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Original poster

Adult ADHD “I can’t do that now - I’ve got that thing at 3!”

144 replies

SparrowBird · 06/12/2021 12:41

I’ve just watched a skit by Connor DeWolfe on Instagram, he’s a young man who has ADHD and posts really relatable content! It went:

  • Why haven’t you done anything today?
  • I’ve got a thing at 3pm. I can’t do anything until I’m finished with that thing.
  • Why can’t you do anything until you’re done with the thing?
  • Because I have the thing!!

It really made me smile because I’m exactly the same. I had a meeting first thing which finished at 11am. I have another meeting at 2:30 and I simply can’t do anything until that meeting! I can’t focus on another task or think about anything else, until the 2:30 meeting is done!

Anyone else?! Grin

OP posts:
Kippersfortea · 06/12/2021 17:15

Dyslexic with time

@Phlaps

🙌🏼

Dysclockula

StandardPoodle · 06/12/2021 17:16

I so relate to this. If I'm expecting a phone call, I can't relax, or do another task, until that is done. Ditto appointments - I make these for as early as possible so as not to sterilise the rest of the day. And I'm hideously early to appointments.

Charley50 · 06/12/2021 17:16

Do you still get this 'thing' if you take ADHD medication?

Kippersfortea · 06/12/2021 17:24

I always make all important appointments as early as possible in the day, always try to leave loads of extra time, and I am a compulsive clock watcher because I know the moment my eye leaves the clock it all goes to hell. I don't lose 5 minutes I lose 50. They just disappear. I could not tell you to where.

I'm not medicated now, but when I had meds as a teenager I found it helped me to focus better on each individual task but I still struggled to switch tasks. So if I was doing homework I could actually do the work, if I was tidying my room I would be able to finish the job, but if I was asked to clean my room half way through doing homework I would still forget to go back to the homework.

As an adult I have had a battle to be medicated (or even have my ADHD accepted despite childhood diagnosis) so just been handed mental health medication like smarties but no stimulant based ADHD meds. I am in the process of being referred back to services so that I can pursue this now. I don't think there is a good alternative for somebody like me who has implemented so many strategies and still struggles so much. I would like to see if the meds and the strategies together would make a difference.

Ariela · 06/12/2021 17:24

@SparrowBird

I’ve just watched a skit by Connor DeWolfe on Instagram, he’s a young man who has ADHD and posts really relatable content! It went:
  • Why haven’t you done anything today?
  • I’ve got a thing at 3pm. I can’t do anything until I’m finished with that thing.
  • Why can’t you do anything until you’re done with the thing?
  • Because I have the thing!!

It really made me smile because I’m exactly the same. I had a meeting first thing which finished at 11am. I have another meeting at 2:30 and I simply can’t do anything until that meeting! I can’t focus on another task or think about anything else, until the 2:30 meeting is done!

Anyone else?! Grin

isn't this fairly normal for most people?
MangoBiscuit · 06/12/2021 17:28

@Kippersfortea

Dyslexic with time

@Phlaps

🙌🏼

Dysclockula

Oh great, now I have the Count Duckula theme in my head! Grin
MangoBiscuit · 06/12/2021 17:31

🎵
It's a trait of ADHD
Time blindness means you can't see,
If it's been five mins or fifty 🎶
DYSCLOCKULA!

Rainartist · 06/12/2021 17:33

I'm like this but don't have ADHD!!

Kippersfortea · 06/12/2021 17:36

@MangoBiscuit

You're a genius! Love it

fantasmasgoria1 · 06/12/2021 17:37

I have bpd with other associated mental health issues (not adhd) and I'm like this too. I struggle in general to get motivated and have no energy but regardless if I have an appointment for example at 2pm I can't do anything at all that's productive because that appointment is happening. After that I can but not before. I find it quite strange! 😂

VallarMorghulis · 06/12/2021 17:40

@Purplepeopleeaterz

Oh that's me too, can't start anything else or even relax until its over. I also have very little empathy for people & have to pretend to care quite often in my role, practical advice I can do easily though. I don't know what's wrong with me? Also I often blurt out what's in my head although its can be seen as inappropriate (though never rude) I think perhaps I am just an unfeeling self centred arsehole.
I'm like this, I am autistic.
MangoBiscuit · 06/12/2021 17:40

My understanding is that on some level, everyone has ADHD traits. It's when you have enough of them, and to a degree that it starts to negatively impact your life, that it might be ADHD.

