One kid it’s a hobby, and two children is parenting

[nov202]

From an article about Meghan Markle’s recent appearance on Ellen:

The duchess told chat show host Ellen DeGeneres that “Someone told H (Harry) and I that when you have one kid it’s a hobby, and two children is parenting.

I was a bit taken aback by this comment. I have one child and very much consider myself to be myself a parent, not a hobbyist.

www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle/people/arid-40747842.html

Well I for sure wouldn’t have been up at 5am this morning for a hobby

I guess as a couple they're as hugely intelligent as each other then.

First two comments are priceless, pmsl.

I don’t know many hobbies that often involve 18 hour days every day with no break! I’m not complaining BTW. Comments like this are really not helpful, I’ve no idea why anyone would say this or even think it.

Probably is a hobby if you have staff and millions if £

It's not the first time I've heard this although as a first time pregnant, can't comment on how true it is.

Someone said to me, one child fits around you but you fit around 2 children.

I only plan on having the one.

I disagree completely.

However, I can agree that going from 1 to 2, especially with a smallish age gap does massively extend your parenting skills it’s like ‘the next level’ if that makes sense. Not only are you now parenting but you’re spinning 2 plates of parallel needs constantly. I have a 20 month and 5 month old. It’s A LOT harder than just having my eldest was. I’m sure people with 3+ would say the same of me though so it’s swings and roundabouts really.

I wouldn't have put it like that as it sounds dismissive but I do sort of agree.

With one child, you do get some breaks of one sort or another - for example, both of mine have had phases of very early waking but because there are two of them, it's very rare for both of them to sleep in the same morning. When we had one, we booked early morning classes (football, swimming) on the weekend and took it in turns to take him so the other got a break.

When they get older, a sleepover with a friend is a night you can go out, if you have two, you still have the other child.

More generally, with one child the parents outnumber the child so it's a different focus in the household, I think.

The friends I have with one child definitely have more time to themselves and do more adult focussed activities as families

Definitely a hobby when you have half a dozen other people responsible for the baby! 🙄

It’s a saying that I can’t get offended at and I’ve been up all night with our one child. It’s just generally harder with two I imagine as you have even more pressure managing their needs etc.

Utter clap trap and more social conditioning to support the notion that the 'right' family model contains two parents and two kids.

I'm sure it seems like a hobby when you live in a mansion full of staff and have millions at your disposal . For the rest of us, the "hobby" is full time work .

Obviously a single working class parent to one child is going to have a harder time than two millionaires with nannies to two but it is just a saying that I don’t think requires much depth of thought. I don’t think anyone really thinks it’s a hobby.

@starrynight21

I'm sure it seems like a hobby when you live in a mansion full of staff and have millions at your disposal . For the rest of us, the "hobby" is full time work .

I think that sums it up. I thought it was a really crass thing to say.

@Invasionofthegutsnatchers

Probably is a hobby if you have staff and millions if £

This.

With one baby, when you are that rich, you do exactly as much or as little as you fancy and have a break whenever you want. I am sure it is like a hobby at first - but one you love and do for the joy of it most of the time (obviously nanny does the 5am wakeups mostly. You'd do a few because you're awake anyway and aren't that tired, but you'll never be in the situation of having no choice but to get up even though you feel like death because your baby needs you)

I am sure it would be possible to keep up the same arrangement with multiple kids but I would imagine it becomes more difficult to pretend that you are doing much parenting if nanny is settling the disputes between siblings etc so you'd need to be a bit more hands-on. I doubt she works at it as much as most mums of the same number and age spread of kids though.

Sounds like another way to have a pop at one child families to me. Hey, at least it's aimed at the parents and not our lonely, selfish, sibling-less children for a change!

Utter bloody nonsense, all parenting is parenting, all parenting has its challenges, be that one child, two children or a whole bakers dozen.

It’s a shame whoever came up with this didn’t give a shit about their first child. Of course logistically 2+ is harder but is that all parenting is now, logistics? I’m sure their first children will be thrilled to hear they were a hobby.

I think its crass too, in no way is having a child a hobby, but I do agree that having two is a huge step up in effort.

Such a smug and crass thing to say.

I think parenting isn't a competition. People don't need to say something so insensitive.

I have 3 kids and a friend told me that 3 kids was much easier than just having one. Where do people come up with this shit? 🙄

Also, for those saying that it's just a saying so it doesn't matter. I disagree. A lot of parents out there with just one child are really struggling and to dismiss them like that is just so rude and uncaring. Even parenting one child can be really hard work. I don't get how they can bang on so much about mental health and then say something like that.

Surely this is something that is different for every family.

Some babies are easier than others, some families can afford help, but I do think there is some truth that having 2 is harder than 1.

Does anyone think twins would be as easy as a single baby?

Years ago I saw an interview with the Waltons', the parents had just been approved to adopt a baby or twins and thought twins might be a bit much. They went away for a weekend to have a think and that's when the sextuplets were conceived.

There are to many variables, it’s like people saying twins is harder than siblings with gap. Kids are different parents are different peoples support networks are different, there is no point trying to draw a comparison.

Well it’s a bit tongue in cheek isn’t it because no one actually believes being a parent is a hobby surely

However yeah for me, the experience of 2 children to 1 is completely different. It’s not two times the work, it’s 10 x the work. Simple example - going to the supermarket or the doctors or post office etc with one - quite enjoyable. With two? Stressful and hard work!

But I’m speaking in general terms around average children. One extremely difficult child could be a lot harder work than two extremely easy babies for example.
But in general - two will be more work, it’s obvious.

It’s obviously not meant to be serious. But there is truth to the sentiment - parenting two or more is harder 🤷‍♀️

Parenting one child means you are always needed on hand to also be the playmate as there is no sibling to play with.

I lost my second daughter so, like many people, my "hobby" is enforced and I am told am not parenting. What utter nonsense and incredibly insensitive.