Oh My GOD I’m so embarrassed!! Please tell me you’ve done something similar 😭

[Visitors]

Went to visit DH’s aunt and uncle earlier, we only see them once or twice a year. Lovely people but a little dry and very slightly eccentric.
We arrived, they opened the door, we were probably slightly too ebullient with the ‘hello’s’ and ‘lovely to see you’s’ and I went ahead to uncle and said

‘Ah and look at you with glittery jumper on!!’

They both looked at me really oddly and as soon as I said it I could see that actually the ‘glitter’ was an awful lot of dandruff on his dark jumper.

How I didn’t vomit with shame, I literally stopped breathing. Nothing was said but I genuinely felt weak as I followed them into the lounge.

I then spent the next hour with burning cheeks and desperately trying not to look at the dandruff on his jumper.

Please tell me you’ve done worse…I feel I’ll just thinking about it now 😥😢

There is a genuinely lovely lady who sometimes is on the school run and if I bump into her on the way or way back then I'm stuck with her and while she is lovely you've got to really be in the mood for her. A few months back I saw her and I just could not face the whole way back home with her so at the first opportunity to turn off the main road I said my goodbyes that I was off into the office today. I then took a sort of back route slightly longer walk back but it does at the very end meet back with the main road we were initially on. I didn't give if a second thought as I emerged back on to the main road and then there she was coming up behind me. Neither of us acknowledged the situation as it was too excruciating. I still die a bit when I see her 🙈

I've done this to a customer once who was looking for something to wear to France. I'd just, beforehand, been told off by my manager for not building good customer rapport. So went over to this customer to ask if I could help, she said I'm looking for something smart but fun as I'm off to France, I then said, god, it must be nice to be able to holiday, especially in the current climate, and she said "no not really, my dad has died so it's not NICE at all".

I can honestly say I've never been so humiliated in my entire life..

After the customer left I told my boss that she can shove it where the sun doesnt shine if she thinks I'm approaching customers in a chatty manner again 🤣😂

@Invisimamma

My colleague was looking at another colleagues wedding photo on her desk and said 'oh how lovely, your dad looks really sweet in that photo'... It wasn't her dad, it was the groom.

I had that, only the caterer at my wedding party asked if I was the mother of the bride. LOLLLLL

At work, I asked a man with only one arm if he was right handed or left handed 😳 I immediately apologised because I couldn’t believe I’d said it but he thankfully saw the funny side because he had been right handed but now had to use his left hand and we had a chat about hard it was to adapt to that. But still, even now, I am mortified!

I used to be a support worker in the hospital, I had a lovely patient with spina bifida, he is mastered transferring from his wheelchair to bed with no assistance, but it was hard work for him so he got quite breathless.

I said to him “I bet you feel like you’ve run a marathon!”

“If I knew what running was like I would agree with you” was his response, laughing.

I almost died.

ok try this. We used to have swimming classes in a local pool at school. I once said to one friend, "Wow, if I hadn't known you'd just been to the pool, I would have said your hair was really greasy!" Yup, still cringe inwardly at that some 50 years later!

@santaischeckinglists
I'm sure she saw the funny side, I'm an amputee and would have howled with laughter at the comment and your embarrassment 😂😂

Dw OP i recently embarrassed myself in front of many people at a charity gala. I was showing on the dance floor, fell over and ended up tearing the ligaments in my knee and breaking my ankle had to crawl off the dance floor and go to A&E

At a summer party for kids and parents of DD’s old primary school, a mum mentioned she knew of a child who would be attending DD’s new secondary. Child was notable for having lost an eye. I unthinkingly assured her that I would “keep an eye out for her”. Uuurggghhh, the shame still burns when I think of it!

I overheard a colleague handing over her work and discussing when she would be back. I said “wow I’m so jealous of you having 3 weeks off over Xmas, lucky you”

She and her colleague gave me the strangest look.

Turns out she had cancer and was Having surgery and starting treatment.

As soon as I found out I immediately apologised. What an idiot!

@HangingOver

Ex-DPs friend once came over and his face looked so terrible I instinctively said, "Oh god, what happened to your face?!". Nothing had happened, he'd just shaved his beard off.

I'm actually crying with laughter reading these. Teaches us to be charitable to others who do them

I used to work in a shop and we had a delivery of 3XL mens clothing come in. I told my friend whose husband is big. She replied he needed bigger than that and I said “oh yes he’s massive isnt he!” OMG I will never forget.

