How often do you have a big argument with your partner?

[garden4569]

Curious to know, what you'd answer here, by big argument I.mean losing your shit, very raised voice, swearing etc . Thanks

He never shouts. I used to but you feel a bit silly shouting on your own so I learned how to calmly communicate.

That was the first year or so so about 21,22 years ago since I last yelled at my husband while he stood there and said we can't resolve anything while you're shouting.

@RosieGuacamosie some people are just so well suited that they just don't fall out . But I do know what you mean - with my ex you couldn't argue with him as he talked over you constantly and didn't let you have an opinion or dare to disagree with him , so yes there was a lot of tension simmering on my part. My DH is so laid back , he is not an argumentative person at all and honestly we may disagree on very small things but they are so minor it's not worth blowing out of proportion anyway.

Very rarely. Pre DC, never in 10years. In baby/toddler years when we were severely sleep deprived - often. We’re well out of that now and I can’t remember the last time we shouted or swore at each other.

I think if you’re shouting and swearing at each other regularly, something isn’t right. Are you ok?

Honestly never have in 22 years.
We have tiffs, disagreements and grumps a few times a month but count on the fingers of one hand the number of times we have sworn at rachothrr

Shouting and swearing never. We do occasionally get cross with each other but we will say our piece and then stay out of each other’s way until we feel less cross/upset.

I personally don’t think arguing in itself is a problem, as long as it’s not all the time and you don’t resort to nasty personal insults. Some of the most unhealthy relationships I’ve seen have been with “we never argue” couples who have a bubbling undercurrent of resentment or pressure for everything to be perfect instead of just getting things off their chest and expressing their emotions

Thankfully for us, we never argue and we also don’t have a bubbling undercurrent of resentment or pressure… we just discuss issues or differences of opinion like adults, sort it out and move on.

Maybe every 3/4 months? One of us usually storms off afterwards, and when we have both calmed down we apologise to each other and calmly talk out whatever the issue was. We often laugh at how ridiculous it was. We both come from angry “shouty” families, which I think is a contributing factor.

We had one just yesterday, whilst Christmas shopping, a few things that had built up. When he said “All you you do is criticise me - you are your mothers daughter”, I lost my temper and snarled “Well, you are certainly your mothers son!” (You’d have to know our mothers to understand the severity of the insults being thrown here).

I was the one who marched off - I went to a cafe and had a cup of tea and calmed down for half an hour. I then phoned him, he came to where I was, I offered him half my brownie as a peace offering, then he apologised and so did I.

However, if you’d passed us in M & S and heard the heated exchange (no actual shouting but it would have been obvious we were arguing; to someone paying attention) you could be forgiven for thinking we have a terrible marriage. I don’t think that is the case though

( If we’d been at home though, there would have been more actual shouting , and slamming of doors, which could be either of us )

We only ever bicker, we don't go in for screaming and shouting because neither of us easily loses our temper. I was brought up with parents and siblings who argued and shouted a lot and I hated it.

No, we have the odd snap but it's much easier for us to talk about and resolve our issues.

We tend to bicker or have the odd grumble every few months but have never had a blowup argument to the level you describe, with shouting and swearing

Too much. We weren’t really arguers until kids, but since kids the stress is unreal and we quite often argue. Less than in the first year (I’d have quite merrily murdered him at times) but too much really to be a normal amount. He’d probably disagree with me though

What my husband would consider a big row is a minor disagreement in most peoples book and what I would consider a big row would constitute domestic violence but we both had very different upbringings. We never shout and swear, we occasionally argue and I will leave the room on a strop but we make up very quickly. This happens maybe once every 6 months maximum. 15 years together

We've had arguments of course but never shouted or sworn at each other that's quite extreme. Together 2 decades.

Never screamed or shouted but had a very long and drawn out argument about five years ago, it went on for hours. It started because I had severe PND and told him to move out of our house as I couldn't physically stand him being around me. He did bless him but six months later I let him back and we've never argued since, although we do bicker occasionally.

This is the reason we've never had a second child as I couldn't cope with going through that again - I hate arguing, I still have nightmares about that day.

Very rarely. Last time was about 18 months ago. A bit of shouting, no swearing at each other, and a flounce out to cool off.

We've been together for nearly 34 years and in the last 16 years have argued like that twice.

Not sure before that, but very rarely

Never.

Never.
I go the other way, so angry I can't even speak to him.
Only happened once when he lost one of our dogs.

All ended well when somebody informed the tog warden they had seem her, they brought her home.

Shouting and swearing never happens. In the 20 years we have been together we have had about 5 or 6 big arguments but no shouting just a strong disagreement where we might not want to talk to each other for a day or so while we sort out heads out. Has been maybe 4 years since we last argued.

Shouting and swearing at anyone is unnecessary, especially someone you’re meant to love. I’d hate to live like that. My husband and I don’t fight, there’s nothing we fundamentally disagree on and I don’t engage in arguments with anyone, it’s not worth my time.

Why do you ask?

Did you have a name change fail, OP?

Never have blazing rows or hurl personal insults at each other. We have disagreements from time to time but usually sort them out without the need for raised voices or tantrums. I would be horrified with myself if I said something nasty that I could not take back.

Never even had a disagreement let alone an argument.

He has occasionally been drunk and been a bit of an arse but I've ignored it and gone to sleep.

Never in 19 years.

Never. We haven’t sworn or raised our voices at each other even once in 10 years, and I wouldn’t be with someone who thought it was acceptable to do so.