may not be worth trying to exchange at the sale price and may be better to give it away or wait until he grows in to them.

Ours usually get bought stuff too small, had some rather odd designs too Hmm

Generalpost · 21/12/2021 10:02

Maybe she does not have as much money as you do and 10.00 is alot to her. You choice to spend what you did . Don't make her feel crap because her budget is less than yours.

I can understand you /your child do not like the gift I would not either never knew you could get neon track suits thought it was a 90s thing.

If it was me I would possibly take it to a charity shop. Wounder if the top part is OK to wear with jeans?

nitsandwormsdodger · 21/12/2021 10:04

Charity shop and then buy him what you think is appropriate as you clearly have all the money and taste

Bellafrenum · 21/12/2021 10:07

£10 is fine to spend on nieces and nephews. Your gifts sound very extravagant. If my child needed new trainers or a winter coat, I would buy them myself.

SparklyGlasses · 21/12/2021 10:09

It someone had spent a lot of ££s and it was too small, I'd mention it and offer to change it myself (or, if it was Next or somewhere that would probably exchange sizes, I'd do that myself). If it was too big, I'd just wait till they grow into it.

In your situation, I'd maybe give it to a charity shop and spend less money and effort next year or at least assume your DC won't get the same back. Or just keep it and pair the top and bottoms with more neutral items like jeans rather than put them together! At least he'll be easy to spot in the park in a bright yellow top!

Comefromaway · 21/12/2021 10:11

It really used to annoy me. Ds was very small for his age. It was a "thing". All my family knew how small he was, how difficult it was to get school uniform, how he got teased at school. How he had to wear toddler/clothes for young children. How he hated wearing clothes that were too big because it emphasised how small he was.

Yet they still bought him presents at Christmas that were two sizes too big.

ShrinkingViolet9 · 21/12/2021 10:11

Why is everyone being so sneery? It sounds like english isn't op's first language.

There is nothing I can see in the OP's initial post to suggest this.

The prose is a little "purple".

A "luxury coat" and at least two "cosy jumpers"; football strip, a branded tracksuit and branded trainers? Why so much? You have possibly spent more than their parents have spent on these children's main presents.

MissBattleaxe · 21/12/2021 10:15

Wow OP! You've spent the same on your nephew and niece as I would spend on my own child. Have I missed the bit where you and your sister have similar incomes? If not, then it's probably a bit embarrassing for someone on a budget to see their kids get presents that are bigger than they might be getting on the day.

Don't make an issue of it. Next year, decide a budget in advance, say £15/£20 per child. It's never OK to slate someone who can't spend as much as you.

MyrtlethePurpleTurtle · 21/12/2021 10:20

@Eredoor

Just take it to the charity shop and buy him something else, maybe a luxury coat.
😂
mam0918 · 21/12/2021 10:29

kids grow... 1 or 2 sizes too bigger is standard when buying for children because they get bigger, not smaller.

I wore a neon yellow tracksuit (and green, and blue, and pink matching ones) throughout the 90s and survived perfectly fine.

Actually was talking to DH about 'childhood clothing' the other day and he had the green one too (both of us had matching hat and fanny bag too lol).

cherryonthecakes · 21/12/2021 10:29

I'm assuming that the sister's kids are older than OP's kids and luxury winter coat = designer? Either way you've spent tonnes compared to your sister. Are your financial situations similar ? Was there such a massive difference last year?

I would be asking for a receipt and making a mental note to calm down with my present buying next time

Yogaandcocoa · 21/12/2021 10:33

I would have thought it was fine to give clothing that a child will grow into. Better bug than small.

But you are also complaining about the item itself and the price.

TheBestofTimesTheWorstofTimes · 21/12/2021 10:34

"overjoyed" (twice over) AND "delighted"? Wow you recrued your gift, sourced time-consumingly, generously and with the utmost care with much appreciation from the young gentleman.

kirinm · 21/12/2021 10:36

@Dora2168

We recently had an early Christmas party with the family and the aunts and uncles gave out presents to the children. My sister and I had a discussion before the event and she said that she would prefer clothing for her two children, so I carefully set about shopping with care for the right products and size of clothing. On the day, my nephew was overjoyed when he opened his gifts and saw that he had received a new football kit, Adidas sports tracksuit and matching Adidas trainers His sister had new luxury winter coat and cosy jumpers. Both children were delighted and overjoyed. My 8 year old then opened his gift, and I saw his face fall when he saw a bright neon yellow track top and joggers that were at least two sizes too big slide out of the gift wrap. I felt his disappointment, especially as I had taken the time to shop with care to give a useful gift. Should I return the items as it cannot fit my child or regift it? I don't think that I would let him wear a neon yellow tracksuit. I later found the exact item online for £10 on sale.
That is a lot to spend and unless you agree that sort of budget in advance, then I think you were always going to be disappointed.