Let’s Pretend We’re Opening a Restaurant

[WheelieBinPrincess]

Following on from the overrated meals and restaurants thread.

If you had a big budget (and no money worries if it failed!) and were going to open your own cafe/restaurant/pub, what would it be like?

I’ll start. If I was opening a pub, I’d do away with a long pretentious wine menu and month or so I’d source say ten different reds and ten whites at the same cost mark and they’d all be sold at £20 a bottle. Obviously I’d still make a profit on this but the point is you actually get to choose a wine properly and not just go for the ‘house’.

Cheese boards would always be sold individually so you can order them for yourself as a dessert. I don’t like sweet things but I bloody love cheese. I hate it when the cheese board is double the price of all the other puddings because you’re supposed to share it. You could pick and mix the cheese too.

I would do roasts but a very small window of about 3 hours (so just one sitting) so they’re all fresh and no heated up Yorkshire puddings and roasties.

Free gravy refills.

It’s just fantasy so it doesn’t have to be anything that would necessarily make you the most money!

Add yours.

A restaurant near us did a supper club once a month. 2 or 3 courses set price. No choice set menu. It was nice as reasonable price and you tried things you wouldn’t ordinarily. They offered ordinary menu too so if you were dining with someone who didn’t want option it was fine.

I think I’d add a lunch once a month that’s just for women who can go along and meet other local women. I know so many people who have less friends now since covid.

nice food in appropriate portion sizes for children - not all children want nuggets.

@user1497207191

Trouble with small/half plates is that people expect to pay only half the price. That's unreasonable because the actual cost of the food itself is a very small part of the cost of the "whole experience". The cost of heating the food is the same, the cost of the staff is the same, the cost of the plate itself and washing it is the same, the cost of the knife & fork is the same, the overheads (rent, power, etc) are the same. Realistically speaking, you'd be looking at paying £10 for a "half sized" meal that would be £12 if full sized. People will really struggle with that and it would just cause complaints etc.

Maybe if you have the small ones you have to commit to two or three, or however many; then you'd have an idea of how much to buy and prep/cook. This might only work if they're for sharing, though, rather than people who just want one.

@CrimbleCrumble1

I think I’d add a lunch once a month that’s just for women who can go along and meet other local women. I know so many people who have less friends now since covid.

This would be marvellous.

Ooh good thread!

I would have a 'world buffet' but with good, tasty food and with much of my favourites.

I'd love a fajita/taco station, pick a meat and spice/flavouring and it's cooked fresh. You put the other stuff together yourself, with a selection of tortillas etc.

Italian
Indian
Chinese
😍

@user1497207191

Trouble with small/half plates is that people expect to pay only half the price. That's unreasonable because the actual cost of the food itself is a very small part of the cost of the "whole experience". The cost of heating the food is the same, the cost of the staff is the same, the cost of the plate itself and washing it is the same, the cost of the knife & fork is the same, the overheads (rent, power, etc) are the same. Realistically speaking, you'd be looking at paying £10 for a "half sized" meal that would be £12 if full sized. People will really struggle with that and it would just cause complaints etc.

OK - I know this thread is about a pretend restaurant, but you make a very good point!

Highly comfortable chairs and some cushions to make them even more comfy. Especially helpful if you are short.

@MrsMiddleMother
the Movenpick in Toronto had a world buffet it was amazing - sadly closed a few years ago I think

Definitely different portion sizes that you don't need to be a certain age to order Our local pub does this for some dishes but not others - I'm not sure why. It's better than nothing but we would be good if covered everything, including desserts.
I wouldn't have a children's menu at all, just everything available in 2 or 3 different portion sizes.
Also dairy and egg free desserts that don't include nuts either. My DS has multiple allergies and the explosion in the popularity of vegan food really frustrates him as he gets excited when he sees vegan desserts on the menu but then disappointed when they contain nuts. Quite a few places we go to used to have soya milk and ice cream on the menu but it's all changed to almond for some reason so he has less choice now. Oh, and in fact it would be good if more places recognised that dairy and egg free isn't synonymous with vegan.
Gravy and sauces would always come separately and salads would always be served undressed. Those who wish to pour slimey substances on their food can add them later.

