Do you ever wonder how people afford things?

[RedRobyn2021]

We're not poor, we have a little house (2 up 2 down) that us (and the bank) own, in a really nice place and we have a lovely dog and beautiful baby.

But sometimes I find myself comparing us to others around our age (I know I shouldn't)

We are so careful with money, we always have been. We own a little car which we had on finance but eventually paid off.

I know a couple younger than us in their mid 20s who live in a brand new 3 bed, with a baby and a dog, two horses, who have just had a very fancy big wedding, showing off their brand new truck on social media this morning.

Another couple I know same age as us (early 30s) have a bigger house, with two expensive cars and a baby too.

I am so grateful for what we have and I give myself a talking to often to remind myself of this. But occasionally, I will admit I secretly feel a little jealous and also like a failure, like I went wrong somewhere. How on Earth do people afford these things?

Please be kind, I know I am being incredibly materialistic, but surely I'm not alone in sometimes feeling like this?

I do wonder sometimes when I see people who I know don't have high paying jobs but who have "all the trappings". I assume different priorities and things bought on credit!

@RussianSpy101

They earn more.

DH and I are both 30, debt free (mortgage paid off too)
People who have more aren’t always in debt. We would never finance a car or white goods etc like some people I know.

Thats impressive @RussianSpy101

Did you really do it all yourself or have you had help/inheritance?

This fascinates me. I live in a really expensive area - like, really expensive. Every once in a while a couple with two young kids buys a £1.5m house and then does it up, both in jobs that really couldn’t fund that sort of thing. Wish I could ask them!

Some like my sister have a different view on risk. She is mortgaged to the hilt, car being leased and holidays go on the credit card.

Consequently, she has a nicer house, nicer car and goes more places than I do.

My mortgage is paid, we own our car and save for holidays.

I sleep better than she does.

Lots of debt and living beyond their means, or inheritance, or rich parents who sub them a lot

I would take most of the things @RussianSpy101 says with a hefty punch of salt, FYI.

@WheelieBinPrincess

I would take most of the things *@RussianSpy101* says with a hefty punch of salt, FYI.

Ahh, ok!!

I was waiting for the 'I'm 30 with a paid off mortgage as i earn well' then further on they say they had a tiny inheritance of 250k as well.....

@WheelieBinPrincess we’ve not moved yet but I can send you updates if you like?
5 days to go

@ssd no inheritance

It's astonishing how salaries vary, and as you say OP it isn't always the jobs you would think would pay well.

DH is a very experienced and sought-after carpenter but he's very bad at negotiating pay; he usually earns £17-28k. Some people on the same site doing the same job will be earning 50% more. And he tells me that on one site recently, the highest earner is someone who goes all over the country supplying and fitting curtains and blinds, who makes over £100k! They found a niche in the market and confidently demand what they think their work is worth.

@ssd no inheritance. We bought young though so house prices were low and we bought in a really cheap area to allow us to get on the property ladder.
It’s been a lot of luck and good timing.

I truly am happy with what I have we have our own home our own car and we are comfortable as in we have everything we need and some of what we want. The reason I'm happy though is I was from a very poor family in the 80s no heating ,not enough food at times and clothes were never new and where I am now is miles away from that my kids have grown up without going through what I did so for me that's what's important.

@RussianSpy101 no I care for our disabled son full time. I have rental properties in my name so that’s my income.

@WheelieBinPrincess you think I’m fortunate because we are financially wealthy but our son has a short life expectancy so I don’t consider myself fortunate tbh.
I would rather be poor with a healthy son but we all prioritise different things.
Our money enables him as comfortable a life as possible but it won’t make any difference in the long run.

It’s a big disservice to yourself to assume that people are in debt. It gives this false sense that certain things are only attainable when purchased on finance. That’s just not true.

Plenty of people earn more than you think.

My husband and I are both on six-figure salaries. Nobody knows this. Neighbours would know roughly that I work in X industry and he works in Y but wouldn’t know that we’re both very senior. Our families know our jobs, and know we’re on good wages, but don’t know the extent.

We both have bonuses, big pensions, and lots of other benefits like car allowances so we’re able to drive luxury cars.

We have several properties. In total, we’re mortgaged to a total of about 30% of the property value. Apart from family, nobody knows how many properties we have.

We got on the property ladder when I was 21.
Subsequently, we’ve also had inheritances, unfortunately. Those have helped hugely with deposits as we moved up the ladder. Our primary residence is very large and in an expensive area so I’m sure the neighbours look at us and wonder how we afford it, and assume we’re mortgaged up to our necks/have wealthy parents funding us.

We have investments, and insurances. We will be able to retire early.

We’re exceptionally lucky with our jobs. Just this week, DH got an unexpected 10% pat rise as part of a retention plan; people are leaving his industry en masse so his company are increasing salaries to keep competitive and encourage strong performers to stay.

We’ve arrived where we are through a mix of good luck, hard work, and risk-taking. That makes us no better or worse than others who don’t earn as much, but assuming that everyone who has more than average is in huge debt is a misconception.

Often, but not always, comes down to parents. Think how much someone who gets a leg up on the housing ladder when they’re 23 for instance, saves VS someone who rents till they’re 33. That could easily be £50,000-100,000 saved on rent. And then their house has possibly gained another £100,000 value in those ten years. That’s a 150k+ difference because Parent A could afford to contribute 10-15k for a deposit while Parent B couldn’t.

how on earth do you see yourself as a failure??? I wouldn't if I was in your position. Millions of people can only dream of having what you have.

Do you spend as much time worrying about people with a lot less than you?

Other people's business is not worth the time spent thinking about it. Their material possessions could be down to credit cards, inheritance, well paid jobs, lottery win, or they could be fraudsters, proceeds of crime, ....... they could be living a lie ......

Enjoy what you have and be thankful for your cosy happy family life, as most of us are for ours.

Finance. I know folks whom put everything on credit card and take out any and all finance options where available.

I have thought this 1000 times over the years and I can guarantee that in most cases they have lots of debt. As the years have rolled on I can't tell you how many couples we know, the same age as us (mid 50s), that always seemed to have it all, and are now rolling fast towards retirement still with mortgages and no pensions.

We were on the outset the poorer couple, despite being suspicious that our family income was greater, but we were mortgage free at 50 and will have a comfortable retirement at 60 and are debt free.

Keep doing what you do OP, at least you can sleep at night.

A lot of people live above their means and have a lot of debt. They may also just simply earn more money, what do you do for work?

If you have your health you have everything. Money doesn't make you happy.

@PlumManor

I have thought this 1000 times over the years and I can guarantee that in most cases they have lots of debt. As the years have rolled on I can't tell you how many couples we know, the same age as us (mid 50s), that always seemed to have it all, and are now rolling fast towards retirement still with mortgages and no pensions.

We were on the outset the poorer couple, despite being suspicious that our family income was greater, but we were mortgage free at 50 and will have a comfortable retirement at 60 and are debt free.

Keep doing what you do OP, at least you can sleep at night.

This smacks of envy.