How often do you have a big argument with your partner?

[garden4569]

Curious to know, what you'd answer here, by big argument I.mean losing your shit, very raised voice, swearing etc . Thanks

At least once a week. I am tired, work full time. Have a 1 and 3 year old. Do all the chores (bar washing up), drop offs and pick ups, feeds, finances, cooking running a household and stressful job. Dh is a stay at home parent. I literally have to spoon feed dh as to what to do but it is starting to get better.

Never and we have been together 16 years.

3 times in 16 years, all 3 his fault- genuinely.

Never. We've been together 16 years married for 9. We have never lost our shit or sworn at each other. In my opinion that would constitute an unhealthy relationship.

I’ve been with dh 18 years. We’ve never had an argument where we’ve shouted and sworn at each other. I have lost my shit with him by shouting loudly maybe 5 times in 18 years but he’s never retaliated! We’ve had much more minor rows - maybe 1 a year.

Been together nearly 20 years and I don't remember any big arguments and I don't think we've ever shouted at each other. However we do bicker a lot which can really get me down.

Never had so much as a cross word, never mind full on argument.

Been together 14 years, probably had 3 like you describe and not for years and years now.

Probably twice in 30 years.

However we bicker constantly........ not sure if that's healthy or not. But never screaming rows..... find that really upsetting.

Never, but we don’t live together, and met in our forties - I think we probably mainly only see the best of each other, and know which hills we’re prepared to die on. I don’t come from a family that shouted (bubbling resentment and stonewalling was our forte) and I swore when I grew up that I’d live in a house where neither that nor shouting at each other would be acceptable).

My friend and her husband shout at each other all the time, but they have a very solid relationship - just very different personalities and temperaments to us.

Previous boyfriend was a shouter and swearer and it used to terrify me. It was quite an emotionally abusive relationship and I’m so glad I managed to get out of it. If the shouting makes you cry (as it did me) then I’d suggest that’s not right.

@Dilbertian

Never. We've been angry with each other, but we have never screamed or sworn at each other in the 25y we've been together.

Ditto.

We have literally never had a big argument- this is our 6th Christmas together. But we’re also quite calm people. I can’t think of the last time I swore and I rarely lose my temper.

Raised voices and a few swear words maybe two or three times a year, but never losing our shit to the point where we're screaming at each other. Most months there is low level bickering but both of us are good at saying sorry and we don't drag rows out for days on end.

Why do you ask, OP?

About once every 3 months. I have PMDD and sometimes it just gets too much. It's been stressful times for us (same as many others) so there's a lot to get in an argument about! Mostly money and household stuff.

Before we had kids it was once a month. I wasn't medicated for PMDD then! Although that's the main cause of me blowing up he is also a knob lol.

We bicker all the time atm too. Bit shit really!

About four times a year, but of bickering in between. I’m not worried and neither is he, we’re happy the vast majority of the time

In 20 years probably 3 times.

Honestly- never. Been together nearly 16 years. We get annoyed with each other, disagree, take deep breaths and walk away, sigh and roll eyes and complain about each other. But never once had an argument. What's the point? I'd be right anyway

Usually once a year or 18 months, if it happens twice in a year then I always think oops we need to do some work.

Plenty of bickering in between

losing your shit, very raised voice, swearing etc

Never

Big argument - once every few years? We haven't had one in ages. The closest we got recently was when I ordered a tumble dryer without measuring first and then he got all annoyed because he decided it meant we needed new cabinets and got all stressed... Easily resolved as he pointed out why he wanted cabinets, I agreed (having overlooked something before) and we went to ikea to look at them.

Been together 11 years.

Never.

With my previous partner it was more frequent with my ex as he had huge anger issues and used to spoil for an argument but thankfully only once in front of the kids and that was the last time because i got rid.

I am traumatised, genuinely scarred by the arguing my parents did in front of us kids. It was truly truly awful.

I think arguing is good! Me and my ex never argued and I think that was part of the problem - we never aired our grievances properly

Exasperated comments - probably once every few weeks? It generally blows over.

We are not holding onto resentments. We just tend to talk about stuff rather than argue.

Probably once a year. Not much these days. It's usually when neither of us is listening to the other so it escalated into raised voices. Everything ok?

Probably every 6 months and it's always me who ends up exploding over something that's tipped me over the edge. My husband hates arguments so doesn't react which will only upset me more causing the explosion 🤦🏼‍♀️