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Original poster

Help! My son uttered the words I've been dreading...

238 replies

delightly · 10/12/2021 16:10

He came in from school, sat down beside me and said "By the way, I think you and Dad are Santa. You drink the milk and eat the mince pie. Plus the tooth fairy isn't real either, I think you put the money down and do whatever with the tooth".

He's 8. And he said it all in front of his 5 year old brother!! FML. Then he dissected put the kibosh on the Easter bunny Hmm

I have read many threads about this on here over the years and had this moment all planned.... and then went to complete pieces when it actually happened

He's started questioning everything, we've watched a few movies lately and he's talking about how it's not real with green screens and it's actors pretending such and such. He's been pretty cynical in general lately!

What should I do?? I remember when I was starting to question Santa and my stepmum confirmed it right away which was devastating, I still remember how gutted I was!

OP posts:
Happyher · 11/12/2021 18:35

I had to tell my son one Christmas Eve when he was about 8 that Santa wasn’t real as he was terrified of a strange man coming in his room at night. He is autistic which probably exacerbated his fear but it would have been cruel not to. We do laugh about it now though

Yuledo · 11/12/2021 18:48

I just used to say that if you don’t believe then you won’t get any presents from Santa will you? It made them keep up the pretence even if we all knew they knew. Even now they are adults we still say the same.

pacificblue · 11/12/2021 18:56

I love this. My tactic too

Interested in this thread?

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5 year olds 8 year olds
Dnaltocs · 11/12/2021 19:02

All in our home ‘believe’ in Santa.
All are grownup.
On Christmas morning, we all have stockings from Santa - who else would leave them?
I never broke the magic at home and never told my parents that I didn’t believe.

My grownup children keep the tradition and I’m proud they do.
Merry Christmas one and all x🎄

herecomesthsun · 11/12/2021 19:11

We have never really bigged up Santa that much. We haven't really elaborated the story. But we have taken the kids to see Santa at Christmas and I have got my kids (13 and 9 ) the videos from Santa this year.

We have lovely pictures of a visit to Santa at a garden centre from 2019. The teen came along as another "adult" and enjoyed the Christmas tea!

We do go carol singing and when covid isn't a problem went to the village church quite regularly. We are pretty liberal about it all, the kids are still interested in church, it's a different sort of believing and narrative to the whole delight of Christmas

cafenoirbiscuit · 11/12/2021 19:17

A little part of me still hopes he will have been, on Christmas morning

bringonyourwreckingball · 11/12/2021 19:20

I just used to shrug and say ‘well, if you’re willing to take that chance…’ By the age of 12 it was an in joke. I don’t actually know when they stopped believing for real

Kellnic · 11/12/2021 19:31

Simple, our house rule is you have to believe to receive. Of course the elder twigged years ago, but saying this was enough for her to keep her mouth shut. I tried to swap stockings over to other system (they are mid/late teens now).

telvg · 11/12/2021 19:38

When my niece, who’s got adhd, was told by my brother, she threw herself on the floor and sobbed and screamed. My brother wished they hadn’t told her. Now ny daughter is 10. Last year, she didn’t sleep for a week after seeing an item she’d had for Christmas in my Amazon orders. She’s made it work in a way in her head which makes Santa real. So like parents can sometimes help Santa, or something similar. She wants to believe in the magic, so I shall let her for another year. When she’s ready, she won’t.

MarieInternette · 11/12/2021 20:13

“If you don’t believe you don’t receive.”

Always did it for mine.

Kittysummer · 11/12/2021 20:15

I told mine if you don’t believe, you get nothing, they still believe at 30, 29, 23 and 20!

JesusSufferingFuck22 · 11/12/2021 20:34

My two figured it out between them when they were 8 and 5. It all started with them figuring out the tooth fairy wasn't real. To be honest they were really annoyed about all the deception. We talked about who was going to bring the presents now that they know Santa isn't real. I'd always said "Christmas is magical":to fend off some of their questions so we decided we'd pretend Magic Penguins put the presents under the tree.

restingbitchface30 · 11/12/2021 20:36

Don’t undermine his intelligence and explain he’s right but to still keep Santa a thing for his sibling. He’s obviously very bright to question it at 8. I think I was 11!

vickyp0llard · 11/12/2021 21:01

8 is quite a good stint IMO. I stopped believing at 6, I thought that if he was real he should be able to read my mind, not just get me the things I'd asked my parents for - so one Xmas eve I wished for a K'nex set. Christmas Day, obviously it wasn't there. That's when I knew it was just my parents!

ChuckMater · 11/12/2021 21:05

My dm always told me 'if you don't believe you don't get' i was the youngest DC, it left it up to me. The magic was still felt for me, and thinking about it probably for her too. Still to this day weve not had the conversation.

mumwon · 11/12/2021 21:05

When oldest dd showed signs of not believing I told her that if she wanted presents Father Christmas existed - OK!

Itsnotdeep · 11/12/2021 21:09

my dd asked me if the Elf was real this week. I said " what do you think x?" She said "I think he's real" So we left it there.

Jack80 · 11/12/2021 21:13

Tell them to keep the magic for little sibling but you can get them in on it and let them choose what Santa gives them

payens · 11/12/2021 21:39

Perhaps it's better not to lie to your children in the first place

Jacketpotato84 · 11/12/2021 22:01

Tbf I think some of the kids have more fun on halloween ! :)

They know the witches and the ghosties are just dressed up right? Grin

Postitmug · 11/12/2021 22:18

@Briony123 Why were the presents from Santa under your tree beforehand? I've never known anyone do that?!

Mamanyt · 11/12/2021 22:42

Tell him that he is right, but that his brother still believes, and that it would be cruel to tell him that VERY adult secret...that the spirit of Santa makes parents want to give to their children on that special day, and the same is true of the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. IF he seems amenable, ask him to join in the "fun" of "being Santa" for his brother.

TimeToStop · 11/12/2021 22:42

I'm sure this has already been said, but how bizarre to be upset that your child has discovered that you've been lying to them and is questioning why. Also that you describe his questioning as 'cynical.' What a weird, weird world we exist in.

TimeToStop · 11/12/2021 22:50

"Believe to receive" - how is that even a thing?

Wafflesnsniffles · 11/12/2021 22:56

Id tell them both the truth. I really hate the way people cling to the idea that Christmas is somehow only magical if you lie to your kids and tell them Santa is real. Christmas is a fabulous time without any need for lying. Its so weird that all year we tell our kids not to lie but at Christmas is apparently fine to lie to them. Boggles my brain every year.