How often do you have a big argument with your partner?

[garden4569]

Curious to know, what you'd answer here, by big argument I.mean losing your shit, very raised voice, swearing etc . Thanks

@SouthLondon1

I think arguing is good! Me and my ex never argued and I think that was part of the problem - we never aired our grievances properly

We do air our grievances… we discuss it and resolve it. No need for raised voices or swearing.

Maybe every couple of years. I can tell when he's building up to it now which makes me anxious (and probably makes things worse)

@SouthLondon1 there are ways of airing grievances without shouting and swearing though

True. But the passionless opposite is sometimes not great

We tend to save our passion for the bedroom.

@Alarmset Right there with you - when the hormones hit I just see red. Luckily my DH accepts it since it comes with a hefty dose of apology once I’ve calmed down!

We bicker occasionally, maybe disagree once every few years, but it's always quickly followed by an apology from both of us and never ever shouting and swearing.

Never, in 15 years. Neither of us are shouty people and we hate drama - I couldn't bear to live with someone who shouted. We have disagreements and get very sharp with each other, but it comes to a head, we exchange cross words, and then it's all over.

Never with dp, rarely with exh we had the least shouty divorce ever

Once a decade usually, I would argue more often but he doesn’t engage and there’s only so long you can rant to yourself.

We've been together 15yrs. Big rows usually happen once every 6-12 months. It's not ideal, but it blows out all the cobwebs and we talk afterwards to resolve whatever the building issue had been. In recent years it has been much quicker to resolve because DH has worked hard to knock the days of post-row sulking on the head, meaning we can talk sooner. Our world is usually righted within 12-24hrs now.
When we had a particular rough patch, the rows were every 1-2 months.

One serious argument, some months back, that led to my husband becoming abusive.

We've been together nearly 25 years and I will be leaving him in the new year.

Getting a bit grumpy with each other and making the odd snippy remark due to tiredness, anxiety etc - maybe every other month or longer.

Me being grumpy and unreasonable and mentally screaming inside because I think he's impossible/insufferable, usually because hormones, and which he doesn't know much about - once every 2 weeks.

Things escalating into a bigger argument lasting overnight, with mean things muttered and flouncing out - about half a dozen times in 23 years.

I do think that some couples and families argue more frequently and scream awful things to each other, only for everything to be forgotten within minutes or hours; and I've witnessed terrible rifts lasting up to a year suddenly being forgotten overnight. I think it depends what you grew up with.

There were rarely any rows in our house, only the occasional blow up - but that did mean that things were left unsaid and therefore festered, leading to family secrets and then a huge rift over a will. I tend to keep quiet in my adult life.

Maybe twice a year? We tend not to bicker too much in between then have a bit of a blow out. It is generally when we are both tired and stressed about our child with ASN. Doesn't last long and then we apologise.

We've never shouted or sworn at each other. Been together almost 15 years.

About once a year.

Frank and heated discussions but not yelling at each other and not swearing, certainly never swearing AT each other - Very rare. Once or twice a year? Make up within the day.

Bickering - probably once a month (PMS + Hangry), always make up within the day.

We don’t argue and v rarely bicker and if we do bicker, it will be because one of us was horribly tired and we always apologise straight after. We just respect one another too much to shout and scream at each other. I just don’t understand why some couples stay together when there is boy more resentment than love between them

‘Boy’ should be ‘obviously’

Obviously 🤷🏻‍♀️

We bicker more than really row. Just yesterday he asked my opinion on something, he didn't like my answer and I told him to shove my opinion up his arse! We've been together 30 years.

Couple of times in 14 years and we've had a few too many drinks. We have disagreements, occasionally argue but this kind of thing isn't healthy and not something either of us would tolerate as standard in our relationship.

I’ve never sworn at any partner or been sworn at, and I’ve been through a divorce. Me and my current DP will probably have a “big” fight as in be genuinely annoyed with each other maybe every 6 months -maybe raised voices but don’t shout and never swear at one an other or call names or anything like that.

"True. But the passionless opposite is sometimes not great"

@SouthLondon1 I find it sad that you think a relationship where a couple talks instead of insulting each is devoid of passion.

Never after the first one about 30 years ago. I decided never to sweat the small stuff and to nip things in the bud as soon as anything came up so we don't. Don't get me wrong we probably could but at 49 and 54 not worth the stress.

Probably every weekend...though not about anything serious. We’re really trying to improve. It’s hard. Dp has ADHD and doesn’t listen to me most of the time and lives in his own little bubble. It usually happens when I’m completely burnt out from taking care of everything myself (house, children, bills, getting everyone ready to go out while dp reads his book, etc. ). It’s mostly me who looses it so I’m really trying to work on myself as I don’t want ds to grow up with this. I was never like this before dp and kids.