How often do you have a big argument with your partner?

[garden4569]

Curious to know, what you'd answer here, by big argument I.mean losing your shit, very raised voice, swearing etc . Thanks

About every 6 months/a year but general bickering more frequently

I cant remember last time I had an argument. May e 15 years ago when the kids were young and everyone was getting on everyone's nerves.
Theres nothing to argue about. 🤷‍♀️
Although I do get annoyed when Dh leaves stuff near the dishwasher and he gets annoyed with me when I leave my slippers on his side of the bed.

Never. We've been angry with each other, but we have never screamed or sworn at each other in the 25y we've been together.

Thanks for your replies

Never. We're 15 yrs in. Well suited to each other.

Never , been together 17 years we just don't argue . We have nothing to fall out about.

What prompted the thread garden4569
Are you ok?

Never.

@Watchingpeppa12

About every 6 months/a year but general bickering more frequently

About the same. I think covid and us being in the same house all the time has put more pressure on and we have bickered more then we did before but it’s all very small stuff

Probably about once a year. It's usually because one of us is just tired or hangry.

We never have. We’ve been married for 12 years.
We’ve had disagreements, but we’ve never any shouting or swearing.

I've screamed/sworn at DH twice in 20 years of marriage. One of those times was when my mother was dying so I was very sensitive. He said the wrong thing at the wrong moment, but nothing awful - I'm sure he meant well. The other was also an overreaction on my part due to my own insecurities. He has never raised his voice or sworn at me or even come close. He is very calm!

A handful of times over 14 years together, usually around the time DDs were babies and we were sleep deprived. Low level bickering happens often though!

@ShirleyPhallus definitely, the bickering is usually because the kids are being a holes, we are really tired, a bit skint or hungry 🤣 it then translates into arguing about something SO ridiculous. Then we get over it

Once a month Even at the time I know it's down to PMS, but there's nothing I can do about it

At the moment every few days or so!! We have a 5 month old a three year old and have just moved house on top of running a business and Christmas stress!

They are short lived but we are snapping more than we’d like. Been together 15 years and love each other very much - it’s not about how often you argue (some people are more expressive!) it’s how you make up and move forward. Also about the things you say - for example I will swear in an argument but I wouldn’t call my husband names or belittle him etc

We never swear or personally attack each other. We do have raised voice arguments occasionally, although not proper shouting. Just frustration etc. Maybe every couple of months. We went through a weird phase where we argued like every weekend but I think that was because I was going through a bad time. Ordinarily no more than every few months.

With ExDP, probably once in the 15 years we were together. I'd bite my tongue, fester over things and it would build and build...

Current DP, twice in the 2 years we've been together with some bickering inbetween. Im at the stage in my life now where if im not happy, i'll say so... and so will DP. It's a totally different dynamic to my last relationship

We have been through various phases over 20 years when it comes to arguing. We usually look for the root cause, it's generally not each other. Once it was because I wasn't coping with my then undiagnosed autism and was far too reactive. Another time it was DH medication so we had that reviewed and changed.

We had a big argument recently with Xmas stress and it was a big deal, hasn’t happened in best part of a year. Involved swearing and crying but not shouting. And the swearing was unusual, that’s maybe happened only a couple of times in 12yrs.

With my ex- almost every month. I'd get the silent treatment untill he decided he wanted an argument & it would escalate. Laterally every argument ended in violence. I truly believe that if I hadn't ended it I'd either be dead or up for manslaughter/self defence. He even refused to hand my DD back untill he SEEN my covid PCR results.
Iv been with my new partner nearly 2years, we have had heated discussions but never an argument/raised voices ect. Like with my ex. However I spent the first year waiting for my pervious experience to be the same with my new partner. But with counselling & being open to my partner I know I'm
Safe.

Probably once or twice a year on average.

One of us will flare up and down pretty quickly but apologise soon after.

I knew this thread would be inundated with the “we never argue” people .

We properly argue maybe 4 times a year? Depends what stress etc. we’re under at the time.

I personally don’t think arguing in itself is a problem, as long as it’s not all the time and you don’t resort to nasty personal insults. Some of the most unhealthy relationships I’ve seen have been with “we never argue” couples who have a bubbling undercurrent of resentment or pressure for everything to be perfect instead of just getting things off their chest and expressing their emotions.

I knew this thread would be inundated with the “we never argue” people grin.
I guess people can only respond with their own personal expierences.🤷‍♀️

Never shouted or sworn at each other. We argue less than once a year and try to keep it as constructive as possible (both because of turbulent childhoods, so both very anxious about conflict). Together 7 years, although no kids so under significantly less stress/strain than other relationships perhaps!