Oh My GOD I’m so embarrassed!! Please tell me you’ve done something similar 😭

[Visitors]

Went to visit DH’s aunt and uncle earlier, we only see them once or twice a year. Lovely people but a little dry and very slightly eccentric.
We arrived, they opened the door, we were probably slightly too ebullient with the ‘hello’s’ and ‘lovely to see you’s’ and I went ahead to uncle and said

‘Ah and look at you with glittery jumper on!!’

They both looked at me really oddly and as soon as I said it I could see that actually the ‘glitter’ was an awful lot of dandruff on his dark jumper.

How I didn’t vomit with shame, I literally stopped breathing. Nothing was said but I genuinely felt weak as I followed them into the lounge.

I then spent the next hour with burning cheeks and desperately trying not to look at the dandruff on his jumper.

Please tell me you’ve done worse…I feel I’ll just thinking about it now 😥😢

My grandma ince met Jimmy Hill in a plane. She was trying to reach over him to put her bags in the overhead lockers and she said 'excuse me, I wouldn't want to drop my bag on your chin' meaning to say head. She was mortified.

@MrsMadderRose

There was a thread like this once and someone had a boss/colleague or similar and had asked why the boss had a photo of william shatner on his desk. It was his wife!

Still makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Can’t stop laughing at this

Thanks for a great post and thread OP, i’ve been laughing for about an hour!

a colleague went to a Halloween party years ago....she touched a man's face and said what amazing make up he had.

Turns out he had been scarred by a bad burn.

@MrsMadderRose

There was a thread like this once and someone had a boss/colleague or similar and had asked why the boss had a photo of william shatner on his desk. It was his wife!

Still makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Ahahaha I am crying at this!

Similar to the Shatner one, a lady at work was training me and she had a photo of what looked like a middle aged lady’s glamour shot on her desk. You know the ones, shedload of make up, overly curled hair etc.

I was like ‘aww is that your mum? She’s so glam!’

Nope, it was her 9 year old daughter. Apparently she’s heavily into those tacky dance competition things and the photo was taken before some tournament. She did not have a sense of humour about it.

Mine is very cringey rather than funny. In my first week of university, I went to a mixer for students on my course. Two black girls (I’m white) came over to introduce themselves to me together, and as they’d come over together I asked if they had known each other before uni. They said no and were visibly annoyed, and after that one of them didn’t have anything to do with me for the rest of the course any the other I didn’t really get to know until the final year. I realised right away that they had thought I meant they must know each other because they’re both black, but actually it was more to do with the fact that I’m so socially awkward that it hadn’t occurred to me that two people could be so friendly and chatty having just met. I realise that I really didn’t come across well that day though.

Done worse. Can barely type this am still so mortified (was about 20 years ago and I've never told anyone).

At work, sneaked into the staff kitchen to grab a bit of chocolate, started choking on the chocolate. Tried to cough it up, got worse. Ran into work area still choking and the two hottest guys in the office ran over, one said 'oh god, she's choking, do the heimlich manoeuvre', the other one bent me over and pressed on my podgy belly, he didn't do it properly but the act of bending over meant piece of chocolate somehow fell out of my throat and onto the floor. Everyone stared at it (by now there was a crowd). Everyone was very relieved. I was mortified. Had to change jobs.

We recently had an Sixth Form open evening at school for potential students. They come from lots of different schools. One woman came in with a boy, they were asking questions and I assumed the woman was his mum, and I indicated this in my replies. Turns out she was his classmate. She looked about 40. I just know she'll be in my group next year.

@Ftl6

Mine is very cringey rather than funny. In my first week of university, I went to a mixer for students on my course. Two black girls (I’m white) came over to introduce themselves to me together, and as they’d come over together I asked if they had known each other before uni. They said no and were visibly annoyed, and after that one of them didn’t have anything to do with me for the rest of the course any the other I didn’t really get to know until the final year. I realised right away that they had thought I meant they must know each other because they’re both black, but actually it was more to do with the fact that I’m so socially awkward that it hadn’t occurred to me that two people could be so friendly and chatty having just met. I realise that I really didn’t come across well that day though.

