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Original poster

Adult ADHD “I can’t do that now - I’ve got that thing at 3!”

144 replies

SparrowBird · 06/12/2021 12:41

I’ve just watched a skit by Connor DeWolfe on Instagram, he’s a young man who has ADHD and posts really relatable content! It went:

  • Why haven’t you done anything today?
  • I’ve got a thing at 3pm. I can’t do anything until I’m finished with that thing.
  • Why can’t you do anything until you’re done with the thing?
  • Because I have the thing!!

It really made me smile because I’m exactly the same. I had a meeting first thing which finished at 11am. I have another meeting at 2:30 and I simply can’t do anything until that meeting! I can’t focus on another task or think about anything else, until the 2:30 meeting is done!

Anyone else?! Grin

OP posts:
parrotonmyshoulder · 06/12/2021 12:43

Yes. It makes me entirely dysfunctional really! Medication helps, definitely. I’m off sick today (not physical) and can’t do anything that will help because I’m waiting for a 3pm phone call!

TooWicked · 06/12/2021 12:43

I kind of have this, but I don’t think I have ADHD Confused

Are you saying it’s an ADHD related thing?

parrotonmyshoulder · 06/12/2021 12:45

Definitely an adhd related thing, but only one of many things!

Original poster
SparrowBird · 06/12/2021 12:49

@parrotonmyshoulder

Yes. It makes me entirely dysfunctional really! Medication helps, definitely. I’m off sick today (not physical) and can’t do anything that will help because I’m waiting for a 3pm phone call!
I know exactly how you feel!

The outcome is that the work I should be doing between 11-2 will have to be done in my own time, in the evening. It’s so frustrating. But at least I don’t beat myself up about it any more. It’s just the way my brain is wired!

OP posts:
Kuachui · 06/12/2021 12:51

i also have this but dont think i have adhd :S its really frustrating, same as i will keep looking at the clock even if i know i have a good 3 or 4 hours until the thing. ill make sure im ready like 2 hours before the thing and that annoys me too because then im just sitting there clock watching

TooWicked · 06/12/2021 12:56

I’m actually sat outside a 1pm appointment, I got here at 12.30 thinking ‘well I’m doing naff all at home, just clock watching and waiting for the time I need to leave, so I might as well leave’.

INeedNewShoes · 06/12/2021 12:57

I've found the transition to DD starting school very difficult. As there is now a 'thing at 3' every bloody day.

hilariousnamehere · 06/12/2021 12:57

Arghhhhh yes me! And it makes life much less productive than I'd like!

hesbeen2021 · 06/12/2021 12:58

Anxiety and just plain old procrastination can cause this too
I have this but I certainly dont have ADHD

MangoBiscuit · 06/12/2021 12:59

Yes! If i need to get multiple "things" done in a day, then I have to plot out my day from start to finish. School runs, meetings, which part of my work, when I'm having a cup of tea, everything. If I don't, time between the things is a complete waste. If I don't schedule tea breaks, I won't have any, because I'll be focussed on getting the plan done, and totally forget to eat or drink. I also then end up on high alert for the whole day (possibly more due to anxiety disorders than ADHD, but they tend to gang up on me!) It's exhausting.

I suppose the up side is that I now understand it better, and I know to schedule self care tasks, and some proper recovery time if I'm too busy.

Tryingtogetitright · 06/12/2021 12:59

Me!

MelonTits · 06/12/2021 13:00

This is like my DH.

“Coming to parkrun this morning?”
“But we’re going for drinks at Helen & Dave’s today..!”
“Yeah, that’s 11 hours later”

BogRollBOGOF · 06/12/2021 13:01

Yep, my brain fires like that.
It's the fear of getting engrossed into something else and missing The Thing.

On textbook MN threads about lateness, you'll get "if you can turn up on time for the GP/ plane..." yes I can turn up on time for Important Things, but it has quite a big cost in pulling it off that can't be applied to everything. Also being 10 minutes late for my friends doesn't spark the same kind of urgency/ fear. If it did, they wouldn't be my kind of friends anyway!

User310 · 06/12/2021 13:01

Oh my god. I am sitting on Mumsnet procrastinating, thinking ‘there’s no point in starting tidying now because I have to leave the house at 4! In my mind it is a 10 hour task so I need 10 full hours to do the whole house, it can’t be interrupted or I will lose my flow.

SW1amp · 06/12/2021 13:03

OMG this is DH, and my best friend!

