Friend is hijacking our weekend away with her Body Shop shite

[Youngatheart00]

In a fortnights time DH and I are going away with some other friends for a weekend away in a cottage. One of my friends has recently joined the Body shop cult at home and has been pushing it any excuse she gets.

She’s now suggested the girls in the group have a ‘pamper evening’ which basically just means her trying to sell to us. Of the 8 of us, 2 have already said ‘great idea can’t wait’ and another ive spoken to isn’t keen on the products but wants to support her. I don’t want to fall out over this but I really don’t want to waste a Saturday night when I don’t agree with MLM and hate what it’s doing to my friend!!

How to approach this tactfully?

Why approach it? Enjoy the pamper night and don’t buy anything!
Because it’s a sales pitch. And even if it weren’t MLM, what if OP didn’t enjoy “pampering”? What does that even mean – cotton balls between toes and face masks on? Not everyone’s thing: I’d be far happier in the pub. On a group weekend away you can’t really hijack and especially not with a sales pitch!

'it's not really my thing, I'll entertain the kids instead so you ladies can enjoy yourselves'

'pamper evenings aren't for me, so I might use the opportunity to go out with DH for a meal which works out all round'

'I've done all my Christmas shopping, so I'll slink off for a well needed glass of wine in a hot bath that night'

Anything along those kind of lines would work I think. Alternatively you could just grab a glass of wine and be around without paying much attention or buying anything? She must have the hide of a rhino to suggest this though, to hijack a whole evening of a group getaway.... I'd be mortified! People want to catch up and chat not listen to a sales pitch for body lotion

[quote BonesInTheOcean]**@Stovetopespresso* yup this. meal in pub where some can tag along/ join you later. also order something from her for £20 or so, choose a generic popular thing that she'll definitely stock.*

No - dont buy ANYTHING!!![/quote]
Completely agree. People feeling guilt tripped into buying something just perpetuates the problem. Do not buy a SINGLE THING.

I'd be annoyed.
It's a weekend away, no one should be working.

@BornInAThunderstorm

At worst you could always fake a headache on the night and hide out in your room with the tv or a good book

I think I'd go for this option to keep the peace.

I'd come over with a headache and have a lie down for a couple of hours while the sales pitch is on and then come back down under the guise of getting a glass of water.

If it had stopped - I'd be feeling 'a lot better after my nap' and rejoin.

If not, I'd go back upstairs.

Even the word 'pamper' makes me shudder. God I'd be so cross.

Can you ask any of the other women what they think?

I'd come over with a headache and have a lie down for a couple of hours while the sales pitch is on and then come back down under the guise of getting a glass of water

There’s no way I’d be going away for a weekend with mates and having to hide away on my bed for hours pretending to be ill!?

Just say it’s not your thing, but when they’ve finished, come and find me and we can do x.

How do you know all these people-is it the women or men (or everyone) were friends first? Do you think others are feeling the same as you?

I really really doubt any of your party wants to spend their Saturday evening being rinsed by this woman. Be bold and post on your chat, ‘ I’m wondering if the Body Shop Sales could happen another time? Seems a shame to miss the opportunity of a proper dinner and catch up when time is so short and personally I’m not interested in buying anything as I have Christmas sorted thanks. No offence to you CFFriend , obviously if everyone else is keen I can always just join in with the men.’

I’m betting you’ll get some relieved friends backing you up.

@MatildaTheCat

I really really doubt any of your party wants to spend their Saturday evening being rinsed by this woman. Be bold and post on your chat, ‘ I’m wondering if the Body Shop Sales could happen another time? Seems a shame to miss the opportunity of a proper dinner and catch up when time is so short and personally I’m not interested in buying anything as I have Christmas sorted thanks. No offence to you CFFriend , obviously if everyone else is keen I can always just join in with the men.’

I’m betting you’ll get some relieved friends backing you up.

This! Post this.

How to approach this tactfully?

Don't, just tell her straight what you've told us.

This. ^^ Obviously say it tactfully but make it clear that you are not comfortable with MLMs in principle and would rather she did not try to mix business with pleasure.

But you might be overrruled by other friends her huns who want to be supportive. In which care enjoy the evening, go with the flow but refuse to spend any money propping up this nonense. But try not to make yourself the 'unsupportive one' in the process.

in which case

The men will be doing something else, just go and do that.

^^ This.

Who wants to waste the best night of a couples weekend away doing a girly pamper evening? Do what you wanna do, you might find it's just friend and the two who are keen who end up pampering.