So like, everyone loses their keys sometimes. But with ADHD, trying to get out the house can go a bit like,
keys (yes)
wallet (yes)
phone.... dammit, right, keep hold of keys and wallet, hunt for phone, finally find it, try to leave
phone (yes)
keys (yes)
wallet.... wtf!, it was IN my HAND! right, put phone and keys in pockets, retrace steps, finally find wallet, head back to door, completely forget I've got my keys in my pocket, have small panic... etc etc

WouldBeGood · 06/12/2021 17:43

Oh my god, this is me!

Though I don’t have ADHD.

Though someone did suggest I might have recently!

Bohe · 06/12/2021 17:49

Waiting mode ruins my life. For me it's in the top 3 for worst ADHD symptoms.

JeffThePilot · 06/12/2021 17:50

Yes, I have ADHD and this is something I struggle with. I get round it at work by filling my Outlook calendar with tasks. So between my 1000 court hearing and my 1500 home visit, I have “write case notes for xxx case” “make phone call to Mrs B”, “make appointment to see C at school”, “complete case plan for D” etc.

If Outlook ever dies, so does my career.

dworky · 06/12/2021 17:52

This is me but I consider it anxiety rather than ADHD.

Negligee · 06/12/2021 17:53

I have a friend and former colleague who has an extreme version of this (though no suggestion he has ADHD that he's ever mentioned), but a single event that is not in his usual routine actually takes over his week. So he'll say, 'No, I can't do X on Tuesday because I've got X's parents' evening on Thursday night.'

JollyHostess · 06/12/2021 17:55

@PutYourBackIntoit

I am so like this! ADHD assesment pending.

Me 'I'm nipping out to get bits for lunch'
Dh: 'could you also get bits for dinner, dog food, and bin bags'
Me: 'No, sorry, I'm getting bits for lunch'

He finds it funny, and I'm sure frustrating. I wish I was able to be more flexible.

I so identify with this!! (ADHD diagnosis)

I used to think that I had to try and think of everything I could possibly need for the next five years and would immediately become completely overwhelmed and unable to get things for lunch. And in a big supermarket? Forget it!

As I get older and possibly lazier I know better. If it's things for lunch then it's things for lunch and that's that 😂

Purplepeopleeaterz · 06/12/2021 18:02

@VallarMorghulis I have over the years wondered about autism but always come back to the same thing that it’s just who I am & I was born without a sensitivity chip. I have just read the NHS signs of autism in adults and resonate with 11 out of the 13, just not sure it’s worth talking to my GP as I’m generally rubbing along quite well barring the social anxiety.

WeRTheOnesWeHaveBeenWaitingFor · 06/12/2021 18:05

I don’t know why there are so many people just coming in to minimise. ADHD mainly manifests as behaviours that are in the NT population but for us the frequency, intensity and/or duration is not typical. The impact on our lives is not typical. It’s like saying ‘well everyone gets tired’ to someone with ME.

Original poster
SparrowBird · 06/12/2021 18:08

Arrived at the meeting at 2:46, only 16 mins late. Blush

After the meeting, went to the supermarket for some food.

Got to the till.

Had left my wallet at home Hmm

Gah!

OP posts:
Kippersfortea · 06/12/2021 18:09

Oh no @SparrowBird hate when that happens!

Original poster
SparrowBird · 06/12/2021 18:12

@Happy1982ish

Genuine Not being inflammatory

But isn’t what you’ve described just someone either not very committed to their job and / or a procrastinator and / or poor time management?

No, not at all. I am hugely committed to my job, love it, and recently got a promotion.
OP posts:
Bohe · 06/12/2021 18:14

Does anyone else do this?!

Sometimes when I have a Very Important Task to complete instead of just getting on with the VIT I will do a hundred other Unimportant Tasks instead.

Today I was supposed to clean my living room before 5pm. Instead of just doing it, I have repotted my largest houseplants, made a full roast dinner, and done several loads of laundry.

Othertimes I get stuck in a loop and nothing gets done. Like I need to clean living room and I WANT to do it but I just can't. So I do nothing at all and then make myself sick with shame and guilt. Doesn't make sense because I know I'm capable but I just can't do The Task sometimes.

WouldBeGood · 06/12/2021 18:15

I’m really interested to hear these things are ADHD traits.

They sound like the stuff I do that drives DP nuts. I hate making appointments because then this stuff about the time happens! And the keys/wallet stuff