Similar to this, I went on a hen for a close friend a few years ago where the bride and majority of girls were mixed race/black. There were 3 white people there and I was one of them, along with a friend of the bride's mum and a work colleague of the bride.

The work colleague took a real shine to me and stuck to me like glue for most of the trip, to the point where I was wondering why she kept following me about. It's only recently when I've looked back that I've thought about how cringe that must have looked, the 2 white girls sticking together the whole time. It wasn't the case at all from my POV, but defo would have looked that way.

Worst I saw and stayed with me, was I was about 17 and my best friends grand mother died, they were hugely close and she was devastated.

I went with her to see the guidance teacher as she needed to say she’d be off. When we walked in to the class, he looked at us and said to her “what’s wrong with you, someone die” and laughed.

She just burst into tears and I said, yes her granny, it was awful.

Did a very long teacher training placement in my final year. A child in another class was violently sick one afternoon. I was making conversation with the teacher concerned in the staffroom at afternoon break. Oh did you see them throw up she said. No I said and then for some terrible awful dreadful reason I will never understand I said ......I can smell it on you. The entire staff room stopped dead. Oh god oh god oh god . I had forgotten about it for 30 years until this thread. Made me cringe all over again

@dontletthemugglesgetyoudownn

We t for a smear test, as the speculum went in and opened I sold something on eBay and my phone went kaching like a till opening. The dr pissed herself laughing so did I and the fucking thing shot out and hit the floor 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

You've posted this before yet it STILL made me spit my tea out laughing 🤣

one time when i was in school one of the boy who had long should length hair came in late and his hair looked soaking wet so i shouted out "omg nooo its raining!!" a number of people started laughing and he look uncomfortable. i couldn't figure out what was so funny, then my friend said that was really mean of you to say. still confused i replied "his hair was wet so i thought it was raining" then she replied "no, his hair is not wet its greasy". i was very embarrassed but also felt really bad.

When I was at college, I used to work in a shop on Sundays, so didn't often see the weekday staff unless I was working extra during the holidays.

I saw one of the weekday ladies when I was doing some overtime, had a chat with her and told her her hair looked fab, because it did. I had forgotten that she was actually having chemo.

During this conversation, our manager was listening and started wildly gesticulating behind her and mouthing 'it's a wig, it's a wig', to the point where he was distracting me, making it really obvious he was doing something behind her and I ended up repeating myself and going on about her hair even more while I tried to process what he was doing and cover it up.

I was so annoyed with him, he made it so awkward and probably made it seem to her like I was bringing up her hair on purpose because I knew it was a wig, when actually it really did genuinely look like her own hair. I thought she'd just had a trim/colour.

William Shatner and Hello Teeth! have made me titter out loud...

@Camii

New mum friend met us at the park with kids and very glamorous mother who was visiting. Glam granny said to my 3 year old: you look very cute! To which he replied: you look very old I honestly looked down at the grass hoping it would swallow me up.

I do love the honesty of young children though.

I was supporting a family a few years back, 6yo child (C) was getting to know her dad (D) who hadn’t been in her life before then (long story), dad had a baby with his new partner. We had got to the point she had met new baby for the first time, all went well, we were headed back to the car and saying goodbyes. Let’s say for the purposes of the story my name is Jane Smith.

C: (looking at baby) He is very cute!
D: Yes, yes he is. And you are cute as well.
C: Yes I am! He’s cute, I’m cute, and you are cute. Do you know who isn’t cute?
D: No… (I knew this child, I knew exactly what was coming)
C: (delighted tone) Jane Smith!

The dad didn’t know what to say, because anything would’ve sounded wrong. I was laughing.

@dontletthemugglesgetyoudownn

We t for a smear test, as the speculum went in and opened I sold something on eBay and my phone went kaching like a till opening. The dr pissed herself laughing so did I and the fucking thing shot out and hit the floor 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I'm done, this is fucking gold

Welcome to my world op. This has happened to me on numerous occasions! The worst ones are:

1. Twice (separate occasions) I have had acquaintances who were due to give birth any day. On both occasions, I have seen them a couple of weeks later looking heavily pregnant, one dropping their eldest at nursery, the other at a party. On both occasions I said “Oh wow! Have you still not had your baby yet?” On both occasions they pointed to a pram with their newborn in on the other side of the room. Mortified doesn’t come close. Karma got me back when I had the same done to me on my first trip to the hairdresser after dc3 was born and she asked when I was due!