I hate “pampering” something like that taking over an evening away would annoy me no end

[quote BonesInTheOcean]**@Stovetopespresso* yup this. meal in pub where some can tag along/ join you later. also order something from her for £20 or so, choose a generic popular thing that she'll definitely stock.*

No - dont buy ANYTHING!!![/quote]
Absolutely don't buy anything - not for 20 quid, not for 20p!

That will be a green light to her and you will NEVER get rid of her.

I’d purchase a tube of nail cream that I like and use from her earlier in the day and go out for the evening. Supportive, productive and then doing what you want.

@Youngatheart00

I’m not sure how she’s planning to run it. I’ve been subjected to one of these ‘parties’ before, a few years ago (with another friend who was in to it for about 5 mins before realising she was losing money not making it)

She’s literally now posted on our group that she’ll be ‘taking orders for gifts so don’t forget your wallet ladies’ - I am pretty pissed off that a group of great friends getting together for the first time since pre covid is being used as a sales opportunity

Ooh, I’d be FUMING at her doing this! Can you gently say you’re looking forward to getting pissed/talking to everyone, not after a pamper night given how long it’s been since you last did a weekend away? I’d be so cross at her hijacking the weekend.

I would be very pissed off in your position - she’s being incredibly ill mannered and pushy and is relying on everyone else being too nice to object to her imposition. . If you say clearly and politely, without made up excuses, that this is not the time or the place then I’ll bet others will be relieved.

Can you book cinema tickets for your DH and yourself so you don't have to attend the pamper evening?

Whatever you say (and there have been some good suggestions here), you may well get accused of not being supportive of her venture - even more so if the other ladies jump in with you and say no.

But I think it is cheeky of her and I would not want to do this either.

Well if you're not happy to just do your own thing, you are going to have to call her out on it. Put in the group chat, 'I don't want to spend one the evenings we have together listening to a sales pitch. Does anyone want to do something else with me instead?' and see what the response is.

She is quite bold in saying to bring your wallets so maybe say now you've done all your Christmas shopping thanks and the others may follow suit but it shows you're probably not going to buy anything

Lots of good advice here.

One of my friends got sucked into to all that Scentsy bollocks and I just got in there quick and said I wished her lots of luck but I didn't like the products and wouldn't be purchasing. Then just stood firm and repeated the same mantra every time she raised the subject. It lasted about 3 months and, as far as I can tell, she has quietly wound it down. You just have to be polite, firm and consistent, OP

Maybe you could show support another way - nip in the kitchen, chill some bubbles and chuck some frozen sausage rolls in the oven while she flogs her shite....

I would say:

‘Listen Lucy, I don’t mean to offend, but I was really hoping to just relax and enjoy the weekend. I’m not really into pamper evenings, or Body Shop and whilst I want to support you, I would rather do it at another time. So, I’ve spoken to DH and I’ve decided to join him at the pub instead and I’ll leave you girls to it.’

Thanks all for the constructive advice!!

I have a big thing about being honest and not lying (believe even small lies lead to being comfortable with bigger ones…but that’s a whole other story…)

So I don’t really want to say I’m ill or have allergies and we’ve all paid a lot for this break. I want to enjoy it!

I’ve had a text from another of the ladies in the last hour basically saying “how the hell do we stop this” so thankfully I’m not alone! It’s made me feel less guilty about moaning about it (plus all your responses on here)

I’m going to respond on the group shortly - realised that another couple had already planned to cook on the Saturday night and they are fantastic chefs so that should FINGERS CROSSED limit the time available for the ‘ pampering’ / flogging. I may even volunteer for sous chef / prep - comes to something when I’d quite legitimately rather be peeling potatoes!! So my response going to be something along the lines of “ok, no issue with doing this but we will need to keep an eye on the time as we won’t be back from (daytime activity) until 6 and I know DCs will be wanting tea / bath and then I think we are eating about half 8. I’m also a bit skint but I’ll take a quick look”

Be honest but in a nice way. She's not considering whether anyone else wants to be a captive audience to her MLM shite, is she, so why should you have to tiptoe round her?

I'd go with the suggestion of saying that you don't enjoy pamper evenings, and you have already finished your Christmas shopping, so you'll take one for the team and look after the kids.

If she carries on pushing then you are going to have to be really blunt with her. Point out that you are looking forward to relaxing over a weekend away, not being hassled about buying products you don't want.