How often do you have a big argument with your partner?

[garden4569]

Curious to know, what you'd answer here, by big argument I.mean losing your shit, very raised voice, swearing etc . Thanks

Probably about 18 months ago, but we were in a very stressful situation . We do have heated discussions but work them out in a respected manner. We also work together so have lots of time to together, but we mainly laugh with each other, after 23 years we have found a lovely balance .

Never. 21 years together. We have never sworn or shouted at each other.

The secret to a long marriage is never hating each other on the same day

We’ve maybe had 4 proper arguments in 20 years. Can’t remember what any of them were about now, both tired and stressed probably. We do bicker a bit, nothing that’s not resolved within minutes though.

We definitely bicker, SIL always comments on it whenever they visit :o we don't see that as arguing though. We are just both generally convinced we are right :o

Was probably at least every month with my ex/child's father and I finally had enough. I've been with my new partner a few months now and we've never so much as even bickered (yet!) however we are much more suited to eachother.

About once a week. We're not in a good place at the moment.

Never. I won't be shouted at, by anyone.

If you are angry, take it elsewhere then discuss it when you have calmed down.

We don't really argue though, 19 years in and we pretty much know what each other wants and doesn't want. (Most the time)

It’s mostly me who looses it so I’m really trying to work on myself as I don’t want ds to grow up with this

From what you've said, it's not you that's the problem.

Once a year maybe.

Ten years together and we've never really had a row. Had the odd bicker but nothing more than that.

Never, he gets snappy, I ignore it, he apologises. 43 years together. I’m very calm, for me to shout it would need to be serious.

We are very sweary. We call each other all sorts pretty much weekly. But it’s reciprocal.

Proper arguments, every few months maybe, we are both quite fiery. We manage it better these days as can’t do it when DD home. We had a cracking one this month though when DD was at nursery. We both give as good as we get though, no-one is being “done to” as it were. It blows over as quickly as it starts too. We do 0-100 in 10 mins and are friends again within an hour.

I couldn’t do with someone passive, or a sulker. Better to get it all out and off your chest I think, like crying.

Never. We bicker occasionally but I couldn’t cope with shouting and bawling. I didn’t grow up in a ‘shouty’ house and I’ve never felt comfortable with people loosing control.

@RosieGuacamosie you can express emotions and get things off your chest without losing your temper .

I couldn’t do with someone passive, or a sulker. Better to get it all out and off your chest I think, like crying

People who say things like this seem to disregard the middle ground, which is discussing issues like adults.

Like most others there is a middle ground. No swearing in anger at each other in anger at all for us nearly 6 years in. That would be across the line for both of us.

We disagree and "have it out" probably once every 3 months but it is a heated discussion , no raised voices really but an argument nonetheless.

Twice I have shouted in 6 years. Both were occasions he really pushed me (in his previous behaviour not literally ) but I apologised for the shouting afterwards. Not for what I said I will be honest because it needed to be said. But I did apologise for shouting.

No simmering resentments but DP go to is to shutdown and we then have to talk it out to bring him out.

A couple not disagreeing is not the same as not having a shouting screaming row.

We have arguments - as in one of us will snap a bit at the other and the other will snap back and then we will figure it out. We have also had very very serious discussion of disagrements about life/choices/next stages etc.

but losing your shit, very raised voice, swearing etc honestly the only time in 30 years of marriage that this happened (and I went and slept with our youngest that night - what a fight) was the decision to invade Iraq. We were living in the US and I thought it was an horrendous decision, reprehensible on every level. DH while normally politically similar to me believed the WOMD thing and the need to get rid of Saddam Hussein. He has since said to me that I was right - like long since.

If you think the opposite of having screaming rows is passionless - well that is why you end up in a relationship with screaming rows. You are mistaking venom and anger for passion and choosing badly because of that. Passion and anger are not remotely the same thing.