1. A client at work mentioned he had recently lost 2 stone. I said “Well done! I wish I could lose some weight!” He then said it was because he had terminal cancer. Thankfully he was very nice but I felt awful.

1. On holiday my dh and I were chatting to the Greek barman. He had a black eye. Dh jokingly said “have you been fighting?!” Barman said no it’s a birthmark! Tumbleweed moment.

1. Dd aged about 3-4 was chatting to a nice lady who was being lovely to her and asking her about herself. Dd said “your teeth are black, have you been eating lots of sweets?!” Mortified!

1. One of the most embarrassing ones was I went to the gp to ask about something personal. He said he could examine me there instead of rebooking and do a smear. He got a chaperone and did it. The next week we were at a play barn party with dd and the gp was the dad of the birthday girl. I had no idea it was him as the birthday dc was a nursery acquaintance. It was so embarrassing being introduced.

1. Lastly (and probably the worst). We were at a friend’s 30th birthday party, and his sister and her husband were expecting their first child. Our friend told us they’d just found out it was a girl! I was merrily chatting to the friend’s mum and dad about the upcoming arrival and asked if they were excited about their first grandchild being a girl? Big silence across the room..... Apparently the sex was being kept a secret and only our friend and the parents-to-be knew! It was awful and I still cringe about it now!

Basically I shouldn’t be let out anywhere after reading all these!

When I was about nine or ten, I'd picked the house phone up and it was one of the doctors my mum worked for as a practice manager, the lead partner, asking to speak to her. He was called Charles, which I knew, so for some reason I decided to shout to my mum "it's big ears from the palace for you".

I don't know if he had particularly sticky-out ears but I truly hope not. Over twenty years later, when both him and my mum are no longer with us, the thought of it still makes me cringe.

Wasn't me that did it, someone did it to me.
So just before Christmas in 2009, my DH collapsed and died at home. By the time they finish trying to resuscitate him and they've had the paddles on him and all the things in the hospital, it's late, it's dark, I've come out with no money in my purse, all the things. I have to walk from the hospital to the nearest cashpoint for bus fare home which happens to be outside a Working Men's Club.
10 o'clock on a Sunday night three days before Christmas, well you can imagine what kind of leery old drunk is going to be falling out of there. I'm sat there smoking (I bloody well deserved it, too) blood all down the front of my jumper, and Uncle Filthy here starts hitting on me. Not unreasonably I blank the horrible old sod but he's not taking a hint and yep, you guessed it, I get the whole "come on darlin give us a smile, eh, nobody's died?"

So I told him. In more graphic detail than he actually wanted. It was quite fun, watching him squirm. Hopefully he learned a lesson from it....

At the supermarket the cashier had really bad acne. My 6yo DS piped up “Have you got chickenpox?”

I had one where I'd just started at a new job and was trying to make a good impression.
The girl sat on the desk next to me was telling a story but the room was quite loud. She said she cared for her disabled hamster around the clock, around her paid work. I said something like, 'Aren't you kind, not many people would give so much time to them.'
It turned out that she had said SISTER not hamster and it wasn't until a few days later when I re-told the story to someone else that I found out that it was he sister and that was why she was staring at me like that when I replied.
I think about saying that hideous comment and what the others who overheard me must have been thinking about me, at least once a week - and I want to curl up in a hole.

I once asked the postman who was very jolly if he was drunk, and he had driven there!
When I was a teenager I said to a girl in the toilets "oh you poor thing what have you done to your face" it was a birth mark!
A woman who was quite chubby knitting baby clothes "when is the baby due?" she was not pregnant and knitting for someone else.
A man on crutches struggling to open the toilet door in the pub, I said "shall I hold it for you?" I meant the door.

Many years ago we were organising a post Christmas meal out and I asked a colleague if Steve, her husband, was joining us. Massive silence, they were divorced and, as I later found out, she was shacked up with her solicitor who had handled the divorce! At least I could never be accused of listening to staffroom gossip.