Let’s Pretend We’re Opening a Restaurant

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Following on from the overrated meals and restaurants thread.

If you had a big budget (and no money worries if it failed!) and were going to open your own cafe/restaurant/pub, what would it be like?

I’ll start. If I was opening a pub, I’d do away with a long pretentious wine menu and month or so I’d source say ten different reds and ten whites at the same cost mark and they’d all be sold at £20 a bottle. Obviously I’d still make a profit on this but the point is you actually get to choose a wine properly and not just go for the ‘house’.

Cheese boards would always be sold individually so you can order them for yourself as a dessert. I don’t like sweet things but I bloody love cheese. I hate it when the cheese board is double the price of all the other puddings because you’re supposed to share it. You could pick and mix the cheese too.

I would do roasts but a very small window of about 3 hours (so just one sitting) so they’re all fresh and no heated up Yorkshire puddings and roasties.

Free gravy refills.

It’s just fantasy so it doesn’t have to be anything that would necessarily make you the most money!

Add yours.

It would be completely accessible, not just a steep ramp round the back by the smelly bins and 50 miles to the nearest toilet.

There would be little pod areas for people who don't want to catch/spread Covid, and open areas for the fools. Negative PCR proof at the door or no entry.

Vegetarian dishes that aren't squeaky halloumi or soggy aubergine. Vegan dishes served outside.

No dogs except service dogs, and no kids.

Actual tables and chairs, not a scaffolding plank on some plant pots.

@Dishwashersaurous

Five vegetarian, not necessarily vegan, main courses that didn't involve; beetroot, butternut squash, giant mushrooms or goats cheese

What would you serve?

And a cheeseboard option - you hardly EVER see this, even a basic one

Large cloth napkins. If they have to be paper, then they should be a decent size and thick enough to absorb all the spills, not the size and thickness of a sheet of toilet paper.

That reminds me. We had a ridiculous gratuity request at the weekend. It was an order at the bar place and they took the payment on ordering. DH was then asked " Would you like to add a gratuity to that?" which he declined, on the fairly reasonable grounds that we'd like to see what the service and the food were like first! We actually found both to be indifferent but would probably have left a few quid on the table had we not been accosted before we'd even been served, but as it was, we didn't bother.

Have and enforce a dress code, so that people making an effort to enjoy a special evening don’t have to sit next to people in jogging bottoms, baseball caps and pool slides.

Bring a large jug of iced tap water to every table when people sit down as a matter of course, instead of making them wait until the rest of the drinks are brought and then forgetting until reminded three times.

Train table staff not to interrupt people eating or talking to demand to know if everything is ok, and then disappear completely when customers actually want something.

No complicated “concepts” that require previous knowledge, or a lengthy and annoying explanation, or the waiter to ask “have you guys been here before?”

Decent sized, heavy linen napkins that cover your whole lap and stay put, rather than tiny little paper ones that achieve nothing and slide onto the floor constantly.

Every dessert available in a shot-sized portion, so you can still have one if you’re full, or counting calories. Or you can have three if you just can’t choose.

Agree with almost all of these ideas.

Carrying on with the staffing theme, staff would be paid above NMW, and would have regular shifts, planned in advance. They wouldn't be expected to work 45 minutes before /90 minutes after their shift for 'opening/ closing' unless that was agreed and they were paid for it. They wouldn't be expected to be available 24/7 on the off-chance of getting one shift, and then have the manager throw a strop if they're not available.

@CrimbleCrumble1

I think I’d add a lunch once a month that’s just for women who can go along and meet other local women. I know so many people who have less friends now since covid.

What a lovely idea.

My restaurant would have no dogs or children.
It would be small with a menu using local meat and veg where possible. New menu every few weeks and themed nights once a week.
Skin on chips would be banned along with planks, slates and baskets.

I’d also make sure that if a pub or restaurant was open until 11, everything stayed the same until then- ie don’t start going round at 10 blowing candies out and putting lights on and snapping the music off so you completely kill thé atmosphère when the patrons have just ordered another round/dessert or whatever.

Staff would be paid for their shift properly to cover this of course.

I would do about 4 or 5 courses.
Aim for seasonal and local, making one dish a signature dish, i.e. available the whole year long.
Same for desserts.
Take-away possible. Dogs welcome outside.

I'd have a post lunch pre-dinner time option, fresh made crumpets with naice butter, marmite or honey.
Choose your own ploughman's where you tick which options you want on a card. Which nicely covers veggies, vegans and meat eaters.
And fancy mini cakes, that you can buy as 1, 3 or 5 depending how greedy you feel.

