Bomb squad called after man had explosive shell stuck in rectum

[Soubriquet]

Without looking at the article, I knew immediately the excuse would be “tripped and fell”

Amazing how many people seem to trip and fall whilst naked and get things stuck up their arse

link

I think he should sue. Explosives really should come with a warning, do not shove up arsehole. Bomb, bum, it's a mistake anyone could make.

I successfully sued Nivea and was awarded £4.62 compensation for my "sudden moment of discomfited surprise" (legal speak) after I bought some deodorant and followed the thoroughly irresponsible instructions on the side to 'twist and push up bottom'.

Labels with arse insertion info would need to be on surely 1000s of things. Including at least one life species of live animal.

What about purchases that don't have labels on them? Pity the poor pet shop owner having to give you the standard spiel:

"Yes, make sure you get as big a cage as you can, plenty of fun tunnels to hide in. A wheel and a separate ball are a must - as hamsters love their exercise. Nice warm, comfy bedding and this stuff here is the best food for them - they love it and it provides all the essential nutrients they need. Oh, and, um, er, one more thing: just so you know, you absolutely must not under any circumstances shove him up your, erm...."

he did a bomb squat

So the taxpayer has paid for a whole bomb squad deployment, not to mention police and ambulance because this man is a pervert?

I mean ffs there are a very wide range of sex toys designed for sticking up your arse.

I know our services are free but at certain times I do think it's justified issuing some fucking idiot a bill!

@Animood

So the taxpayer has paid for a whole bomb squad deployment, not to mention police and ambulance because this man is a pervert?

I mean ffs there are a very wide range of sex toys designed for sticking up your arse.

I know our services are free but at certain times I do think it's justified issuing some fucking idiot a bill!

I agree.

@StrychnineInTheSandwiches

Gives a whole new meaning to the word 'arsenal'.

If it doesn't have a flared base don't put it up your bumhole!

Arsenal... 🤣🤣🤣

What a fucking twat that bloke is

And it's ALWAYS a bloke

I've never read a story about a woman getting anything stuck anywhere (apart from
a mooncup someone needed help removing)

@LaurieFairyCake

What a fucking twat that bloke is

And it's ALWAYS a bloke

I've never read a story about a woman getting anything stuck anywhere (apart from
a mooncup someone needed help removing)

Well, not exactly.

Sometimes men stick objects up women's bums.

Ani mood: "a whole bomb squad deployment, not to mention police and ambulance."

Yes, they brought out the big guns.

When my Dr sister was a junior in A and E - apparently the most common object that people 'slipped and fell on' was Buzz Lightyear (90s)

I suppose it was a bit of light relief for the bum bomb squad.

‘C’mon team. This is what we have trained for! It’s a code brown! Fire in the hole, Operation Jacksy, etc etc etc

@catinboots123

When my Dr sister was a junior in A and E - apparently the most common object that people 'slipped and fell on' was Buzz Lightyear (90s)

The other toys must have felt left out.

Now that’s a sequel I just don’t want to see...

Redditt has lots of threads on this; men naked gardening then falling on various vegetables; Barbie dolls; the well-known light bulbs etc. truly mind boggling

@KittenKong

Now that’s a sequel I just don’t want to see...

Toy Sodomy 4!

A friend who’s an a&e dr said he saw a lot of women who would use cans of hairspray or deodorant,etc up the vagina but insert them lid first and then lose the lid. Which he said was tricky to pull out.

Yikes.

@GeidiPrimes

I remember this happening in the 90s too. They had to build a kind of tiny bomb shelter around his bum region, to contain the blast if it went off while they were working on it.

They never learn do they. Tripped and fell

"A tiny bomb shelter around his bum" has left me crying with laughter here

The bottom is nature's lobster pot, easily in....not easily out.

One of my friends used to work in A&E. She'd just come on shift when one of the other nurses said earlier that day they'd had a man in who'd stuck two peas up his urethra. Shocked, my friend exclaimed "two peas? Why would you stick peas in there??"

It turned out it was 2p, as in a two pence coin, in his urethra

@catinboots123

When my Dr sister was a junior in A and E - apparently the most common object that people 'slipped and fell on' was Buzz Lightyear (90s)

Why…

And it's ALWAYS a bloke

I've never read a story about a woman getting anything stuck anywhere (apart from a mooncup someone needed help removing)

No, I'm assured that there are women too - as in perv-related escapades rather than genuine problems with items that legitimately go up there. It's mostly men, but by no means exclusively.

When my Dr sister was a junior in A and E - apparently the most common object that people 'slipped and fell on' was Buzz Lightyear (90s)

"To indignity and beyond!!"

@catinboots123

When my Dr sister was a junior in A and E - apparently the most common object that people 'slipped and fell on' was Buzz Lightyear (90s)

I wonder if they had a Woody?

There was a woman recently who shot herself while wanking to a loaded gun wasn’t there? Nowt as queer as folk

www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-9996959/amp/Boy-15-gets-USB-cable-stuck-penis-sexual-experiment-gone-wrong.html

Also the 15 year old who was measuring himself with a usb wire.