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Original poster

Is it rude to say that a gift for your child is the wrong size?

199 replies

Dora2168 · 21/12/2021 07:44

We recently had an early Christmas party with the family and the aunts and uncles gave out presents to the children. My sister and I had a discussion before the event and she said that she would prefer clothing for her two children, so I carefully set about shopping with care for the right products and size of clothing. On the day, my nephew was overjoyed when he opened his gifts and saw that he had received a new football kit, Adidas sports tracksuit and matching Adidas trainers
His sister had new luxury winter coat and cosy jumpers. Both children were delighted and overjoyed. My 8 year old then opened his gift, and I saw his face fall when he saw a bright neon yellow track top and joggers that were at least two sizes too big slide out of the gift wrap. I felt his disappointment, especially as I had taken the time to shop with care to give a useful gift. Should I return the items as it cannot fit my child or regift it? I don't think that I would let him wear a neon yellow tracksuit.
I later found the exact item online for £10 on sale.

OP posts:

MerryMarigold · 21/12/2021 08:58

I think so anyway, but DD nor I have ever owned one.

TheLovelinessOfBaublyDemons · 21/12/2021 09:00

@StarryNightSky26

I'm howling at the idea of small children looking thrilled and delighted at the sight of overpriced sportswear

You're either lucky in that you don't have sporty kids or you have young/no children...ime every 7/9/8 year old boy I know would be thrilled with a football kit!

My 10 year old wouldn't and the safeguarding officer at his school seems to think this is a problem or weird. He just isn't particularly interested in football.

Tilltheend99 · 21/12/2021 09:01

I am constantly amazed at the new obsession for expecting anyone and everyone to pay for very expensive designer clothing for their kids, especially given the state of most family finances.

It’s reasonable to politely ask about a recipe to exchange for a different size or item but UABVU to complain about how much money someone spends on a gift for your child which is clearly the crux of your op.

A present, at anytime but particularly Christmas, is a small token of affection. The real purpose of Christmas and of life more broadly is spending time with friends and family and caring for one another.

If you had said you needed basic clothes or food to support your DS at a time of need and your sister hadn’t obliged despite being in a position to then I would understand the upset but no one owes your child branded gifts.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Christmas Families

CorvusPurpureus · 21/12/2021 09:02

Depends how old &/or clothes conscious ds is.

If he's a 6yo scruff bug, then a two sizes too big, cheap, hideous tracksuit that he doesn't like enough to care if it gers trashed, sounds like it would eventually be ideal for messy hobbies/tree climbing/unexpected bouts of 24 hour d&v bug...I'd shove it in a cupboard & keep it for that sort of thing.

If he's a 6' 16yo fashionista, probably not. Charity shop.

Or whatever, just ask for the receipt because it's the wrong size, obviously.

BUT if I didn't need the tenner, I'd be more inclined to suck it up, & then next year get out of exchanging gifts because of saving the planet/hard to know dc's tastes/cutting back financially/too many cousins in the extended family etc etc.

Which will all go down better without a back story of 'hmmm. They hated last year's tracksuit & this is clearly payback time.'

So if I didn't want a family row & could afford to let it go, I would, then start the 'let's not bother with gifts' conversation around next September...

TheLovelinessOfBaublyDemons · 21/12/2021 09:06

@SamMil

I thought everyone bought clothes a size up for kids?

It sounds like the problem is the style of the clothes rather than the size.

I would just quietly give to a charity shop, if your child (not you..!) doesn't like them. Maybe choose a shop far away from where your sister lives in case she spots the neon colours through the window

Not when it's birthdays and Christmas because they want to wear them on the day. Also I don't like it as we don't have storage.

AD80 · 21/12/2021 09:06

I would take it back. I wouldn't be offended if I knew someone had returned clothing I had bought for their dc. I would rather something they liked or actually fit.

Sally872 · 21/12/2021 09:07

Your gifts are sound very expensive. I expect sister is trying to keep up but struggling with the expense. I wouldn't want to make her feel more awkward. Tell your son you will exchange it and then get him a smaller tracksuit (different colour if you don't like it).

PegasusReturns · 21/12/2021 09:08

So you problem is that in your opinion your Dsis got your son a cheap ugly tracksuit?

Either she is always thoughtless with gift giving in which case you probably should have reigned your own spending in given you seem to expect a like for like exchange of this is a one off in which case presumably it’s a non issue.

CharityDingle · 21/12/2021 09:09

I'm wondering why the present 'slid' out of the wrapping...

Corbally · 21/12/2021 09:12

@CharityDingle

I'm wondering why the present 'slid' out of the wrapping...

I think it’s to heighten the reader’s sense of the slithery, shiny cheap neon hideousness of this repellent tracksuit (did I mention it was cheap?) in contrast to the ‘overjoyed’ other children whose expensive presents strutted out of the wrapping like supermodels down a catwalk.

Abraxan · 21/12/2021 09:16

It's not rude to see if they can pass you a gift receipt so you can change it for a new size.

