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Original poster

Bomb squad called after man had explosive shell stuck in rectum

178 replies

Soubriquet · 04/12/2021 14:36

Without looking at the article, I knew immediately the excuse would be “tripped and fell”

Amazing how many people seem to trip and fall whilst naked and get things stuck up their arse Grin

link

OP posts:
CovidCorvid · 04/12/2021 19:58

Years ago there was someone locally who “fell off the toilet” onto a toilet brush handle. This was all in the papers because bizarrely when she went to a&e they couldn’t find it and thought she was just drunk. She repeatedly over the next few months went to various drs complaining about pain and telling people she had a toilet brush handle up her bum. Sadly it took something like 2 years for someone to order an mri (a previously X-ray had missed it) and then she had surgery to remove it and died on the operating table.

flashpaper · 04/12/2021 20:07

@Northernlurker

It's not always easy to get it out either. Even without the explosive complication here. Theatres, endoscopy, they all get in on the act. I know of one case where three ED staff in progressive order of seniority had a go then three surgical doctors also ditto and they STILL had to go to Theatre. I mean, guys, seriously just go for a nice walk in the countryside instead. The bottom is nature's lobster pot, easily in....not easily out.
They often come to theatre after a&e when the deodorant can has come out but the cap came off upon removal...
Original poster
Soubriquet · 04/12/2021 20:12

@CovidCorvid

Years ago there was someone locally who “fell off the toilet” onto a toilet brush handle. This was all in the papers because bizarrely when she went to a&e they couldn’t find it and thought she was just drunk. She repeatedly over the next few months went to various drs complaining about pain and telling people she had a toilet brush handle up her bum. Sadly it took something like 2 years for someone to order an mri (a previously X-ray had missed it) and then she had surgery to remove it and died on the operating table.
How was she able to go to the toilet if she had a handle up there?

Surely she would have been severely constipated

OP posts:
CovidCorvid · 04/12/2021 20:15

I think it pierced through the skin internally so kind of went up and sideways…..www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1279593/Toilet-brush-handle-lodged-buttocks-young-mother-spotted-doctors.html

So sad that she was listened to or believed for so long. Tragic.

Original poster
Soubriquet · 04/12/2021 20:18

Goodness me. That has to be one of the most random deaths I’ve read about. Pity the poor woman wasn’t listened to though

OP posts:
grannyjacob · 04/12/2021 20:21

Some of the comments on Twitter about this are brilliant, well worth a read.

groundcontroltomontydon · 04/12/2021 20:24

My medical friend told me of a patient with a tetrapak carton of vegetable soup up there
Did he misinterpret the serving suggestion?
Just listened to David Sedaris (Themes and Variations) about book signings and stories he hears from fans he talks about this very topic

MrsTimRiggins · 04/12/2021 20:26

@Sienna2000

An acquaintance of mine worked in a hospital. He said that they were helping a man with a wedding ring stuck on his penis.
A friend of mine has told the same story @Sienna2000 let’s hope the same hospital rather than more than one man being this stupid!!
TheNestedIf · 04/12/2021 20:29

We were talking about this in our team meeting on Friday. One of my colleagues recounted a tale of how someone he knew had seen an x-ray of someone with a mobile phone stuck up there.

To our glee, another more innocent colleague (male), who really is old enough to know better, sweetly asked "Why would anyone stick a mobile phone up there?".

And on that bumshell...

Original poster
Soubriquet · 04/12/2021 20:40

Please share the Twitter link! I have Twitter but I’m very illiterate with it

OP posts:
thickthighs73 · 04/12/2021 20:47

@Soubriquet

Please share the Twitter link! I have Twitter but I’m very illiterate with it
Have a look on the Daily Mail thread on Twitter some funny posts.
WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 04/12/2021 21:59

Did he misinterpret the serving suggestion?

Perving suggestion Grin

To our glee, another more innocent colleague (male), who really is old enough to know better, sweetly asked "Why would anyone stick a mobile phone up there?".

My guess is that he was at the theatre and he refused to switch it off when it was constantly ringing!

Reminds me of an old Jasper Carrott joke about when he took part in the London Marathon, which was sponsored by Flora. He'd already spoken about one 'novelty' runner who did the entire course whilst (badly) playing a trombone all the way.

He finished by saying nonchalantly: "At the end, we were all given a free promotional tub of Flora by the sponsor.... although several people gave theirs to the musician chap - to help him try to get the trombone back out." Grin

Hawkins001 · 04/12/2021 23:04

I'll admit once, I tried a medium sized butt plug think around 6cm diameter, but after a short while, the bottom pulled the plug into my bum, thank goodness I got straight on the toilet and was relieved when I heard the splash, that was a panic and holy smokes moment for me.

