I agree that some children wasn’t to to fit in, others need it less because they fit in sufficiently. It is hard to be a child. There seem to be so many “friendship issues” (that is what our schools call them) so early on.
I also think that children do understand what you can and cannot afford quite early on. Our youngest is 7 and she certainly does.
I am trying to raise our children to be confident and happy. Two of them excels in sport (I have taken them to trading whenever I can) and plays for the school, one isn’t interested and that is fine as well.
I also try to let my children choose their friends. That sounds obvious but I am actually quite shy. It was a nightmare to cold call the parents of the children they wanted to play with in the beginning. Many times I had nothing in common with those people (often way too fashionable and posh) I am just getting used to it.
I also try to make sure they have fun on play dates at our house (offer crafts, games, baking) and luckily they always seem to have a good time. But it is very hard to miss that some children are richer. We live in a small flat. Most of their friends live in quite big houses. One has a swimming pool and a driver (!). I wish I wasn’t serious.
We let the children have an input when we can (choice of mainly primark clothes, choice of shoes). But we have a budget. As I said before, if they want something small badly that we can afford, they have to “work” for it with music practice, homework etc.
I have to say, all our children are talking about getting good jobs though. The youngest is only 7 and she wants to make lots of money. I tell them to work hard in school.