With clothes etc I tend to leave the gift receipt inside the parcel just in case of sizing issues,

It's only rude if you start complaining about the gift in some way.

danidandan · 21/12/2021 09:17

@dotsandco

I'm laughing so much at your OTT descriptive writing!! 🤣🤣

Christ on a bike OP, just own it...you're actually RAGING (to coin a much used MN verb!) about the difference in money spent! 👍 You'll deny this of course...but we all know what your real problem is...you are super pissed off!

(No child, anywhere, has ever displayed such OTT gratitude and joy when opening a sodding jumper and anorak 🤣)

Best comment 😂😂

Abraxan · 21/12/2021 09:17

@crosbystillsandmash

I'm howling at the idea of small children looking thrilled and delighted at the sight of overpriced sportswear.

Don't children skip any present that feels like clothing

Not all no! Lots of children enjoy getting clothes, especially if it is something they dint necessarily usually have - such as branded items or specific football kits.

These children aren't toddlers after all.

00100001 · 21/12/2021 09:18

@Mellowyellow222

Children are rarely thrilled and delighted to receive clothes.

I always remember an old episode of Roseanne where she wrapped all DJ’s presents inside clothes, and he was so excited when they were toys and not clothes😂.

Perhaps your sister has taught her children to be gracious when receiving g any gifts? While your son struggled to hide his disappointment.

To be fair, my lad was over the flipping moon when ingot him a Dr Who dressing gown when he was 8. Lived in the bloody thing!

Forgetaboutme · 21/12/2021 09:18

My son loves neon yellow so he would be overjoyed to see such vibrant colours emerge from the wrapping paper.

Deadringer · 21/12/2021 09:18

Why is everyone being so sneery? It sounds like english isn't op's first language. I think you spent too much and your expectations were too high, you will know next year to spend a bit less and be aware that your sister doesn't put as much thought into her gifts as you. I would also tell her that it doesn't fit and ask for the receipt.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 21/12/2021 09:22

@Deadringer

You realise that if English is her first language, then your post is also sneery?

Abraxan · 21/12/2021 09:22

The issue appears to be the disparity between your gifts and your sister's gifts.
Your son is 8y so this can't be the first time you've both bought Christmas gifts for one another's children.
Is the disparity in spending normally an issue.

You appear to have spent in excess of £100 per child potentially.
Is this how much everyone in your family normally spends?

Next time you need to discuss budgets perhaps.

TheUsualChaos · 21/12/2021 09:24

Do you normally spend a lot more than your sister? As that's does seem an extreme difference. I think you just put it down to experience and next time if you're buying each other clothes, make sure you say what sizes to get.

Rubyupbeat · 21/12/2021 09:25

I don't believe in clothing as presents for young children (but that's just my preference) and......
What the heck is a 'Luxury coat'? Can you provide a link, please, as I am truly curious.

WutheringHeights66 · 21/12/2021 09:25

@StarryNightSky26

I'm howling at the idea of small children looking thrilled and delighted at the sight of overpriced sportswear

You're either lucky in that you don't have sporty kids or you have young/no children...ime every 7/9/8 year old boy I know would be thrilled with a football kit!

I agree.

Personally I detest football wear but I’m not wearing it and certainly my son and his friends at that age had hideous football shirts for their favourite club or England rugby shirts on their Christmas list.

appleturnovers · 21/12/2021 09:26

In my experience it's perfectly normal to say clothes are the wrong size, could you exchange it or give us the receipt so we can exchange it. Given how much sizes vary between shops, even if you know the person's size you can still end up with something that doesn't fit right, so not rude at all.

What is rude is going on about how much you hate the present and mentioning how cheap it was. We don't all have loads of money to spend on gifts.

Iwonder08 · 21/12/2021 09:29

Can't you talk to your relatives about the expected budget? This year, if your son doesn't like the colours then give it away. Next year spend less

DelphiniumBlue · 21/12/2021 09:31

It's a learning point for your DS. We all get given presents that are not exactly what we wanted, and we learn to smile and thank the giver politely.
He's probably forgotten about it already ( unless you remind him).
You say that your sister specifically asked for clothes for her DC, but not that you asked for them for yours. Also, ( forgive me, I'm not up on football) is neon yellow the colour of any particular team?
You could ask her for the receipt so that you can get the right size, or , since you clearly have a lot of money at your disposal, get something else for your DS if you think he is hard-done-by.
Or you could take a photo of him in his too-big neon yellow outfit and post it on social media thanking your sis for her lovely gift. Which would be quite fun if you think she has been deliberately mean and horrible.
Alternatively you could take the view that she's skint and done her best/just bad at present buying and move on.

DottyHarmer · 21/12/2021 09:33

Given it was £10 give it to the charity shop or put in one of those bags that come through the door. If you ds would wear it (in private!) then it could come in useful.

Going forward, you have seen your dsis’s budget - whether through necessity or parsimony - so next year downgrade your own gifts so there is some parity (and you won’t get mad).

As for taste - well, there’s no helping that. I remember a few years ago a poster “raging” that someone had given her ds a Bob the Builder duvet set when her ds’s bedroom had been done by an interior designer ….

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