NotMyCat · 04/12/2021 23:18

@Tempusfudgeit

I was an EMD. Yes, I had the call which started 'I was sitting on a kitchen stool naked when I fell off and landed on the hoover nozzle...'
Toilet brush I had
CheeseMmmm · 04/12/2021 23:25

@KittenCatcher

No one believes the tripped a fell story anymore but its pretty grim reporting this, he was a patient and its not really to be laughed at.
That's a really nice post you're right I'm sure he would really rather not have this reported and yes laughed at. If different situation I might agree.

Thing is he's caused an incident involving an explosive in a hosp, I mean that's not trivial.
And used a stack of time, resource etc from more than one public service.

-Went to hosp with explosive on person
-When told HCPs what was, must have been oh fuck moment

  • they need to do something. But what? Highly unusual. Evacuate everyone from area? Report incident top priority to managers? Stay with him? Not stay with him?
  • Specialists IE bomb squad called. How did they work out what exact munition was, whether live or not?!
  • Can't do controlled explosion! How would this even be approached? To get it out without injuring the man and without it exploding?

I mean in reality he caused massive upheaval, presumably some staff terrified, guessing some had to (volunteer?) to take it out with risk BANG and bomb squad there and ready?

I mean when you look at it like that...

Having it in press, he not identifiable. Everyone laughing. I mean.
I hope he got a massive telling off from hosp and bomb squad people. He must have.

He stuck an explosive up his arse cos well I mean why not?
It stuck.
He thought I'll go hosp! This stuff is what they're there for!

What a total plonker.

CheeseMmmm · 04/12/2021 23:47

Anyway.

As loads of PPs have said.

What is it with men and shoving all sorts of stuff up their arses?

Actually wrong question.

What is it with men shoving all sorts of stuff up their arses without any due care and attention?

I mean the fact that things put up bum tend to be swallowed up, and so here's the do's and don'ts are all over the internet. I mean I don't go looking but I've still stumbled across this info!

So if I were a man. And I thought, I'm really in the mood to shove something weird up my arse.

I would like to think I would pause and think... Hmm. I have seen things in the news about men shoving weird stuff up their arses and having to go hosp to get it out. Or even just... I'll have a quick Google check if anything i should know. Before i SHOVE EXPLOSIVES INTO MY RECTUM.

These men seem to be so swept up in the moment with their lube, weird object and pants down that loads of them just forge ahead without a care.

MultiStorey · 05/12/2021 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

groundcontroltomontydon · 05/12/2021 00:08

"Why would anyone stick a mobile phone up there?"
To get a better signal?

KloppsTeeth · 05/12/2021 02:06

If the bomb had exploded, would it have been on Horrible Histories “stupid deaths”?

CheeseMmmm · 05/12/2021 02:45

If it had exploded in a hospital I think stupid deaths would be an extremely generous take!

CheeseMmmm · 05/12/2021 02:54

Given that 'man gets weird thing stuck up arse' reports stories etc have been cropping up for as long as I can remember (few decades).

And given that only a few man + arse + hosp situations likely get heard about.

I really think a general public information thing would be useful.

To inform the nation's chaps the do's and don'ts when the overwhelming urge strikes to shove random shit up your arse.

Maybe a reminder that explosives are not a good choice for this activity.

BarbaraofSeville · 05/12/2021 06:15

@groundcontroltomontydon

"Why would anyone stick a mobile phone up there?" To get a better signal?
Joking aside, it's how people smuggle them into prison, so people aren't only doing it for the thrills.

On this occasion, it could have been that was why it was up there and it wouldn't come out.

Prisoners having access to mobile phones, plus a long list of other contraband, is a massive security risk so there's a lot of work that goes into trying to prevent this. But a lot of people do try, maybe they think 'they'll never look up there', but newsflash, they do.

TheFreaksShallInheritTheEarth · 05/12/2021 08:47

@PyongyangKipperbang

Talk about a Weapon of Ass Destruction!
Just as well it didn't go off... it'd have been shitskrieg!
ineedsun · 05/12/2021 09:02

@Funnylittlefloozie

This STILL isn't the time or the place for my 'suicide bummer' joke, is it?

Thought not....

You win the thread 😂😂
IcedWinterPenguin · 05/12/2021 09:24

My mother was an A&E nurse. She came home one day and told us about a chap who had a tomato sauce bottle wedged up his bum.

Apparently he explained he had locked himself out of the house and could only get in by the kitchen window. He was them manouvering himself and fell, and the bottle got wedged up his arse.

As Dmum said - he did not explian why he was naked at the time- or why the tomato sauce bottle was wearing a condom.