I am socially awkward, my mouth tries to hide this by making seemingly flippant remarks. On seeing a photo of a friend with his girlfriend kneeling by him, I said to them both "Oh, I bet you said 'While you're down there...!"?" No, apparently that wouldn't have been appropriate as she was scattering her dad's ashes!
I also greeted by dad with "Oh you've got wood!" when he opened the front door (they'd had the flooring changed from carpet) - then spent the day trying not to catch my DH's eye.
I do try to think before I speak but stuff just blurts out

In a cafe with my 6 year old son, who's hair was just beginning to grow back after treatment for lymphoma. Sweet old lady walks past and says she likes his super short hairstyle, suits him. He pipes up "I've just finished chemo".... the poor lady's face. I couldn't even think of anything to say to console her - and she walked away.

PS - This was 10 years ago, and he's fit as a fiddle now, (with long hair in a man-bun!)

16, first job interview, looking at the pictures on the interviewers desk I thought I would come across as really likeable and friendly if I asked about them.
'Oh those pictures are lovely, wow, is that your dad?'
It was his wife.
Seriously....I felt the heat in my chest, but I got the job! lol

Don't worry, my dad used to work with a man who wore a toupee to make it look more authentic he used to sprinkle talk on his jacket. It could have been worse you could have said he was trying to distract attention from his toupee.

Looking for a wedding venue about 17 years ago and the guy says well I better speak to your dad as he’ll be the one who’s paying. I said oh he’s not my dad, he’s my fiancé. He didn’t know what to say, we were like don’t worry it happens all the time. 🤣

Lastly, really upset my husband once when he shaved his beard off, he walked in and I literally jumped and shouted 'Fu** me no!'
He's got such a baby face on a 6'6 frame and he looked so wierd without his face fuzz! He grew it back pretty quick and he's only just forgiven me! lol

Maybe you did him a favour! He might not have realised how bad the dandruff was. I wouldn't lose sleep over it; likely his wife's been nagging him about it for ages and you've just given him a wake up call!

I once meant to ask a very quiet and shy girl I worked with if she had any tissues and it came out as ‘Cathy, do you have any friends’. In a busy office. I could have died. I genuinely didn’t mean to say it, I wasn’t even thinking it! That was 20 years ago and I still don’t know to this day, what in the name of Greek buggery made me say that!!

I once said to a girl about an ugly man in the pub. It turned out it was her boyfriend. We didn’t stay friends long. Lol.

@StealthRoast

Oh these are great. I have ADHD and sometimes ( often ) don’t think before I speak so empathise. Here’s mine- I’ve told this one on here before I think-

It was just after Christmas, before New Year’s Eve in 1996/7 so I was 18/19 and was in the queue for customer services at M & S, it was heaving and some people were chatting to those around them.
One lady started talking to me, looked at my stomach and asked when I was due. I still to this day don’t know why I said I what I did which was “November” 11 months away.
We didn’t speak after that and I hate going in that queue now.

Second one-I got a taxi home from somewhere a few years ago, it was daytime and I was definitely not drunk. I paid and as I got out instead of saying Thank you to the driver I said “I love you”

I’m such a tit.

That "November" answer is quite a cool put down in retrospect, so many older people just start chatting to young girls about their pregnancies as though they were entitled to butt in. I know you weren't pregnant, but it was good to come back on her and dumbfound her in that way.

Many years ago I used to work at a company with a lovely guy, his wife worked for the same company. One day she came to our branch and I was chatting to him when I suddenly blurted out “oh is “wife’s name” pregnant- oh of course she’s pregnant when is she due”? To which he replied “oh she’s not pregnant just a chunky monkey”.

I could have died luckily he was very nice about it..

Before anyone starts going batshit at me I was 17 and social etiquette of asking people if they are pregnant has not clicked in my brain…

@ToooSensitive

I was 18 and meeting my boyfriend’s Family for the first time. His Aunt learned in to kiss me hello on me on the cheek, so I leaned in too and we kissed on the lips.

Awful.

I did this with my sister in law who I'd only met once before. Just went all wrong at the last second. I could have died, luckily we were leaving hence the kiss

I took my very submissive dog to the vets, in the waiting room he rolled over as soon as a big Bulldog came in. The Bulldog had a good sniff at him, my dog was ok until the Bulldog licked his cockle then he jumped up and had a right go at the Bulldog. Then he laid down again, opened his legs and the same thing happened again. I looked at the Bulldog's owner, shook my head and said "Sorry. Honestly you can't lay there with your legs open and then complain when someone licks your......" I then realised just what I was saying and just stopped talking.