@MrsMiddleMother
I think Ceasers palace in Las Vegas has a world buffet actually It was in that worlds best hotels series

What a great thread!

Absolutely agree with the no: jars, baskets, planks of wood, tiles, shovels, old radiators, any other scrap found, to be used for serving.

I'm torn on the yes/no to dogs. I really dislike dogs in restaurants but I know many others don't feel the same.

I'd like automatic doors from the toilets back to the table so that you don't have to touch any handle that someone else might have touched without washing their hands. I'm not at all obsessive about hygiene when out and about but that's one thing I'd really appreciate.

Bacon everywhere.

Double doors in the entry way, plus a curtain, so no one has to sit in the cold.

If you must have bar seating for the single diners that you’re too mean to seat properly, give them stools with backs and foot rests for comfort

Tables that are big enough for dinner plates, sides and wine glasses

Plentiful coat hooks or a coat room, don’t expect people to hang their coats over the back of the chair. Handbag hooks under the table

Toilets that don’t smell, basins stocked with reasonable hand wash (not a diluted & refilled Ciel pump) and paper towels for your hands

The understanding that if someone asks for the bill, it’s usually because they want to leave the restaurant, not sit around like a lemon for 20 minutes

@WheelieBinPrincess

I think I already have my ideal restaurant locally it a small chain called Renoufs and it’s just cheese, wine and charcuterie - you get a plate of four cheeses or mix and match and unlimited crackers etc, If you like cheese you can’t go wrong I ❤️ It

www.renoufswinebars.co.uk/

@Biker47

A no children policy.

Children are fine if they behave. I'd probably say no under 8s. And no dogs.

Small, medium and large portions. No silly rules that you have to be under 12 to have a kids' meal, just do smaller portions if people want them. And larger ones.

And yes to veggie options and not just one token vegan option.

And when you serve a pot of tea make sure the jug of milk is a decent size.

And yes to water on the table and bread or breadsticks.

The understanding that if someone asks for the bill, it’s usually because they want to leave the restaurant, not sit around like a lemon for 20 minutes

Oh yes this, the most important thing!

@Dishwashersaurous

Five vegetarian, not necessarily vegan, main courses that didn't involve; beetroot, butternut squash, giant mushrooms or goats cheese

or risotto

Vegan and veggie dishes to be at least 30-40% cheaper than meat dishes. I'm a carnivore but it really grates that v and vg people get charged inflated prices for a main dish. I'm sorry but vegetables just aren't expensive and charging the same price as meat or fish is taking the piss

@MargotMoon

Vegan and veggie dishes to be at least 30-40% cheaper than meat dishes. I'm a carnivore but it really grates that v and vg people get charged inflated prices for a main dish. I'm sorry but vegetables just aren't expensive and charging the same price as meat or fish is taking the piss

Especially when the main course only has one vegetarian/vegan dish, and it will be one of the bog standard mushroom/butternut/goatscheese/beetroot/risotto that is something you wouldn't bother to eat at home.

I once went somewhere like that £16 for mushroom bruschetta. Sodding mushrooms on toast!

It was about 15 years ago.

Sparkling clean fresh cutlery, clean condiment bottles jars and glassware on an immaculate table
No dogs 🤢
Lots of Better vegetarian options
No tip function on the card reader
Friendly staff with clean hands and hair tied back
Customisable dishes that won’t be frowned upon
Comfortable chairs, not a bench or backless stool
Good lighting
Generously spaced out tables
Toilets which are away from eating area with warm running water and a hand drier which works
Clean walls and floor

Cutlery not plonked in a dirty old tin with three napkins for a table of 4

@BeaucoupFish

Oh. My. God. That sounds like heaven!!!

Oh the bill thing REALLY annoys me. I’ve had it in cheap cafes and high end dining and everything in between. As soon as the bill is placed on the table the staff bugger off and ignore you

I thought of another one, no automatically added gratuity, that really pisses me off especially when I’ve received crap service.