Always show desserts with the other courses on the menu. If they look exciting I might well not have a first course. I like to know what's on offer.

I’d do a Carvery, but not one like you know.. chains where everything comes in frozen.
It would all be from scratch and the best quality, local produce. I’d ensure there were vegan/vegetarian options that have their own separate space too.
I’d pair wines for each ‘meat/vegan option’.

Also, 2 big fresh in house made dessert tables for afters.

Imagine how awesome that would be for the people who spend Xmas alone. To come and have a nice homemade roast and desserts/ wine, beer on a huge table with others who don’t have anyone to share Xmas with.

Hello!
I would do a tapas restaurant. No fancy decor - bare floor, solid wooden tables and chairs. 10 things on the menu - all food fresh. Salad and bread served to every table as part of the price. Specials would be paella, fresh sardines grilled with lime, etc.
Fantastic front of house staff - paid well.
I've seen it done badly. I would love to do it well.

Oh, I’d also donate daily leftovers to homeless people/ families in need of a meal.

How would run a restaurant without regular. My parents dined out very frequently at the same 5-6 places. When the waitress greeted them, she could put in his order immediately because he always ordered the same thing. It makes life easier.

Ok so mine just sells fries, really good fries. Maybe fat chips too

With about 100 different toppings and sauces on offer laid out really nicely, and a flat rate for 3 toppings and 3 sauces

Fizzy drinks in glass bottles plus some really good beer on tap

Fresh donuts for pudding

It would be called "Get Loaded" and play 00s hip hop and 90s indie

nanbread your chip restaurant would be my DH’s dream restaurant.

I'd have it so that all meals on the menu can be adapted for all dietary requirements. I have Coeliac disease and I'm so sick of all allergies/dietary requirements being "catered for" lumped in together in 3 meals one of which is a boring salad. I want gluten free and a substantial meal probably including real cheese!!!

I would have simple but tasty, fresh food which isn't pretentious at all and had a portion size which is good but not double the amount we want to eat.

The lunch menu would include decent sandwiches, quick bites etc.

I'd also have decent soft drinks for the non alcoholic drinkers! And the price of the mocktails would be nowhere near the price of the cocktails!

Everything would be cooked fresh too and I'd have really good desserts including a taster plate of a mini version of all desserts on one plate.

I’d serve chocolate bombs, the ones that melt when hot sauce is poured over them but mine would be made of white chocolate.

Unlimited crackers for cheese, 3 isn't enough

I used to think about stuff like this when I would be on long train/car journeys!

Decor:
Lots of light wood, fairy lights and real plants/foliage. A mixture of wood bench style tables for families or large groups and some smaller tables for couples etc. Cosy atmosphere , not too big but not cramped either.
Nice little play area for kids to enjoy, colouring in, books etc.

Menu:
I'd go for the roast option too but only at the weekend.
My food would be a real mix...abit Greek inspired, a little Italian, some Indian classics, Good British classics, pie and posh mash, that kind of thing.
Smaller portions for kids.
Puddings would be proper puddings, sticky toffee pud, warm chocolate brownie with ice cream, Key lime pie, Apple pie and custar/cream, fruit pavlova, fruit platter for a lighter option.. love the cheeseboard idea too!

Alcohol would be simple. Some good wine and beer options, good gin. Nothing crazy fancy or expensive.

Not thought about this much....

Mine wouldn't serve any kind of beans, pulses or lentils. But it would still offer delicious vegan and vegetarian options. I am trying hard to eat less meat but can't eat pulses etc, which makes it really difficult when eating out!

I'd love to see the return of the dessert trolley.
It's sometimes hard to picture what a dessert looks like , but if you were able to see them all first 😍

A decent ploughman's would be nice. Hardly see them anymore and when you do it's always ordinary sliced, bland ham or a massive wedge of nondescript cheddar.

@nanbread

Ok so mine just sells fries, really good fries. Maybe fat chips too

With about 100 different toppings and sauces on offer laid out really nicely, and a flat rate for 3 toppings and 3 sauces

Fizzy drinks in glass bottles plus some really good beer on tap

Fresh donuts for pudding

It would be called "Get Loaded" and play 00s hip hop and 90s indie

I really, really want to come to your restaurant. Not a huge fan of donuts but I'd enjoy working my way through the chip toppings.