Both definitely have several other ADHD traits, but this is them to a tee

The main source of arguments between me and DH is me 'cramming so much into a day' - ie let's go to the supermarket in the morning if we have people coming over for dinner in the evening

PumpkinCrumble · 06/12/2021 13:04

Yeah can defo relate. If the thing is a real life appointment I will probably be late for it as well, because unfortunately my brain thinks every journey takes 10 mins. Doesn’t matter if I’m walking or in the car, everything is 10mins away, except when I’m half an hour early so go to get a coffee, that then makes me late….Confused

Original poster
SparrowBird · 06/12/2021 13:06

@PumpkinCrumble

Yeah can defo relate. If the thing is a real life appointment I will probably be late for it as well, because unfortunately my brain thinks every journey takes 10 mins. Doesn’t matter if I’m walking or in the car, everything is 10mins away, except when I’m half an hour early so go to get a coffee, that then makes me late….Confused
Oh yes - the irony of all this is that despite the fact I have not actually be able to work before it, I can guarantee I will be late for the 2:30 meeting!
OP posts:
DressingPafe · 06/12/2021 13:17

There’s no point in starting tidying now because I have to leave the house at 4

This is me! All these tips on keeping a tidy house, such as never leave a room empty handed or just do 10 minutes tidying, just don’t work for me. I can’t do 5 minutes here and there. Either I do the full job or it waits until I have time to do the full job. At which point I do not want to be interrupted.

I struggled a lot when DC were young and I had so many commitments. Life is easier now they’re grown up and I just work part time. So I don’t schedule more than one thing a day at most.

BarbaraofSeville · 06/12/2021 13:50

I know what you mean OP and I think it could be lockdown/WFH that's made it worse. Last Friday I was distracted by this because I'd planned to go to Tesco and another place after work on Friday and my mind was too much on this to concentrate on anything else. Plus it was then tipped up by someone asking if they could come round to drop something off, which meant I couldn't go out until 7 when I'd planned to go out at about 6.

^If i need to get multiple "things" done in a day, then I have to plot out my day from start to finish. School runs, meetings, which part of my work, when I'm having a cup of tea, everything. If I don't, time between the things is a complete waste. If I don't schedule tea breaks, I won't have any, because I'll be focussed on getting the plan done, and totally forget to eat or drink. I also then end up on high alert for the whole day (possibly more due to anxiety disorders than ADHD, but they tend to gang up on me!) It's exhausting.

Same here. I have to write lists in steps otherwise my mind is too much on forgetting things to get on with everything, then if something new needs doing, I have to rewrite the list if I can't fit it on the page in the right place, because if the list looks untidy, I can't follow it.

I've never been diagnosed but I have so many symptoms, that I almost certainly have ADHD or similar. But of course, I'm such a procrastinator that I'll never get round to talking to my GP about it or seeking a diagnosis.

MistySkiesAfterRain · 06/12/2021 13:55

I need a three hour window between meetings to get anything done. Its really hard. Unless its a task that I know is time limited.

Purplepeopleeaterz · 06/12/2021 13:58

Oh that's me too, can't start anything else or even relax until its over. I also have very little empathy for people & have to pretend to care quite often in my role, practical advice I can do easily though. I don't know what's wrong with me? Also I often blurt out what's in my head although its can be seen as inappropriate (though never rude) I think perhaps I am just an unfeeling self centred arsehole.

Coldenoughforyou · 06/12/2021 14:00

I’m exactly the same. It works the other way round too. So I might wait till 2.30pm to do the thing then I can’t do anything after either because I’m too exhausted from being anxious about waiting for the thing to happen and everything has been on hold for the whole day.

Gearedtoyou · 06/12/2021 14:01

Oh. I do this. I've always thought it always procrastination, no one's ever suggested ADHD.

PutYourBackIntoit · 06/12/2021 14:02

I am so like this! ADHD assesment pending.

Me 'I'm nipping out to get bits for lunch'
Dh: 'could you also get bits for dinner, dog food, and bin bags'
Me: 'No, sorry, I'm getting bits for lunch'

He finds it funny, and I'm sure frustrating. I wish I was able to be more flexible.

Sparklingbrook · 06/12/2021 14:03

I often start shifts at 2pm. I find it really difficult to make any arrangements prior to that. I annoy myself over it.
My friend thinks nothing of going out at 9am, going somewhere after for coffee, a bit of a look around the shops then into work. I would love to be like that.